[private] life, the universe, and everything
I've been trying to figure out what else I can do. What needs doing. The list...the list is too long. I'm not going to be able to do all this.
*rubs eyes*. I'm so tired its not even funny. I vaguely remember being this tired in Med School, and maybe once or twice in the falklands and iraq/iran, but never here. Never on a normal schedule. I'm not even waking up from the nightmares now. I'm just going from one to another.
But somehow I think its affecting Quatre and Kevin. They both look like they've slept as little as I have, and I know they've been tired. I've seen them some evenings half asleep over books, or cuddling together on the sofa.
I admit..I snuck a photo of the two of them curled up asleep on the sofa (sans flash, though I don't think it would wake them up) that I'm having blown up for their Christmas present. I've paid up front and left instructions for it to be delivered to Adam and Megabyte, so it will get to them, I'm sure. They're worrying me though. I would make discreet enquiries to see if there was anything that could be done to help Trowa but a) I don't know the details and b) that would probably only jeopardise him. I hope for their sakes though, that he comes back soon.
I've ordered a tree. The care home is getting a box of goodies for the nurses on the twenty fourth and that's been paid for. I still have no clue what to get Adam and Megabyte.
I left a message on Sarah Jane's voicemail to see if we can get together before this weekend. Part of me hopes she'll get back to me, part of me hates the idea.
I've got all Sammie's paperwork together in a folder, including details on her shots, surgery and the papers her previous owner gave me on her bloodline. I've also put in all the information on training her as a therapy dog I can find. She's teething, she lost a tooth today. I wonder if the tooth fairy comes for dogs? I think her teeth have been irritating as well, as she's been losing a bit of weight, and I've hardly been giving her walks. I'm afraid I've been neglecting her. Poor old girl. She doesn't deserve that.
if it wasn't for internet ordering, I'd never have been able to do all this.
All the bills are up to date, most of the admin was sorted by year but I've got rid of all the outdated folders.
I've cheated and got prewritten christmas cards that I only have to sign and address.
I'm having a box of goodies delivered to the nurses and doctors on the ward. And some cough medicine for Doctor Andrews. She'll need it some day, i'm sure *grins*. Even she can't beat sickleave forever!
I've got everyone covered, I think. I can't think. My brain feels like cotton wool.
I can't decide if I should tell Quatre and Kevin, or not. On the one side, they deserve to know in case something happens like a fit or seizure. On the other side, this could all be done and over soon, and I don't want to worry them...and if i'm brutally honest I don't want to see that look you see in families eyes if you tell them their wife or husband has cancer. The look of pity and of revulsion. The one of fear. I guess that's why its easier to hide from Adam and Megabyte too, and do things over livejournal. Or Email.
I don't want to see that in Sarah Janes eyes either. Then again, if I keep it secret and she does find out, and if it doesn't work she will she's going to be very upset with me. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.
Church....I wish I knew a priest I trusted. Maybe I an talk to a military chaplain. They understand wars better. I'll have to ask that when I call the MOD.
I should start a list. Or two. Maybe that way I can prioritise and at least get the important stuff done. Or some of it.
But i'm going to have painkillers, a nap and a cuddle with Sammie first. I've locked the drinks cupboard. I need to stay with it this week and get as much as possible done. I can do this. I can go without. Not that it will matter much, in the long run.
*rubs eyes*. I'm so tired its not even funny. I vaguely remember being this tired in Med School, and maybe once or twice in the falklands and iraq/iran, but never here. Never on a normal schedule. I'm not even waking up from the nightmares now. I'm just going from one to another.
But somehow I think its affecting Quatre and Kevin. They both look like they've slept as little as I have, and I know they've been tired. I've seen them some evenings half asleep over books, or cuddling together on the sofa.
I admit..I snuck a photo of the two of them curled up asleep on the sofa (sans flash, though I don't think it would wake them up) that I'm having blown up for their Christmas present. I've paid up front and left instructions for it to be delivered to Adam and Megabyte, so it will get to them, I'm sure. They're worrying me though. I would make discreet enquiries to see if there was anything that could be done to help Trowa but a) I don't know the details and b) that would probably only jeopardise him. I hope for their sakes though, that he comes back soon.
I've ordered a tree. The care home is getting a box of goodies for the nurses on the twenty fourth and that's been paid for. I still have no clue what to get Adam and Megabyte.
I left a message on Sarah Jane's voicemail to see if we can get together before this weekend. Part of me hopes she'll get back to me, part of me hates the idea.
I've got all Sammie's paperwork together in a folder, including details on her shots, surgery and the papers her previous owner gave me on her bloodline. I've also put in all the information on training her as a therapy dog I can find. She's teething, she lost a tooth today. I wonder if the tooth fairy comes for dogs? I think her teeth have been irritating as well, as she's been losing a bit of weight, and I've hardly been giving her walks. I'm afraid I've been neglecting her. Poor old girl. She doesn't deserve that.
if it wasn't for internet ordering, I'd never have been able to do all this.
All the bills are up to date, most of the admin was sorted by year but I've got rid of all the outdated folders.
I've cheated and got prewritten christmas cards that I only have to sign and address.
I'm having a box of goodies delivered to the nurses and doctors on the ward. And some cough medicine for Doctor Andrews. She'll need it some day, i'm sure *grins*. Even she can't beat sickleave forever!
I've got everyone covered, I think. I can't think. My brain feels like cotton wool.
I can't decide if I should tell Quatre and Kevin, or not. On the one side, they deserve to know in case something happens like a fit or seizure. On the other side, this could all be done and over soon, and I don't want to worry them...and if i'm brutally honest I don't want to see that look you see in families eyes if you tell them their wife or husband has cancer. The look of pity and of revulsion. The one of fear. I guess that's why its easier to hide from Adam and Megabyte too, and do things over livejournal. Or Email.
I don't want to see that in Sarah Janes eyes either. Then again, if I keep it secret and she does find out, and if it doesn't work she will she's going to be very upset with me. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.
Church....I wish I knew a priest I trusted. Maybe I an talk to a military chaplain. They understand wars better. I'll have to ask that when I call the MOD.
I should start a list. Or two. Maybe that way I can prioritise and at least get the important stuff done. Or some of it.
But i'm going to have painkillers, a nap and a cuddle with Sammie first. I've locked the drinks cupboard. I need to stay with it this week and get as much as possible done. I can do this. I can go without. Not that it will matter much, in the long run.