Taste
"Jim."
He got a grunt in reply.
"Jim."
"What, Sandburg?"
"When I died--"
"You did not die, Sandburg, and I'm sick of talking about this."
"Shouldn't I know if I died? More importantly, shouldn't the paramedics know if I died?"
Jim dropped his barely-touched slice of pizza and pushed back from the table.
"Jim, come on..."
"Fine, Sandburg, what do you want to know? You drowned, I gave you CPR, you came back."
"I talked to Simon." Jim wasn't looking at him but Blair was used to that. Classic fear-based response. "You gave me mouth-to-mouth and it didn't work. The paramedics tried and--"
"I know all this--"
"Jim, when I came back you had already stopped the CPR."
Jim frowned. "So?"
"So I have an idea."
"Christ."
"I'm serious. It would explain why everything tastes funny to you these days, plus it would explain why you're living in my back pocket."
"I am not--"
"Jim, you followed me into the bathroom yesterday."
"I wasn't--"
"And don't think I don't know that you come down to check on me about four times a night."
Jim was up and out of his chair. "Drop it, Blair."
"Yeah, because it always works out so well when you get me to drop something."
"When do you ever--"
"Jim!"
They both stared angrily for a moment. But the fact that Jim had recently gotten him killed gave Blair an edge this time.
"Fine." Jim's face was stone.
Blair sighed and approached him cautiously. "Just hear me out, okay?"
"I said fine. Talk."
"You know me through your senses, right? I mean, not just through your senses, you know me in lots of ways but the way you know me as a Sentinel is through your senses. I mean, you probably know me better than you know anyone. I live with you, I'm your Guide, I'm--"
"I know this."
"Okay, okay. But really, you only know me through four of your five senses. I mean, you know me by sight, and by touch, and by hearing and by smell ..."
"And how."
"But you never knew me through taste."
Jim frowned. "Taste."
Blair nodded. "You never knew my taste until I was dead."
"You weren't dead, Sandburg--"
"I was dead, Jim."
They both paused and stared for a moment and Blair very deliberately did not smile, although it wasn't easy watching Jim struggle with his own expression. Hard to be pissed when you'e trying not to laugh. Here's to unintentional Star Trek references.
"Seriously, man, you gave mouth-to-mouth to a corpse. The only experience your sense of taste has of me is when I was dead."
Jim appeared to be listening. "So you're thinking ... what, my tastebuds are freaking out?"
"Exactly. Nothing tastes right anymore, plus you're having a hard time believing I'm okay. Because one of your senses needs reassurance."
"So your solution is ..."
"I think you have to kiss me."
"Kiss you."
"With tongue."
Jim gaped and then shook his head, "Blair, you've come up with some weird shit before but..."
"Oh, come on," Blair grinned. "The sweat lodge thing was way weirder than this. One kiss and maybe you get your semi-normal life back. Can your uber-macho persona handle it?"
"I don't know. Are you gonna grab my ass?"
"Only on request."
Jim snorted.
Blair looked at him consideringly. He didn't seem too freaked out by the kissing idea, which was a little unexpected. "Ever kissed a guy before?"
Jim shrugged. "Vice. Had a couple undercover gigs where I had to play gay."
"So?"
"So what? Part of the job." He looked at Blair. "You?"
"Tried it a few times. Got to third base once." He gave his own shrug. "It was okay. I had fun but .... never compared to women, you know?"
"Okay. So ..."
Blair spread his arms wide and grinned invitingly. "So lay one on me, sailor."
Jim stared at him and sighed. "I hope to hell nobody's got us under surveillance right now. This'll confirm every rumor out there."
"As if you didn't have enough trouble getting women to go out with you."
Jim glared but there wasn't any heat behind it. "I haven't noticed your calendar filling up these days either, Romeo."
"Hey, they're all scared of you."
Jim hesitated and then walked over to stand in front of Blair. "You really think this'll work?"
"I think it's worth a shot. Doesn't do any harm to try it."
"This feels really weird."
"You know it wouldn't feel weird at all if you lived in--"
"I live here, Sandburg." Jim cut him off. "I live here and not in the deepest jungles of the Amazon or in ancient Greece or anywhere else men kissed each other on the mouth all the time." He sighed. "It just feels weird."
"I know. Well, just ... do it quick."
"Yeah." Jim hesitated another minute and then leaned down quickly and pressed his lips to Blair's.
Two seconds. Two seconds of warm lips and scratchy stubble and then Blair felt the laughter bubbling up from his diaphram, trying to escape through his nose. He suppressed it desperately, but Jim sensed his hitching breath and pulled back indignantly.
"What's so funny?"
Blair laughed helplessly and covered his face with his hands. "Okay! Okay, I'm sorry." Another giggle snorted its way free. "But if you have to ask what's funny--"
"This was your fucking idea, Sandburg!"
Ah, shit, now he was pissed again. Blair put on his soothing voice. "I know. I'm really sorry. It's just ..." he waved his hands vaguely and unhelpfully. "Tension reliever, you know? Come on, we'll try it again."
"I don't remember the last time I didn't want to kiss someone this much."
"I know. I'm sorry, seriously." He wiped the smile from his face. "No laughing. Promise."
Jim looked like he was on the verge of stalking off in a huff, but he just shook his head in irritation and leaned down again and kissed Blair firmly.
Two seconds. And then it was Jim who was pulling back and laughing. Blair giggled along with him and then, before Jim could step away, Blair grabbed the back of his neck and pulled his smiling, open mouth down upon his own.
Two seconds. They froze, with lips and tongues and teeth smashed together. Then they pulled apart and stared. No laughing.
Blair blinked and swallowed. "Um..."
Jim kissed him again, and Blair opened his mouth for Jim's tongue and something fierce and shocking grabbed hold of his insides and squeezed. His hands clutched at Jim's shoulders and Jim's hands were twisted into his hair and angling his head and the kiss was deep and wet and desperate and Blair was stumbling as Jim pushed him backwards across the kitchen and Jim's hands tightened painfully and held Blair upright by his hair and then the back of the couch hit Blair's ass and their hips came together with a jolt. Jim groaned and his hands left Blair's head to grab him by the hips and he lifted and Blair moaned in response and sat back on the couch and wrapped his legs around Jim's thighs.
Fuck, fuck, what the fuck is this, this is out of fucking nowhere, where the fuck has this been hiding ...
Blair was rock hard inside his jeans and Jim ground his own erection into him, never breaking the kiss. They both breathed frantically through their noses and kept their mouths moving, tongues tangling, teeth scraping. The jeans were painfully constricting and Blair reached down but he inexplicably attacked Jim's belt rather than his own and Jim honest-to-god growled and lifted Blair and tumbled him down to the hardwood floor.
Couch. There's a couch right there and we're on the fucking hard floor...
Jim's jeans were open and his dick stuck out stiffly, and Blair's wrist and knuckles bumped and brushed against it as he worked to free his own aching cock. Jim didn't even seem to notice, intent as he was in pushing his tongue deep, licking up Blair's taste over and over. Blair gasped into Jim's mouth as his hard flesh sprang free and he immediately grabbed a double-handful of Jim's ass and pulled him to settle between his thighs. Their cocks squeezed together between their bellies and Blair made a whining sort of sound in the back of his throat as Jim shoved against him. A zipper scraped his balls painfully but he just didn't give a damn and pulled at Jim's ass again, encouraging the thrust and Jim pressed down hard and rocked against him.
Shit, shit, shitshitshitshit, I'm already there, this is going to blow top of my fucking head off, this is ....
He wanted to scream but Jim still bore down hard on his mouth, still kissed and sucked and licked hungrily and Blair made a muffled kind of wail as bright little shocks of ecstasy shivered through him and he tried to submit to it, tried to push himself over into orgasm and be done with it because this was bordering on unbearable, he'd never-- Jim lunged against him and Blair arched helplessly to meet him and thought of Jim fucking him, really fucking him, naked and sweating, looming over him and penetrating him, buried balls-deep inside him and his body clenched and
jesusfuckingchrist
he wrenched his mouth away from Jim and shouted hoarsely as his balls tightened and emptied themselves between their heaving bodies and Jim buried his face in Blair's hair and fastened his mouth over the side of Blair's neck and Blair, gasping, could feel him trying not to bite down, could feel that goddamned Blessed Protector, don't-hurt-the-Guide instinct kicking in and Blair's hand found the back of Jim's head and pressed down and Jim let out an agonized moan and his teeth did clamp down a little and he thrust a couple more times, jerkily, and his dick spurted to add to the smeary mess already there.
They lay there, trembling, clinging together, for a few minutes, trying to recover. Probably longer than the whole insanity had taken in the first place.
"Jim," Blair's arms tightened around him just in time. "No, don't go anywhere. I just ..."
"Jesus, Blair." Jim was shaking and Blair rubbed his back, trying to soothe him even though he was thorougly shattered himself.
"It's okay, don't talk." Jim hugged him tighter in gratitude and Blair almost smiled. "You don't have to talk yet."
"No, I ...." Jim pulled back a little bit, up onto an elbow, enough so he could look at Blair's face and since when was Blair the emotional coward? He fought the impulse to pull Jim back down so he wouldn't have to look at him yet. But it was still Jim, looking down at him, lips swollen and reddened, thoroughly freaked out. "What the hell was that?"
"Hey, I'm as surprised as you are." He shook his head, trying to remember what had been in it ten minutes ago. "I just thought ... a kiss. I had no clue that that was waiting to jump us."
"So you never felt ... you were never attracted?"
"I always thought you looked good in a towel."
Jim raised his eyebrows but Blair wasn't fooled. Jim knew perfectly well he looked good in a towel.
"Nothing else?"
"Youthful experiments aside, Jim, I'm straight. So no, I never lusted after you before."
"You think this is some sort of weird Sentinel/Guide thing?"
"Maybe. Some of the ancient pairs had sexual relationships. But nothing I read made it sound like a compulsion or anything."
"Well. Lucky us."
Blair snorted. "Is it? Lucky us?" Blair thought fleetingly of the idiocy of them having a conversation like this lying on the floor with their dicks hanging out, with come and sweat drying on their bodies. Not a situation conducive to either clear-headedness or honesty.
"Maybe it is." Jim said, hesitantly. "The first feeling I had was ... like a click. Like this is where we should have been all along."
"And all that has been building all this time, just waiting for the trigger."
"Maybe."
"So..." Blair tried desperately to think of a way to ask that didn't sound needy and hopeful. "Is that a good thing? For you?"
And oh fuckity fuck because he forgot about his beloved Sentinel and his fear-based responses because Jim was of course taking that the wrong way and tightening, withdrawing, protecting himself and way to be an insensitive bastard, Sandburg, and Blair grabbed his ears and yanked Jim down to look him in the eye. "Tell me it's a good thing, Jim."
Jim looked at him mistrustfully and Blair pulled him closer and kissed him with weary lips and said again. "Tell me."
Jim relaxed. "Yeah, Sandburg, it's a good thing."
"Good. Settled." He kissed him again. "New rule."
Jim waited.
"No calling me Sandburg when our dicks are out."
"Yeah, okay."
He got a grunt in reply.
"Jim."
"What, Sandburg?"
"When I died--"
"You did not die, Sandburg, and I'm sick of talking about this."
"Shouldn't I know if I died? More importantly, shouldn't the paramedics know if I died?"
Jim dropped his barely-touched slice of pizza and pushed back from the table.
"Jim, come on..."
"Fine, Sandburg, what do you want to know? You drowned, I gave you CPR, you came back."
"I talked to Simon." Jim wasn't looking at him but Blair was used to that. Classic fear-based response. "You gave me mouth-to-mouth and it didn't work. The paramedics tried and--"
"I know all this--"
"Jim, when I came back you had already stopped the CPR."
Jim frowned. "So?"
"So I have an idea."
"Christ."
"I'm serious. It would explain why everything tastes funny to you these days, plus it would explain why you're living in my back pocket."
"I am not--"
"Jim, you followed me into the bathroom yesterday."
"I wasn't--"
"And don't think I don't know that you come down to check on me about four times a night."
Jim was up and out of his chair. "Drop it, Blair."
"Yeah, because it always works out so well when you get me to drop something."
"When do you ever--"
"Jim!"
They both stared angrily for a moment. But the fact that Jim had recently gotten him killed gave Blair an edge this time.
"Fine." Jim's face was stone.
Blair sighed and approached him cautiously. "Just hear me out, okay?"
"I said fine. Talk."
"You know me through your senses, right? I mean, not just through your senses, you know me in lots of ways but the way you know me as a Sentinel is through your senses. I mean, you probably know me better than you know anyone. I live with you, I'm your Guide, I'm--"
"I know this."
"Okay, okay. But really, you only know me through four of your five senses. I mean, you know me by sight, and by touch, and by hearing and by smell ..."
"And how."
"But you never knew me through taste."
Jim frowned. "Taste."
Blair nodded. "You never knew my taste until I was dead."
"You weren't dead, Sandburg--"
"I was dead, Jim."
They both paused and stared for a moment and Blair very deliberately did not smile, although it wasn't easy watching Jim struggle with his own expression. Hard to be pissed when you'e trying not to laugh. Here's to unintentional Star Trek references.
"Seriously, man, you gave mouth-to-mouth to a corpse. The only experience your sense of taste has of me is when I was dead."
Jim appeared to be listening. "So you're thinking ... what, my tastebuds are freaking out?"
"Exactly. Nothing tastes right anymore, plus you're having a hard time believing I'm okay. Because one of your senses needs reassurance."
"So your solution is ..."
"I think you have to kiss me."
"Kiss you."
"With tongue."
Jim gaped and then shook his head, "Blair, you've come up with some weird shit before but..."
"Oh, come on," Blair grinned. "The sweat lodge thing was way weirder than this. One kiss and maybe you get your semi-normal life back. Can your uber-macho persona handle it?"
"I don't know. Are you gonna grab my ass?"
"Only on request."
Jim snorted.
Blair looked at him consideringly. He didn't seem too freaked out by the kissing idea, which was a little unexpected. "Ever kissed a guy before?"
Jim shrugged. "Vice. Had a couple undercover gigs where I had to play gay."
"So?"
"So what? Part of the job." He looked at Blair. "You?"
"Tried it a few times. Got to third base once." He gave his own shrug. "It was okay. I had fun but .... never compared to women, you know?"
"Okay. So ..."
Blair spread his arms wide and grinned invitingly. "So lay one on me, sailor."
Jim stared at him and sighed. "I hope to hell nobody's got us under surveillance right now. This'll confirm every rumor out there."
"As if you didn't have enough trouble getting women to go out with you."
Jim glared but there wasn't any heat behind it. "I haven't noticed your calendar filling up these days either, Romeo."
"Hey, they're all scared of you."
Jim hesitated and then walked over to stand in front of Blair. "You really think this'll work?"
"I think it's worth a shot. Doesn't do any harm to try it."
"This feels really weird."
"You know it wouldn't feel weird at all if you lived in--"
"I live here, Sandburg." Jim cut him off. "I live here and not in the deepest jungles of the Amazon or in ancient Greece or anywhere else men kissed each other on the mouth all the time." He sighed. "It just feels weird."
"I know. Well, just ... do it quick."
"Yeah." Jim hesitated another minute and then leaned down quickly and pressed his lips to Blair's.
Two seconds. Two seconds of warm lips and scratchy stubble and then Blair felt the laughter bubbling up from his diaphram, trying to escape through his nose. He suppressed it desperately, but Jim sensed his hitching breath and pulled back indignantly.
"What's so funny?"
Blair laughed helplessly and covered his face with his hands. "Okay! Okay, I'm sorry." Another giggle snorted its way free. "But if you have to ask what's funny--"
"This was your fucking idea, Sandburg!"
Ah, shit, now he was pissed again. Blair put on his soothing voice. "I know. I'm really sorry. It's just ..." he waved his hands vaguely and unhelpfully. "Tension reliever, you know? Come on, we'll try it again."
"I don't remember the last time I didn't want to kiss someone this much."
"I know. I'm sorry, seriously." He wiped the smile from his face. "No laughing. Promise."
Jim looked like he was on the verge of stalking off in a huff, but he just shook his head in irritation and leaned down again and kissed Blair firmly.
Two seconds. And then it was Jim who was pulling back and laughing. Blair giggled along with him and then, before Jim could step away, Blair grabbed the back of his neck and pulled his smiling, open mouth down upon his own.
Two seconds. They froze, with lips and tongues and teeth smashed together. Then they pulled apart and stared. No laughing.
Blair blinked and swallowed. "Um..."
Jim kissed him again, and Blair opened his mouth for Jim's tongue and something fierce and shocking grabbed hold of his insides and squeezed. His hands clutched at Jim's shoulders and Jim's hands were twisted into his hair and angling his head and the kiss was deep and wet and desperate and Blair was stumbling as Jim pushed him backwards across the kitchen and Jim's hands tightened painfully and held Blair upright by his hair and then the back of the couch hit Blair's ass and their hips came together with a jolt. Jim groaned and his hands left Blair's head to grab him by the hips and he lifted and Blair moaned in response and sat back on the couch and wrapped his legs around Jim's thighs.
Fuck, fuck, what the fuck is this, this is out of fucking nowhere, where the fuck has this been hiding ...
Blair was rock hard inside his jeans and Jim ground his own erection into him, never breaking the kiss. They both breathed frantically through their noses and kept their mouths moving, tongues tangling, teeth scraping. The jeans were painfully constricting and Blair reached down but he inexplicably attacked Jim's belt rather than his own and Jim honest-to-god growled and lifted Blair and tumbled him down to the hardwood floor.
Couch. There's a couch right there and we're on the fucking hard floor...
Jim's jeans were open and his dick stuck out stiffly, and Blair's wrist and knuckles bumped and brushed against it as he worked to free his own aching cock. Jim didn't even seem to notice, intent as he was in pushing his tongue deep, licking up Blair's taste over and over. Blair gasped into Jim's mouth as his hard flesh sprang free and he immediately grabbed a double-handful of Jim's ass and pulled him to settle between his thighs. Their cocks squeezed together between their bellies and Blair made a whining sort of sound in the back of his throat as Jim shoved against him. A zipper scraped his balls painfully but he just didn't give a damn and pulled at Jim's ass again, encouraging the thrust and Jim pressed down hard and rocked against him.
Shit, shit, shitshitshitshit, I'm already there, this is going to blow top of my fucking head off, this is ....
He wanted to scream but Jim still bore down hard on his mouth, still kissed and sucked and licked hungrily and Blair made a muffled kind of wail as bright little shocks of ecstasy shivered through him and he tried to submit to it, tried to push himself over into orgasm and be done with it because this was bordering on unbearable, he'd never-- Jim lunged against him and Blair arched helplessly to meet him and thought of Jim fucking him, really fucking him, naked and sweating, looming over him and penetrating him, buried balls-deep inside him and his body clenched and
jesusfuckingchrist
he wrenched his mouth away from Jim and shouted hoarsely as his balls tightened and emptied themselves between their heaving bodies and Jim buried his face in Blair's hair and fastened his mouth over the side of Blair's neck and Blair, gasping, could feel him trying not to bite down, could feel that goddamned Blessed Protector, don't-hurt-the-Guide instinct kicking in and Blair's hand found the back of Jim's head and pressed down and Jim let out an agonized moan and his teeth did clamp down a little and he thrust a couple more times, jerkily, and his dick spurted to add to the smeary mess already there.
They lay there, trembling, clinging together, for a few minutes, trying to recover. Probably longer than the whole insanity had taken in the first place.
"Jim," Blair's arms tightened around him just in time. "No, don't go anywhere. I just ..."
"Jesus, Blair." Jim was shaking and Blair rubbed his back, trying to soothe him even though he was thorougly shattered himself.
"It's okay, don't talk." Jim hugged him tighter in gratitude and Blair almost smiled. "You don't have to talk yet."
"No, I ...." Jim pulled back a little bit, up onto an elbow, enough so he could look at Blair's face and since when was Blair the emotional coward? He fought the impulse to pull Jim back down so he wouldn't have to look at him yet. But it was still Jim, looking down at him, lips swollen and reddened, thoroughly freaked out. "What the hell was that?"
"Hey, I'm as surprised as you are." He shook his head, trying to remember what had been in it ten minutes ago. "I just thought ... a kiss. I had no clue that that was waiting to jump us."
"So you never felt ... you were never attracted?"
"I always thought you looked good in a towel."
Jim raised his eyebrows but Blair wasn't fooled. Jim knew perfectly well he looked good in a towel.
"Nothing else?"
"Youthful experiments aside, Jim, I'm straight. So no, I never lusted after you before."
"You think this is some sort of weird Sentinel/Guide thing?"
"Maybe. Some of the ancient pairs had sexual relationships. But nothing I read made it sound like a compulsion or anything."
"Well. Lucky us."
Blair snorted. "Is it? Lucky us?" Blair thought fleetingly of the idiocy of them having a conversation like this lying on the floor with their dicks hanging out, with come and sweat drying on their bodies. Not a situation conducive to either clear-headedness or honesty.
"Maybe it is." Jim said, hesitantly. "The first feeling I had was ... like a click. Like this is where we should have been all along."
"And all that has been building all this time, just waiting for the trigger."
"Maybe."
"So..." Blair tried desperately to think of a way to ask that didn't sound needy and hopeful. "Is that a good thing? For you?"
And oh fuckity fuck because he forgot about his beloved Sentinel and his fear-based responses because Jim was of course taking that the wrong way and tightening, withdrawing, protecting himself and way to be an insensitive bastard, Sandburg, and Blair grabbed his ears and yanked Jim down to look him in the eye. "Tell me it's a good thing, Jim."
Jim looked at him mistrustfully and Blair pulled him closer and kissed him with weary lips and said again. "Tell me."
Jim relaxed. "Yeah, Sandburg, it's a good thing."
"Good. Settled." He kissed him again. "New rule."
Jim waited.
"No calling me Sandburg when our dicks are out."
"Yeah, okay."