(no subject)
Yesterday was a good day. I got all the shit I needed to do done, and I got to meet the lab tech for the animals at TAFE, and meet the fat rats! (they were lab rats testing something for heart disease, and instead of being euthenaesed have come to live at TAFE) They are so cute! I also got a free haircut, which looks very nice, if I do say so myself.
I felt like a phoney though when I saw Dannii when I was dolled up a bit...I don't know, it's like I feel the need to keep the dykey side and the feminine side of me separate, and ne'er the twain shall meet. It's not working for me. I can't keep trying to put different aspects of myself to the side when determining my identity, whatever that may actually be. All I keep doing is showing myself how confused I am. I hope one day I can look back at this confusion and laugh at myself, and how young and naive I have been. Unfortunately, for now all I have to look forward to is further confusion, which hopefully resolves itself. If it doesn't, I at least hope my loneliness will. I'm sick of living with it, cloaking myself in solitude instead of getting out and meeting people.
Today I got a present for a friend from my work (at a discount - a cop out, I know, but I'm poor, dammit!) that was an accidental success. Baby showers creep me out a bit. I mean, I want kids sometime, but being in a room full of clucky women scares the bejeesus out of me. I guess I'm not initiated into that female clique.
I felt like a phoney though when I saw Dannii when I was dolled up a bit...I don't know, it's like I feel the need to keep the dykey side and the feminine side of me separate, and ne'er the twain shall meet. It's not working for me. I can't keep trying to put different aspects of myself to the side when determining my identity, whatever that may actually be. All I keep doing is showing myself how confused I am. I hope one day I can look back at this confusion and laugh at myself, and how young and naive I have been. Unfortunately, for now all I have to look forward to is further confusion, which hopefully resolves itself. If it doesn't, I at least hope my loneliness will. I'm sick of living with it, cloaking myself in solitude instead of getting out and meeting people.
Today I got a present for a friend from my work (at a discount - a cop out, I know, but I'm poor, dammit!) that was an accidental success. Baby showers creep me out a bit. I mean, I want kids sometime, but being in a room full of clucky women scares the bejeesus out of me. I guess I'm not initiated into that female clique.