Tension.
So, we've agreed upon the current arrangement that everything should be as it is, and to some extent, I could live with that. Yet, at the same time, I could foresee how emotionally undone I'd end up. It isn't a "bad" thing, not that the word could mean anything substantial at all, but it definitely isn't a state I want to be in extensively. Already, I could feel the awkwardness, as we sat for lunch together, often falling into lapses of beating silence. I'm not too sure if I could live with that, not knowing what to say, or having to constantly struggle to come up with something to ease the tension. And against everything, there's the mutual discreet consensus that we both had a great time, so I'm not too sure what to make of that in our wavering companionship. Frankly speaking, I don't think I can tackle these entangled balls of delicate yarn anymore. It's time I snip them up into tiny pieces and throw them around like christmas confetti, and enjoy those colours for the last time.