i don't even have the words
Everything in my life that was going extremely badly and causing me untold amounts of stress keeps getting worse.
Well, the stuff I'm not posting here because I'm too lazy to set up a new filter is worse, or still bad, or I know more about it and that makes it worse, plus it isn't resolving, which is bad and means the stress will not go away, I guess.
The stuff that I have talked about here is probably about the same? I don't know. All of my problems are combining to the point that I have a hard time pulling anything apart in order to discuss it alone anymore.
Anyway, a new huge motherfucking problem cropped up, and I am really upset about that, but have become calm very quickly, not because I might not be totally fucking screwed, but as far as I can tell, because there is only so much of the time that you can be in heightened emotional states, and I am way past my limit.
My sister was so stressed last week from various things that she actually got vertigo. She couldn't drive and had to stay home sick from work. I do not have vertigo, but Sven's cousin is staying with us and I am currently holed up in our bedroom with no explanation because I couldn't deal with being upset in front of him and I needed a break from acting normal.
Normally social interaction is what helps me when I'm stressed or upset. I don't really know what to do with this except I think I'm going to lie down for a little while.
Seriously, can't even express it. Mostly due to inability to explain, but even if I could describe every single thing going on in my life I still couldn't explain properly, I would only rant and most of it would make no sense, so I'm in about the same place.
And yeah, if I were not me, and I were reading this shit, I would think I were overreacting, if you follow, but I'm not, I'm just in a bad situation with bad options and limited coping strategies.
Anyway the Leland Center is going to be renamed after my mom which is lovely and nice and passed and should have been the biggest thing going on with me this week, or fuck, even this month.
Fuck it all.
Well, the stuff I'm not posting here because I'm too lazy to set up a new filter is worse, or still bad, or I know more about it and that makes it worse, plus it isn't resolving, which is bad and means the stress will not go away, I guess.
The stuff that I have talked about here is probably about the same? I don't know. All of my problems are combining to the point that I have a hard time pulling anything apart in order to discuss it alone anymore.
Anyway, a new huge motherfucking problem cropped up, and I am really upset about that, but have become calm very quickly, not because I might not be totally fucking screwed, but as far as I can tell, because there is only so much of the time that you can be in heightened emotional states, and I am way past my limit.
My sister was so stressed last week from various things that she actually got vertigo. She couldn't drive and had to stay home sick from work. I do not have vertigo, but Sven's cousin is staying with us and I am currently holed up in our bedroom with no explanation because I couldn't deal with being upset in front of him and I needed a break from acting normal.
Normally social interaction is what helps me when I'm stressed or upset. I don't really know what to do with this except I think I'm going to lie down for a little while.
Seriously, can't even express it. Mostly due to inability to explain, but even if I could describe every single thing going on in my life I still couldn't explain properly, I would only rant and most of it would make no sense, so I'm in about the same place.
And yeah, if I were not me, and I were reading this shit, I would think I were overreacting, if you follow, but I'm not, I'm just in a bad situation with bad options and limited coping strategies.
Anyway the Leland Center is going to be renamed after my mom which is lovely and nice and passed and should have been the biggest thing going on with me this week, or fuck, even this month.
Fuck it all.