Exhaustion..
I'm now at an internet cafe along Stamford Road, the one Jason used to work at. And it brings back memories of us hanging out with a friend of his, gallivanting and wasting time away yakking about useless crap. I miss those reckless days where I hardly have a care in the world. (Yet, at the same time, I deeply regret not having spent those times in a more constructive manner. Contradictions of life...sigh)
Nowadays, I just feel tired. Tired of having to deal with responsibilities which I sometimes see no point of completing. I don't mind the hard work, but I feel jaded not being able to see the results I'd like to see. It's difficult to see the big picture of things, when the daily minute demands of the work weigh one down heavily. The need to deal with all the admin and coordinating work don't seem to come together as a whole. Don't seem to make sense in the general puzzle, which I'm still trying to figure out.
What is the meaning of all this? Are my aims necessarily what the kids need?
At the end of the day, I might never actually find out all the answers. But I do know that I just want to be happy. To feel happier each day. Some of my closest friends, whom I trust wholeheartedly don't seem to be making things any better. Perhaps it is befitting to let it all go. To just throw the emotional baggage aside. Out of sight, out of mind.
Nowadays, I just feel tired. Tired of having to deal with responsibilities which I sometimes see no point of completing. I don't mind the hard work, but I feel jaded not being able to see the results I'd like to see. It's difficult to see the big picture of things, when the daily minute demands of the work weigh one down heavily. The need to deal with all the admin and coordinating work don't seem to come together as a whole. Don't seem to make sense in the general puzzle, which I'm still trying to figure out.
What is the meaning of all this? Are my aims necessarily what the kids need?
At the end of the day, I might never actually find out all the answers. But I do know that I just want to be happy. To feel happier each day. Some of my closest friends, whom I trust wholeheartedly don't seem to be making things any better. Perhaps it is befitting to let it all go. To just throw the emotional baggage aside. Out of sight, out of mind.