Graveyard
Somewhere in the back of my mind is a mental graveyard, and this morning as I lay in that weird state of not sleeping but not fully awake it showed itself to me. I've always been a "forgive but never forget" type of person when it comes to any situation. Forgive others for their actions, forgive myself for my reactions, but I save a mental piece from everything to remind myself to act differently the next time around. Usually it's a trigger word somehow related to the situation, other times a scene gets burned in my mind like a Plasma TV you left on pause for too long.
I guess the graveyard has always been there, I just never realized it. The phrase "darkness of the mind" from Philosophy class comes to mind. All themes present in the macrocosm must exist somewhere within the microcosm, right? It's only proper then that we keep a mental graveyard. It reflects itself in a lot of my thinking, I look back on past situations the same way I'd look at a tombstone. There's a marker of the incident, a name, a date, some type of epithet to sum it up. When a painful memory comes up it's tempting to treat it like it's real and right in front of me: cry, yell at the person, ask them why we did what we did. But I just look at the tombstone with mild discontentment, remind myself it's in the past, and move on with my day. To quote NPH from that show he does (I'm so behind on the television times..) "Whenever I'm sad, I stop being sad and start being awesome instead."
This is gonna provide for some interesting trance work.. I need coffee first.
I guess the graveyard has always been there, I just never realized it. The phrase "darkness of the mind" from Philosophy class comes to mind. All themes present in the macrocosm must exist somewhere within the microcosm, right? It's only proper then that we keep a mental graveyard. It reflects itself in a lot of my thinking, I look back on past situations the same way I'd look at a tombstone. There's a marker of the incident, a name, a date, some type of epithet to sum it up. When a painful memory comes up it's tempting to treat it like it's real and right in front of me: cry, yell at the person, ask them why we did what we did. But I just look at the tombstone with mild discontentment, remind myself it's in the past, and move on with my day. To quote NPH from that show he does (I'm so behind on the television times..) "Whenever I'm sad, I stop being sad and start being awesome instead."
This is gonna provide for some interesting trance work.. I need coffee first.