(no subject)
I hit 3000 tonight. Sonata for Oboe and Basso Continuo in C Minor op. 1 No 8 - Allegro. By George Friedrich Händel.
I'm in such a mood right now. I got back from the play (no comment), and want to write. Now I only wish I could.
Since lunch I've been in a funk. The pizza I had did taste funny, but I doubt those were "pepperonis of reflection". It's amazing, as I think about it, how much I want in life, but how little I'm ready to do about it. My friends are and have turned 18. I wait till April, but than I'm an adult (for the most part). It's just a weird feeling. I have no REAL plans for college, but just have a feeling I'll get by. I'll get by with fate, not dreams. Why can't they ever be the same? I envy someone who dreams of exactly what he will get. I have no idea what I'm going to be doing in 6 years from now. I know a few things I'm not doing. I know a few things that are going to disappoint some people. I have a headache right now, and don't want to think about what I don't know.
Nights are allowed to go badly every once in a while, right? One in a few? Dozen? Many? Seemed like everything tonight didn't go to plan. Didn't go the way I wanted it to, and it bothered me for some reason. I've been on edge lately. People say I have a condescending tone nowadays. I find Mary telling me to calm down more often. For what? Beats me. I've become bitter. Bitter towards strangers, acquaintances, and friends even. Those worst part overall, is like I said before. I don’t know why. I’ve lost a lot of respect in band this year because of it. When three of the leaders, and close friends tell you flat out “no” to you, you know you’re doing something wrong. Only a month more, which is only two tournaments. Up next is concert band, where Mr. Case will leave us all unfulfilled with the more important part of music education. I can do something about that though. I have a section, not a band in that. I can help them the way he won’t.
I have so much feeling right now, and no way to even understand what it is. Something is wrong, just not sure yet.
In the meantime, I’ll get by, living one day at a time...
By the way, at the end of this post, I have 3015, with Smoke on the Water my newest song.
I'm in such a mood right now. I got back from the play (no comment), and want to write. Now I only wish I could.
Since lunch I've been in a funk. The pizza I had did taste funny, but I doubt those were "pepperonis of reflection". It's amazing, as I think about it, how much I want in life, but how little I'm ready to do about it. My friends are and have turned 18. I wait till April, but than I'm an adult (for the most part). It's just a weird feeling. I have no REAL plans for college, but just have a feeling I'll get by. I'll get by with fate, not dreams. Why can't they ever be the same? I envy someone who dreams of exactly what he will get. I have no idea what I'm going to be doing in 6 years from now. I know a few things I'm not doing. I know a few things that are going to disappoint some people. I have a headache right now, and don't want to think about what I don't know.
Nights are allowed to go badly every once in a while, right? One in a few? Dozen? Many? Seemed like everything tonight didn't go to plan. Didn't go the way I wanted it to, and it bothered me for some reason. I've been on edge lately. People say I have a condescending tone nowadays. I find Mary telling me to calm down more often. For what? Beats me. I've become bitter. Bitter towards strangers, acquaintances, and friends even. Those worst part overall, is like I said before. I don’t know why. I’ve lost a lot of respect in band this year because of it. When three of the leaders, and close friends tell you flat out “no” to you, you know you’re doing something wrong. Only a month more, which is only two tournaments. Up next is concert band, where Mr. Case will leave us all unfulfilled with the more important part of music education. I can do something about that though. I have a section, not a band in that. I can help them the way he won’t.
I have so much feeling right now, and no way to even understand what it is. Something is wrong, just not sure yet.
In the meantime, I’ll get by, living one day at a time...
By the way, at the end of this post, I have 3015, with Smoke on the Water my newest song.