Nov 01, 2009 07:08
NO FOURTH WALL HE PROCLAIMED.
I wish I didn't need this kind of validation. I just want to be held. I want to be told I'm pretty and sweet and that nothing else matters. It doesn't really matter who tells me, as long as I truly believe it. I'm so desperate. I'm so pathetic. How I appear doesn't matter, at the end of the day I'm just a lonely lonely boy, cry cry crying. I want my life back. How much of this is really me? If you peel it all back aren't I just that confused fat kid in the red hoodie? Is she anything more than the girl who used to get chanted at about her having std's in fucking junior high. I wanted to punch Mason. Ugh. Why would you talk about her like that? Don't you have any fucking tact at all.
If I'm being honest. Which is worse? Being actually alone all the time, or being left alone by one most valuable to me, one time? My answer is wrong and right no matter what i choose.
I want to be a novelist, i want to be a poet. I want my thoughts to inspire future thinkers, but all profoundness i can offer is simply based on learned principles I've inherited through years of isolation and self abuse. Running. Jumping.
I hate JJ's breathing right now.
I saw Theresa tonight, that was great! Her and Ashley are both nice.
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