It Needs a Title..... So There
Junior year; I hear it's the hardest, I hear it's the most fun, and so far, I haven't decided for myself. It seems to have potential, and so far everything I've done has been really easy, but that doesn't mean it can't get harder. A lot harder.
Grrrrr. I'm confused. I went through the past two years of highschool thinking that college wasn't going to happen for me, that it was the last thing I wanted, so I slacked off. Now, though, I think.... well, I don't know what I think. College seems like the next natural step. It seems to me that maybe I should go. But unfortunately, with my current GPA and lack of extracurriculars, any college that will accept me will be sucky, so I plan to try harder this year, just in case. I have a 3.3. That's too low, but I don't know what I can really raise it to. Should I try for a 3.5? 3.7? Could I even bring it up to that if I tried? I don't fucking know! I never fucking wanted these pathetic little thought plaguing me, actual thoughts of *shudder* my future. I always assumed (and still really do) that I'd, you know, die. Like, some time in the next 5 years. I was thinking, like, anywhere from 15-21. But I've yet to be diagnosed with a terminal disease, and I don't smoke nearly enough to die of lung cancer by 21, and I've yet to recieve any death threats so....maybe I'll have to wait a bit longer to die. So I might as well plan as if I actually have a future.
Anyway, I'm tired of not dying.
Grrrrr. I'm confused. I went through the past two years of highschool thinking that college wasn't going to happen for me, that it was the last thing I wanted, so I slacked off. Now, though, I think.... well, I don't know what I think. College seems like the next natural step. It seems to me that maybe I should go. But unfortunately, with my current GPA and lack of extracurriculars, any college that will accept me will be sucky, so I plan to try harder this year, just in case. I have a 3.3. That's too low, but I don't know what I can really raise it to. Should I try for a 3.5? 3.7? Could I even bring it up to that if I tried? I don't fucking know! I never fucking wanted these pathetic little thought plaguing me, actual thoughts of *shudder* my future. I always assumed (and still really do) that I'd, you know, die. Like, some time in the next 5 years. I was thinking, like, anywhere from 15-21. But I've yet to be diagnosed with a terminal disease, and I don't smoke nearly enough to die of lung cancer by 21, and I've yet to recieve any death threats so....maybe I'll have to wait a bit longer to die. So I might as well plan as if I actually have a future.
Anyway, I'm tired of not dying.