Truth That Sticks
A/N: Tag to Outsiders from Elson’s POV. Once again TPTB show us a glimpse of something provocative and then leave us room to play.
Disclaimer: By me, they are not owned.
Truth That Sticks
“Gods, monsters, sometimes we are both. Sometimes we are neither. Sometimes we are quiet and can hear them trying to get out.”
The Leader Elson after the Great Moving Day
Their boots disturbed the dust on the newly formed road and the wind carried it away. The small puffs of airborne dirt alerted him to the Lanteans’ nearness. Elson checked his clothing and smoothed away small wrinkles in the fabric. He straightened his posture and watched the bend in the road.
Elson waited for the Lanteans like he always did of late, with apprehension. It had not always been so. He used to think of them as beacons of hope for the galaxy. That was not fair. He supposed they still were because they brought knowledge, technology, and help for those in need. Yet, he could not see them as beacons anymore, but harbingers of how the times had come to harbor monsters just underneath the surface of mankind. He was living proof.
Knowing you were a monster was different than thinking you were a monster because, with knowing, you could not hide from the proof. Like the dust rising from the dry ground and announcing the arrival of the expected visitors to the village of survivors, one action had solidified his proof and it had gelled into a flare for all to see. Good or bad, he had voted his conscience with his fateful decision.
While in the mines, Sheppard had stood in the shadows talking with his people trapped on the ship. When he finished, he walked over to the remaining members of the council. “I have an idea on how to get almost everyone out, but you’re not going to like it.”
Sheppard looked him in the eyes, because he knew the seriousness and the finality of the deal he placed on the table for Elson and the others to accept. When he accepted, Elson knew exactly what he was doing and to what he was agreeing. He had not missed the use of “almost”.
Later, before Col. Sheppard had left them on their new home, Elson had seen the war within the military man due to that deal. Elson understood the battle to keep it contained, to keep it from dragging him down into a spiral of self-loathing. That was what a leader did for his people.
“For what it’s worth, you minimized casualties. There was no win-win scenario for this once the Wraith sent in reinforcements and had the Gate. I know it doesn’t help, but you made one of the hardest decisions of your life. The only one.” As he had before, Col. Sheppard looked him in the eye the entire time he spoke.
In response, Elson looked down at the rich, fertile dirt on their new world, which held such promise, and sighed, “I know, but it doesn’t really matter because I failed one group of my people, even if they were willing to sacrifice others to the Wraith.”
“Yeah.” Sheppard whispered his response.
Elson thought long and hard about remaining as leader of the council. Renni stood by him in those first days and listened to him as he went back and forth on his decision. She said that his was a role that no other should take. He had withstood a fire and led his people, right or wrong.
“Jervis and the others gave their lives for us whether they wanted to do it or not. Col. Sheppard was right: we had very few options since Jervis would not see reason. They are Wraith and they do not need to keep their promises. Why would they even want to?”
Because of Jervis, she had lost Novo and was still in mourning. Her anger at Jervis had not subsided and probably would not for awhile. Especially in this promising new place, she carried a hint of sadness and resentment.
She also had a point. For those couple of days betrayer begot betrayer begot betrayer in a line of life numbing events. In each betrayal, the truth behind their actions stuck like a cold wind blowing in dead winter-- each blast freezing a different part of his soul. Feelings were laid bare and emotions colored choices. There were no winners, only survivors, because humanity was set aside for self-preservation.
Renni was right about the Wraith, as well. They would have returned, if not this Hive then another. Their little village would have been a confirmed safe food source. The Wraith were to blame for the beginning of this mess. They set the events into motion and Elson helped to end them.
Elson stepped in front of the temporary Meeting House, head held high and back straight, and waited for the dust cloud to coalesce into Maj. Lorne. He smiled in greeting when it did.
“Elson! Good to see you. Mr. Woolsey and Col. Sheppard send their respects. We were just coming to check-up and see how things were going. If there was anything you guys needed?”
“Not so far,” Elson responded letting his wariness subside, letting the smile on his face become a little truer.
The Lanteans were not totally to blame and they had been nothing but helpful. Nevertheless, they were reminders of where Elson had to go to be a leader in these trying times. He was in charge of not only his people but the Bolarans. On this new world, it was no longer us and them. With this shift in perspective, he had grown up a little in his role. He was a different man now. The monster, pulsating just under the surface, remained squashed into temporary submission.
“Welcome, let’s step inside.” His people’s way had been tested, tried, and lost. Elson was working on its resurrection.
His conscience was not clear, but it was managed. From this tragedy, he was an older and wiser man. He hoped his people, all of his people, learned about trust and cooperation. In the days to come, they were going to need it.
He also hoped Col. Sheppard’s conscience was managed. For his own sake. And maybe, for all of their sakes.