How It Feels (need your opinion)

[drummer_girl_oi]

Man, I feel like a fuckin' loser. Like I've let my life get to the point where I'm not even aware of my being a fuckin' spazz.

I have no job and it fuckin' sucks. I'm being supported by Mary and it's killing us.

I wish I could just keep a job.

My problem is that I can't keep my fuckin' mouth shut. It's soo bad that I'm seriously thinking about being put on meds again. I just can't stand being a freak anymore. I just want to being be normal.

I feel that Mary and I slipping away from each other and it's killing me inside. I love her so much, she means the fuckin' world to me. I don't know what I'd do if I lost her again. I might loose my sanity, I feel that I'm on the brink.

Soo, this is where I need your help. I want you to be honest with the way I behave or act. I need to understand what and where my flaws are. I really need to work on my self control, communication, personality, state of mind, and just keeping my cool. I feel it's the only way to pull me out of this crazy paranoia that's overcome me.

In simpler terms, just tell me when I'm being a idiot, cool?