(no subject)
What's up with all the fucking attitude in my family? I feel like if I ever make a personal decision she has something against it... even though it is no concern of hers.
I feel like I'm drifting apart from friends. I feel like if the person is talking to me, then they aren't close enough for me to talk to about problems in my life, even if they say they'll listen. It makes me feel like I have 1 best friend left, and it's been the one person I've been able to turn to about anything if I needed it.
I hate people that think just because I kiss them thinks they are going to get it all, even though they knew ahead of time that nothing would come of it. Then blame me for leading them on.
I want to get away. I need to get out of here and have a week of all care free. I don't like crying myself to sleep. I thought I left this all behind in high school. I want to go to the beach for a week and take the time to relax my own way. With a couple of good friends while getting a tan. Just chilling on the sand and a refreshing dip in the water every now and then.
College isn't the best. It's a tiny step up from high school. Not much of one, but a tiny one. I feel like my social life has taken a nose dive. I feel so inferior. I feel stupid, shy and I can tell that my self respect and esteem. Nothing has been easy for me. I want to feel good about myself, bring my confidence up around people. I've become to be "that shy, awkward kid" or so I feel. I was a hard working socializer at one point. What the fuck happened to me? I can only fake happiness so much.
I hope I get it into Spring Awakening (which I doubt will happen). It will be a good time away from here. I almost feel like I want nothing to do with this place. But at the same time I can't imagine myself away from here.
I feel like I'm drifting apart from friends. I feel like if the person is talking to me, then they aren't close enough for me to talk to about problems in my life, even if they say they'll listen. It makes me feel like I have 1 best friend left, and it's been the one person I've been able to turn to about anything if I needed it.
I hate people that think just because I kiss them thinks they are going to get it all, even though they knew ahead of time that nothing would come of it. Then blame me for leading them on.
I want to get away. I need to get out of here and have a week of all care free. I don't like crying myself to sleep. I thought I left this all behind in high school. I want to go to the beach for a week and take the time to relax my own way. With a couple of good friends while getting a tan. Just chilling on the sand and a refreshing dip in the water every now and then.
College isn't the best. It's a tiny step up from high school. Not much of one, but a tiny one. I feel like my social life has taken a nose dive. I feel so inferior. I feel stupid, shy and I can tell that my self respect and esteem. Nothing has been easy for me. I want to feel good about myself, bring my confidence up around people. I've become to be "that shy, awkward kid" or so I feel. I was a hard working socializer at one point. What the fuck happened to me? I can only fake happiness so much.
I hope I get it into Spring Awakening (which I doubt will happen). It will be a good time away from here. I almost feel like I want nothing to do with this place. But at the same time I can't imagine myself away from here.