Ok, i'm oficially insane
Ok, I just got back from orchestra hall and it sucked. Not the show, the show rocked. The fact that i couldn't enjoy the show because i was too fucking distracted. I can't stop pondering. I absolutely HATE this, i wish my life would have some sort of linear aspect! It's one big fucking roller coaster all the time, either i'm completely content, or i'm pissed off and confused. I don't know what to do. I couldn't enjoy the party, i had to remove myself halfway. I couldn't even mentally go to a party. And now i'm haunted by the fucking Taroh Card reading tiff tiff gave me, i can't sleep, cause i don't know what the fuck to do. Normally i wouldn't take it so seriously, but it was so accurate, i'm fucking lost. I dont' know what to do anymore, i'm ready to break down. My brain cannot decide what it wants to do, my conciousness is bothering me and my concience is eating me, and i don't know what for! I mean if i acted upon it yeah, it would have a reason to, but i haven't, and Jesus Christ i want to... but i can't! FUCK! Whoever is reading this is about thinkin i'm loopy at this point. But i don't even know what the fuck is going on, so it's ok. Actually, i do, but i don't know that should put it somewhere someone could see it. I think... I think i'm actually scared of what would happen. Because i don't know. I hate not knowing, that's why i'm so pissed at my parents for putting the dogs in the humane society, i don't know where the fuck they are. To tell you the truth i almost would have rather had them put to sleep, at least then i know they are somewhere, not nowhere. Oh God, here we go again, my... i'm tired of calling it my brain, myself is bothering me. ....