(no subject)

[druid_child]

Hi,
Today's my day off. I hate having to come to this stupid internet cafe where nothing works. I hate that, after a week, there's still nothing in my inbox. Thanks to all my wonderful friends. I hate that neither of my parents bothered to call. I hate that there's some stupid music playing on this computer. I hate that I have no sneakers and no "work shoes." I hate that Corey couldn't find it in him to e-mail me. I hate that that matters to me. I hate the beaches here that aren't real beaches and the fact that this hotel has no internet and no international calling that isn't expensive.
Most of all, I hate that Kevin died.
I hate that I found out through an e-mail.
I hate that it's been almost a week since that e-mail was sent.
I hate that I have no mailing address.
I hate that I told him I'd call, yet I couldn't.
There's so so much hate right here.
I wish I could've been a better friend, a better lover and a better companion.
I regret every single stupid thing we fought over and all the times I didn't bother to say how I felt. And that he was alone and unhappy.

I hate
that I'm crying
in a stupid internet cafe