Dashboard is my rock out
I am hurting deep inside. I feel like light can shine right through me. I am so alone and yet so surrounded. Is there anything I can do. Is there anything I can say to help this situation? Come to me and I will welcome you with open arms. I love you like flowers love the sun and rain. I miss the days where things were fine. I miss the times that our fun was clean. I'm here to pick you up when you fall. So here's my hand. Here are my kind words. Here is my life. Take it. Take it all. As long as you know that all of this is real. If anything were to have happened to you I would have blamed myself. I would have wanted to be with you to the very end. I want to be there when you are doing what the doctors have been saying you should have done a long time ago. I want to be there to tell you that I'll always be there. I want to see you as you fade away from me. I never want it to ever happen, but I can't live in this fantasy any longer. I can't do it. I can't pretend that everything is okay when it isn't. I don't ever want to say that you'll die before me. I don't ever want to cry over you. I will though. I will when the time comes. Know this, its not the time. You know its not the time. Don't play god with your life. Don't go back to doing what you did before. I love you, he loves you, mom loves you, dad loves you. We don't want to pick you off some stranger's floor. I would die inside. I do everytime something bad happens to you. I die a little bit every time. Its killing me to see you in so much pain. Not to know the reason for it all. Not to know the reason for you to go back to your little black hole. Don't be angry for me caring so much. You must expect it by now, just like I expect it from you.