Update on my life..
So here I am at Salem State in between classes. Did I mention I hate it at this school? Yeah, since day one I have been saying it and since then it has seemed to just get worse..
For anyone who isn't aware, Mark and I broke up. It was his decision and I had a bit of warning with him telling me one thing and saying he still wanted to be with me etc. etc. and then it ended up not being the reason, basically the last 6 weeks of our relationship means nothing, but don't worry anyone, it has been about five days and Mark already has a new leading lady. Cute huh? It's weird though. I thought I would be much worse off. Don't get me wrong though, he is a major jerk and what he is doing is wrong already basically being with this new girl, but from just being in a relationship with him, I know he isn't ready to be in one. I'm letting him make his own mistakes. I know I did nothing wrong. I was always good to him and he admits he messed up. So right now we aren't really seeing much of each other. We have a class together and I see him around school, but nothing else. I deleted him out of my phone so I don't even think to call or text him cause he needs his space right now to "let the dust settle" as he said. I deleted him as my facebook friend for now so that I can't see what the girl writes on his wall or anything. And they aren't really "together" just around each other a lot and I know they like each other. Knowing he lied so much and did that I think is what really makes me not want to be with him. I can honestly say that I just want to move on and see what else is out there for me. If I am meant to be with him I will and if I am meant to be with someone else I will. Basically, I don't hate him. I feel like I should be more mad at him, but I'm not. He was an awful boyfriend, which I can say I think could be the time in our lives that we came together. Right after he had been treated really bad by two other he people he cared about, I really believe he got scared with me. Which is fine. I am really okay. I do not and never will hate Mark. I want to be his friend. There is no reason to throw away 7 years of him being my best friend. I know he is good at that. There is a part of me that will always have that little love for him, the whole first love thing, but I know that the best thing for me is to move on, so I am. I wil love him forever as my best friend. And with some time I know everything will be okay. And I know people don't like what Mark did to me, and are mad at what he did. And believe me, this is a rough idea of what he did and lied about cause there is a lot more. And I understand if people are a little mad and upset with what he did, but I think people that really know him are more disappointed. I just want everyone to know I do not hate him and I don't want to be mad at him. Right now I do need support from whatever friends want to be there for me, and so far it was been great. And I am so grateful for that. He has new friends and this girl so I think he is more okay, but he knows he did something wrong and I hope he learns from it so he can be happy in the future. Enough about Mark...
I will be frequently visiting people at school because being around Peabody has made me go crazy. I am thinking of transerfering to somewhere else. I honestly hate Salem with a passion. So if anyone wants me around their school let me know! I want to visit everyone all the time.
Last big thing I guess is...I am getting a puppy. Ok, it is not official, but my mom called yesterday about this one in Rhode Island. A litter was just born and they are four weeks old and I might be going to buy one! I'm so excited. The kind i want is so cute and little. I fell in love with him. So if I get him and anyone wants to meet him let me know and I'll make sure everyone gets to see the little guy.
So this is long enough. I miss everyone and I am sorry I haven't gotten to see anyone much. I hope everyone understands that I have had a lot going on and I probably would not have been much fun to be around, but I am really okay. And give any single guys my number ;) haha
If you read this whole thing you are a saint.
Peace and looooove
For anyone who isn't aware, Mark and I broke up. It was his decision and I had a bit of warning with him telling me one thing and saying he still wanted to be with me etc. etc. and then it ended up not being the reason, basically the last 6 weeks of our relationship means nothing, but don't worry anyone, it has been about five days and Mark already has a new leading lady. Cute huh? It's weird though. I thought I would be much worse off. Don't get me wrong though, he is a major jerk and what he is doing is wrong already basically being with this new girl, but from just being in a relationship with him, I know he isn't ready to be in one. I'm letting him make his own mistakes. I know I did nothing wrong. I was always good to him and he admits he messed up. So right now we aren't really seeing much of each other. We have a class together and I see him around school, but nothing else. I deleted him out of my phone so I don't even think to call or text him cause he needs his space right now to "let the dust settle" as he said. I deleted him as my facebook friend for now so that I can't see what the girl writes on his wall or anything. And they aren't really "together" just around each other a lot and I know they like each other. Knowing he lied so much and did that I think is what really makes me not want to be with him. I can honestly say that I just want to move on and see what else is out there for me. If I am meant to be with him I will and if I am meant to be with someone else I will. Basically, I don't hate him. I feel like I should be more mad at him, but I'm not. He was an awful boyfriend, which I can say I think could be the time in our lives that we came together. Right after he had been treated really bad by two other he people he cared about, I really believe he got scared with me. Which is fine. I am really okay. I do not and never will hate Mark. I want to be his friend. There is no reason to throw away 7 years of him being my best friend. I know he is good at that. There is a part of me that will always have that little love for him, the whole first love thing, but I know that the best thing for me is to move on, so I am. I wil love him forever as my best friend. And with some time I know everything will be okay. And I know people don't like what Mark did to me, and are mad at what he did. And believe me, this is a rough idea of what he did and lied about cause there is a lot more. And I understand if people are a little mad and upset with what he did, but I think people that really know him are more disappointed. I just want everyone to know I do not hate him and I don't want to be mad at him. Right now I do need support from whatever friends want to be there for me, and so far it was been great. And I am so grateful for that. He has new friends and this girl so I think he is more okay, but he knows he did something wrong and I hope he learns from it so he can be happy in the future. Enough about Mark...
I will be frequently visiting people at school because being around Peabody has made me go crazy. I am thinking of transerfering to somewhere else. I honestly hate Salem with a passion. So if anyone wants me around their school let me know! I want to visit everyone all the time.
Last big thing I guess is...I am getting a puppy. Ok, it is not official, but my mom called yesterday about this one in Rhode Island. A litter was just born and they are four weeks old and I might be going to buy one! I'm so excited. The kind i want is so cute and little. I fell in love with him. So if I get him and anyone wants to meet him let me know and I'll make sure everyone gets to see the little guy.
So this is long enough. I miss everyone and I am sorry I haven't gotten to see anyone much. I hope everyone understands that I have had a lot going on and I probably would not have been much fun to be around, but I am really okay. And give any single guys my number ;) haha
If you read this whole thing you are a saint.
Peace and looooove