New York 39/??: Slightly misshapen - Giles/Xander
New York
by Dr Squidlove
drsquidlove@@@livejournal.com
Summary: Xander is thirty-seven. Divorced. Two kids. 4000 miles from Sunnydale and his Hellmouth childhood. Also, straight. Only someone forgot to tell Giles. In fact... where the hell is Giles?
Rated R for sex.
Thanks to gloriana and antennapedia for incredibly helpful mid-construction betas, and lunabee for early through middle chapters, and to huzzlewhat for final checking on the run. And gloriana again for major late-construction revisions.
The Buffy universe is the property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Borrowed with all due love and respect.
Please ask before archiving.
Feedback ohgodyesplease.
Full headers are on chapter one.
Wordcount this part: 3601
Previously, in chapter 38:
In the giant cavern under Manhattan, while Queen Rat got on with the loosening of the souls, Xander stressed. Riley ambled over to remind Xander that he's more than a footnote to Buffy's life, which made Xander feel good until it made him feel guilty for leaving again and then he felt bad. There was a nice chat with Buffy, who told Xander it was okay to escape the Hellmouth, and that she was happy to leave the guilt for Willow's death on Willow. Moment of calm came to an abrupt end when Giles realised Queen Rat was on to stage two, which meant Mary's soul was already slipping its tethers into the ether. Xander didn't take this well. Blah, blah, attack, rat-killings, vamp-killings, Giles found Queen Rat and drained her blood and gave it to Xander just as Giles was being abducted. Xander was forced to leave Giles behind and start for the surface.
New York
chapter 39: Slightly misshapen
by Dr Squidlove
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Xander ran. Musty air scraped his throat, made his chest hurt. Sweat stung his eyes, soaked his back. Concrete filled his boots, dragging his feet. Dizzy. There were soldiers running either side of him, neither of them Riley. He didn't know these guys. He ran.
There was something in his hand, the shape of it stamping into his fist. It was going to fix Mary. That's what Giles said.
Xander gulped his next breath. He was running the wrong way. He had to stop, turn around, but his concrete boots carried him on. Step, step, step.
They reached the ladder and Xander didn't know what to do. The whole ladder concept had evaporated from his brain. But before he could turn his head to ask, he was being bundled up it, passed up like a package into the arms of more soldiers, blinded by spotlights, and suddenly he realised what was going on.
"No! I have to get back!" Xander twisted and punched but soldiers had his wrists and legs and an arm wrapped around his waist, hauling him back, away from the dark pit where he'd left everyone behind. "Giles is down there!"
The soldiers were yelling Mr Harris and then his body slammed against a truck and stars flashed in his head as the wind exploded out of him but he kept his hand tight.
Xander was trying to remember where he was as he was pushed inside something. The truck.
"Do you have it, sir? Mr Harris?" Xander didn't know what he meant, until fingers scrabbled at his fist, peeling him open, taking- "No! I have to get it to Mary!" Giles had thrown it to him just before he got pulled-
"I've got it, sir. I'll prepare it for her. I'm not taking it away." The soldier banged a fist on the roof over his head and yelled to go and Xander was thrown back in his seat. He still didn't have his breath back.
He grabbed the sleeve of the guy's pixelated camouflage jacket, finally getting a look at the... kid - Jesus, did the kid even shave, yet? - "I have to go back. Giles is-"
"The others have gone after him. Our orders are to get you and the antidote to the hospital."
Xander ended up in his lap as they handbrake-turned through an intersection. "I can't leave them. They're down there for me. Giles was-"
"And what are you going to do?"
That stopped him. What the hell could he do, except not be running away?
"Your Ms Summers is down there, along with a dozen soldiers and Colonel Finn. They'll get him up and kill a few more hostiles while they do it. The Colonel's kind of a legend. For the few people who know about our company, anyway. No one's better at this than the Colonel."
"Buffy is." Buffy was... He'd had just a glimpse of her launching in as she yelled for him to go. None of the old Jet Li action, just clean, swift extermination, one after another.
"Then the hostiles are about to learn a whole new way to cry for their mommies. I'm a medic. Name's Pennebaker."
"Pennebaker."
"That's right. Ms Summers and Colonel Finn and the best squad in the military are going to go get your friend, and you and I are going to go fix up your wife, all right?"
"Ex-wife." Xander watched Pennebaker mess around with vials, hands steady even as the car wound through traffic. It was sort of hypnotic, so he let himself be hypnotised. He left them behind. It didn't matter that Buffy had told him to run, or that there was nothing he could do except be another person that needed to be rescued. Giles was down there, and Xander wasn't. Giles would never have left Xander.
Pennebaker shook his vial with a satisfied nod. "You and your ex-wife got kids, sir?"
Sir. Xander was 'sir.' "Two girls."
"Then how about you and I go take care of their mom?"
Xander blew out a breath. "You're good at this."
"My team's down there, too, sir, but this is my job right now."
This was their job. Xander grabbed onto that with both hands as he slowly got his panting under control. Buffy's job was getting Giles back, and she'd do it. His job was getting to Mary. "You got kids?" It seemed like a ridiculous question for a guy who looked like he was looking forward to prom, but it was distraction.
"Working on it."
"Got a basement?"
"No...?"
"Start building it now."
One for his girls, one for Giles.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Xander led the way out of the elevator, Pennebaker jogging after him. Xander's legs wobbled from all that running, and probably from the fighting, and definitely from not knowing what the hell was happening to Giles, but he had to get to Mary, and then he had to get back there. They hadn't heard anything thanks to the total lack of underground reception, and Xander couldn't see any way that was good news. If they were out and safe, there wouldn't be any trouble with reception.
He strode down the corridor to Mary's room. Wow. Everyone was there. Xander stopped on the threshold.
"Xander." Rikuto saw him first, standing up with that look that he reserved for the guy who got his twenty year-old daughter pregnant.
Rick stood as well, looking scarier than Xander remembered him being. "Where have you been?"
"Nobody will talk to us," said Mary's mom. "What's wrong with Mariko?"
He didn't answer. He had to figure out how to get them all out of the room, so Pennebaker could-
"Forgive me folks, but could we have the room a moment?" Pennebaker shoved past Xander to get in, not bothered by all the staring.
Everyone looked from Pennebaker and his combat uniform to Xander. "He's a doctor," Xander explained.
"Medic," said Pennebaker.
Sue looked more worried. "He's not her doctor."
"He's a special doctor. He can help."
Rick hadn't moved. "Are you going to tell us what's going on, Xander?"
Pennebaker dropped his pack on the bed's table. "Mrs Harris was exposed to a poisonous agent. She and quite a few others are lucky Xander recognised the symptoms. I'm afraid that's all we can tell you."
"You'll tell us a hell of a lot more than that."
"Sorry, sir, but it's classified."
"Classified my ass."
"This is my daughter," added Rikuto.
"I know you're concerned, but my only concern right now is Mrs Harris. I'll need you to clear the room so I can take care of her."
Rick shifted into Pennebaker's way, and it gave Xander his first good look at Mary, and he remembered why he was here. "We're wasting time."
"You do not get a say here," snapped Rikuto, and Xander shut his mouth, face burning.
Xander had to swallow a couple of times before he could answer. "If you don't think I care about her-"
"Then you tell us what's going on here, Xander," snapped Rick. "What have you dragged my sister into?"
"I didn't do this!" Right now Xander didn't know or care who was going to have to find out the world was a great human vending machine, but he wasn't cracking that can of demonic worms while Giles was somewhere under their feet getting eaten.
Pennebaker tilted his chin, gave him the military voice. "Xander, we have a job to do."
Xander shut his mouth and took a long breath through his nose. Everyone was hurling angry words except Mich, looking torn in the corner. "Mich..." Xander gave her his best begging face.
"Xander-" Rikuto started again.
"Where's Giles?" asked Mich.
Xander's stomach rolled, and he ran a hand through his hair. 'Please," he mouthed to her.
After a second, she stepped forward. "C'mon, Dad." Mich took his elbow. Rikuto shook her off and she pulled him again. "Come on, Dad. We'll argue about this when she's fixed."
She herded everyone out of the room, and Xander promised himself he'd spend the rest of his life thanking her for it.
Pennebaker had pulled up the bedside table and was already messing around with his vials. He filled a syringe from one and pressed the needle in the centre of her tattoo, muttering something under his breath. Xander wondered if he was talking himself through the steps or it they were magical words.
Xander stared around the room, half-expecting to see a wisp of soul floating in a corner. Was she still here, somewhere? He didn't know what he was supposed to be doing, so he edged around to the other side of the bed from Pennebaker and took her hand.
In all his back-to-scooby-days sentimentality, he'd forgotten this. Watching over Willow in her coma. Dawn knocked unconscious by Faith. Tara's mind wiped. Giles' blank look in the months after he was tortured.
He didn't want to do it anymore. He didn't want to go back. And he didn't want to admit it to Giles.
"I've done all I can." Pennebaker's voice startled Xander.
She hadn't moved. Xander squeezed her hand to check, but it stayed limp. "You mean you can't fix her?"
"I mean it's going to take a while to work. It's not magic." Maybe that was a joke, but Pennebaker was stone-faced. "We need to wait, sir."
She didn't look any different, and Xander wasn't getting that rush of relief he'd been waiting for.
Pennebaker opened the door and Xander was pushed aside as the family poured in.
Rick looked at Mary for a long second, and then at Pennebaker. "Well?"
"Give it some time, sir."
Rick glared at Xander.
Nothing Xander could do here, then. That was good. He needed to be somewhere else. Five steps into the corridor he found Pennebaker blocking his way. Xander gave him a push. "Let's go."
"My orders are to keep you here."
"Yeah, you're a funny man."
Pennebaker didn't smile.
When he was fifteen, Xander could go into all sorts of places he didn't want, into haunted houses and vampire lairs; now he was a grown man and he was getting babysat while Giles was fighting for him in hell. No way. "You may have signed up to take orders, but I didn't." He tried to shove past, but Pennebaker was a brick wall.
"I did, and I've been ordered to keep you here."
Xander jabbed his chest. "And in which universe are you the boss of me?"
"Right now, this one."
"Xander?" Mich had come to the doorway, looking as worried as ever. "Where's Giles?"
Xander glared at Pennebaker. "I have to go."
"The team will get him back, sir."
"Xander?" Mich said again.
"In how many pieces?" He couldn't just sit here, useless as ever. It didn't matter that he wasn't the vital link to saving Giles. He couldn't sit here, pretending it wasn't his problem all over again. They'd left Giles stranded and forgotten for sixteen years while it wasn't his problem. This time nothing was going to hold Xander back, not even some football jock in desert camos.
Pennebaker was saying something as Xander feinted left and dodged past but Xander didn't hear and didn't care. He had to get to Giles. He shook off the hand that grabbed for him and dodged through a bunch of nurses to the elevator, smacking the button like Kate at a stop light, wondering how long it took an elevator to get up two floors. Was it broken? Maybe the fire escape... The doors opened and Xander jumped in, hitting the close button just as a fat military boot landed between the doors. Xander growled.
Pennebaker put his hands out like he was bracing the doors open, no idea how much desperation he was messing with.
"Get the hell out of my way!"
"Harris, he's here!"
"I swear I'll-"
"He's here, sir!"
Here. Giles?
Pennebaker jerked his thumb and Xander almost fell over him scrambling out of the elevator. There was Giles, no glasses, hobbling out of the next elevator on Buffy's arm. Filthy but alive and awake and smiling.
Xander skidded to a halt two feet away, overwhelmed. Giles was fine. And here. "Hey."
"Hello."
"You're in one piece."
"Slightly misshapen, but all limbs accounted for."
Finally Xander broke the paralysis and threw his arms around him, not caring how his shoulder protested. Solid, one-piece Giles, still strong enough to squeeze the stuffing out of Xander. "You smell like monster guts," Xander whispered.
Giles squeezed harder, one arm around Xander's back, chest solid. "I am in dire need of a shower."
As Xander let go he noticed a red handkerchief in Giles' hand, and then blood across his temple. "You're bleeding!"
Giles caught Xander's reaching hand. "Just a scratch. Never even lost consciousness."
The twinkle in his eye did way more to calm Xander than the cliche, but he still wanted to drag Giles off into a private room and check him properly, interrogate him about everything that had happened after Xander ran out of there. Kiss him senseless for knowing about the tattoo and getting Buffy here and going down there and then smack him senseless for throwing the vial at Xander even as he was being tackled by something that wanted to eat him. Xander wanted to hug him again.
More than a hug. Xander wanted to get him alone, peel all these clothes back, see what other injuries Giles was hiding. Would the bathroom be empty at this hour? Maybe not. Maybe Xander didn't care. Giles made a pained sound as Xander's hand squeezed the wrong part. Maybe Xander could wait until Giles got checked out by a doctor.
"How's Mary?"
"The medic said it would be-"
"Xander!" Mich called. "She's awake!"
Xander whipped around. "Already?"
"She's asking for you."
Awake and talking. Thank god. No, thank Giles. Xander looked back at Giles, torn, but Giles was watching Mich, peering a little without his glasses, looking thoughtful. Xander wasn't done with the reunion. He needed more than five seconds in a crowded corridor, but at least he'd seen him now. Xander needed to see Mary was okay, and then he could have time with Giles, and after Giles he'd get the girls, and then he'd start cleaning up the mess.
There'd be time. He grabbed Giles' hand. "Thank you."
Giles dipped his head like it was nothing. "You should, should go."
Xander hadn't had a chance to even notice Buffy standing beside Giles. He didn't let go of Giles' hand as he gave her an awkward one-armed hug. "Thank you."
"Anytime, Xand."
He hoped the rest was obvious, or at least enough for now, as he hurried to Mary's room. He stopped in the doorway, not sure how he fit in between the looming pride of Tanakas, but Mary saw him and smiled. "Xander."
He squeezed through, a matching grin on his own face. She was pale and looked like she didn't have the energy to lift her head off the pillow, but her eyes were open and she was smiling, as beautiful as ever. The relief was choking him.
"You're all right?" she croaked. "Look at you."
He had to swallow a couple of times. "A few bumps. Nothing to get yourself in hospital about." He brushed her hair off her forehead, let his fingers linger for a second on the warm skin.
"Xander, I thought he was going to kill you. I thought you were dead."
"Nah. He was just playing. Cat with a mouse."
"Cats eat mice."
"But they play with them first." It was just the sort of light-hearted post-battle banter he used to think of as his own special superpower.
"Who was he?" asked Rick. "Friend of yours?"
Mary's smile faded, and Xander didn't take his eyes off her as he said, "My best friend. You can tell by the way he rearranged my face."
"You're going to make a joke of this?"
Xander pushed down his hackles, with effort. Rick only knew that his sister was in hospital. And he was speaking for all of them, judging by the way the family was staring at him.
Except Mary. "Rick..." She faded off, let that sit there.
"I've never seen him before," said Xander, meeting his eyes this time. "I'm not the reason why he attacked Mary." He turned back to find Mary trying to read him, like she didn't believe him, either.
Rikuto stepped forward, on the other side of the bed, eyes sharp like knives. "That is not good enough."
Xander didn't know what was going to happen now, but if there were going to be any true confessions they weren't happening here, in front of everyone, five minutes after Mary woke up from a coma. He kept his attention on her. "I'm glad you're okay."
"You look here-"
"Leave it, Dad." Mich didn't sound much happier than the rest of them. "It can wait."
"Thank you," Xander said.
"I don't believe you either. But I don't want to do this right now."
"Okay." That made two of them. Xander turned to Mary, who was kind of cowering in her bed. "Okay." She needed her family now, and it wasn't like Xander didn't have someone else to be with. "I've got stuff to take care of. I'll stop back with the girls after school."
She smiled. "I'm not going anywhere."
He kissed her forehead, pressed his cheek there a moment and then got out, so relieved to escape the Siberian winter it took a second to realise Giles wasn't waiting for him. Xander looked around, headed up to the corner to see if he was just staying out of the way. Nothing.
Perez was still by Mary's door, so Xander doubled back. "Have you seen Giles?"
"Yes, sir. He headed out with Ms Summers. Sounded like they were headed home."
Already? "Didn't they need to X-ray him, or something? Glue on a couple of band-aids?"
"Sergeant Pennebaker checked him over. Sounded like bruising, superficial stuff."
"Yeah, he had the hell superficially beaten out of him." He couldn't have waited? Xander checked his phone. He didn't have time to chase Giles home. The girls got out of school soon. "And Riley?"
"Colonel's still back on the scene."
Yeah, okay. That made sense. But Xander was left hanging in a hospital, with half an hour and no one who needed him and now his legs were getting watery. It was hard work just standing up straight. Xander wanted to sit down. Lie down. Eat: damn, he hadn't eaten lunch or breakfast and suddenly his stomach was aching for food. Only one thing mattered more.
Xander wandered down the corridor, past rooms filled with white beds and awkwardly milling visitors until he found a quiet corner. It was the first time he'd noticed his shoes squeaking on the floor, the antiseptic smell. All the other people in here, each of them with their own private monster stories.
Giles picked up on the first ring. "Xander. How is she?"
"She's good. Not cartwheeling yet, but she's definitely Mary."
"That's good."
He could hear traffic in the background, a car door slam.
"You got out of here fast." Xander hoped he didn't sound too accusing.
"We didn't want to be in the way, and we thought it might be best to give Mary's family a wide berth."
Great. He had to be sensible about this. "They've got some questions."
"I imagine so."
Xander toed the hospital-white lino with his shoe. "But you're okay?"
"I'm fine."
"I wish I could see that for myself."
"I really am fine."
That was only half what Xander meant. "Is Buffy with you?"
"Do you want to talk to her?"
Yes, but not yet. He wanted to talk to Giles. He wanted to wrap his arms around Giles. "Sure." Buffy had come all this way for him, saved Mary, saved Giles, and he'd given her five minutes in the cavern.
There was a pause and a couple of clunks, and then Buffy's voice, bright and cheery. "Hey, Xander."
"Is Giles fine?"
"Yeah. Nothing a little Xander-time can't take care of."
That lifted some of the weight, even if it wasn't the same as mapping the bruises with his hands. "I didn't get a chance to talk to you again."
"Giles figured you'd be tied up a while, so we skedaddled. Are you going to stop by tonight?"
"Yeah." Shit. "No. I've got the girls." Shit, shit. Xander needed to see Giles. This wasn't going to feel like it was over until he'd crawled into bed beside him, but there was no way he wasn't having the girls with him tonight.
"Oh, yeah, duh. I have to head home in the morning, so..."
So that was that. "Thanks, Buff. I mean, that's not really big enough, but-"
"Of course it is. You just take care of your family. And take care of Giles."
Xander nodded. Maybe Buffy would come back to visit, now Giles was here.
"Tell Giles I'll call tonight, okay?"
"I will."
"And maybe... Maybe I'll call you sometime."
He felt her smile down the phone, and it made him feel like he'd done something special. "I'd like that," she said.
They said goodbye and Xander closed his phone and checked the time. There was time for one more call. Xander scrolled down, and this time he didn't need to hesitate. "Hey, Tara."
"Xander! Please tell me everything's okay!"
He slouched against the wall, feeling better than he had in days. "Yeah. Yeah, everything's okay."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
end chapter 39
Dr Squidlove appreciates feedback. Tasty, tasty feedback.
by Dr Squidlove
drsquidlove@@@livejournal.com
Summary: Xander is thirty-seven. Divorced. Two kids. 4000 miles from Sunnydale and his Hellmouth childhood. Also, straight. Only someone forgot to tell Giles. In fact... where the hell is Giles?
Rated R for sex.
Thanks to gloriana and antennapedia for incredibly helpful mid-construction betas, and lunabee for early through middle chapters, and to huzzlewhat for final checking on the run. And gloriana again for major late-construction revisions.
The Buffy universe is the property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Borrowed with all due love and respect.
Please ask before archiving.
Feedback ohgodyesplease.
Full headers are on chapter one.
Wordcount this part: 3601
Previously, in chapter 38:
In the giant cavern under Manhattan, while Queen Rat got on with the loosening of the souls, Xander stressed. Riley ambled over to remind Xander that he's more than a footnote to Buffy's life, which made Xander feel good until it made him feel guilty for leaving again and then he felt bad. There was a nice chat with Buffy, who told Xander it was okay to escape the Hellmouth, and that she was happy to leave the guilt for Willow's death on Willow. Moment of calm came to an abrupt end when Giles realised Queen Rat was on to stage two, which meant Mary's soul was already slipping its tethers into the ether. Xander didn't take this well. Blah, blah, attack, rat-killings, vamp-killings, Giles found Queen Rat and drained her blood and gave it to Xander just as Giles was being abducted. Xander was forced to leave Giles behind and start for the surface.
New York
chapter 39: Slightly misshapen
by Dr Squidlove
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Xander ran. Musty air scraped his throat, made his chest hurt. Sweat stung his eyes, soaked his back. Concrete filled his boots, dragging his feet. Dizzy. There were soldiers running either side of him, neither of them Riley. He didn't know these guys. He ran.
There was something in his hand, the shape of it stamping into his fist. It was going to fix Mary. That's what Giles said.
Xander gulped his next breath. He was running the wrong way. He had to stop, turn around, but his concrete boots carried him on. Step, step, step.
They reached the ladder and Xander didn't know what to do. The whole ladder concept had evaporated from his brain. But before he could turn his head to ask, he was being bundled up it, passed up like a package into the arms of more soldiers, blinded by spotlights, and suddenly he realised what was going on.
"No! I have to get back!" Xander twisted and punched but soldiers had his wrists and legs and an arm wrapped around his waist, hauling him back, away from the dark pit where he'd left everyone behind. "Giles is down there!"
The soldiers were yelling Mr Harris and then his body slammed against a truck and stars flashed in his head as the wind exploded out of him but he kept his hand tight.
Xander was trying to remember where he was as he was pushed inside something. The truck.
"Do you have it, sir? Mr Harris?" Xander didn't know what he meant, until fingers scrabbled at his fist, peeling him open, taking- "No! I have to get it to Mary!" Giles had thrown it to him just before he got pulled-
"I've got it, sir. I'll prepare it for her. I'm not taking it away." The soldier banged a fist on the roof over his head and yelled to go and Xander was thrown back in his seat. He still didn't have his breath back.
He grabbed the sleeve of the guy's pixelated camouflage jacket, finally getting a look at the... kid - Jesus, did the kid even shave, yet? - "I have to go back. Giles is-"
"The others have gone after him. Our orders are to get you and the antidote to the hospital."
Xander ended up in his lap as they handbrake-turned through an intersection. "I can't leave them. They're down there for me. Giles was-"
"And what are you going to do?"
That stopped him. What the hell could he do, except not be running away?
"Your Ms Summers is down there, along with a dozen soldiers and Colonel Finn. They'll get him up and kill a few more hostiles while they do it. The Colonel's kind of a legend. For the few people who know about our company, anyway. No one's better at this than the Colonel."
"Buffy is." Buffy was... He'd had just a glimpse of her launching in as she yelled for him to go. None of the old Jet Li action, just clean, swift extermination, one after another.
"Then the hostiles are about to learn a whole new way to cry for their mommies. I'm a medic. Name's Pennebaker."
"Pennebaker."
"That's right. Ms Summers and Colonel Finn and the best squad in the military are going to go get your friend, and you and I are going to go fix up your wife, all right?"
"Ex-wife." Xander watched Pennebaker mess around with vials, hands steady even as the car wound through traffic. It was sort of hypnotic, so he let himself be hypnotised. He left them behind. It didn't matter that Buffy had told him to run, or that there was nothing he could do except be another person that needed to be rescued. Giles was down there, and Xander wasn't. Giles would never have left Xander.
Pennebaker shook his vial with a satisfied nod. "You and your ex-wife got kids, sir?"
Sir. Xander was 'sir.' "Two girls."
"Then how about you and I go take care of their mom?"
Xander blew out a breath. "You're good at this."
"My team's down there, too, sir, but this is my job right now."
This was their job. Xander grabbed onto that with both hands as he slowly got his panting under control. Buffy's job was getting Giles back, and she'd do it. His job was getting to Mary. "You got kids?" It seemed like a ridiculous question for a guy who looked like he was looking forward to prom, but it was distraction.
"Working on it."
"Got a basement?"
"No...?"
"Start building it now."
One for his girls, one for Giles.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Xander led the way out of the elevator, Pennebaker jogging after him. Xander's legs wobbled from all that running, and probably from the fighting, and definitely from not knowing what the hell was happening to Giles, but he had to get to Mary, and then he had to get back there. They hadn't heard anything thanks to the total lack of underground reception, and Xander couldn't see any way that was good news. If they were out and safe, there wouldn't be any trouble with reception.
He strode down the corridor to Mary's room. Wow. Everyone was there. Xander stopped on the threshold.
"Xander." Rikuto saw him first, standing up with that look that he reserved for the guy who got his twenty year-old daughter pregnant.
Rick stood as well, looking scarier than Xander remembered him being. "Where have you been?"
"Nobody will talk to us," said Mary's mom. "What's wrong with Mariko?"
He didn't answer. He had to figure out how to get them all out of the room, so Pennebaker could-
"Forgive me folks, but could we have the room a moment?" Pennebaker shoved past Xander to get in, not bothered by all the staring.
Everyone looked from Pennebaker and his combat uniform to Xander. "He's a doctor," Xander explained.
"Medic," said Pennebaker.
Sue looked more worried. "He's not her doctor."
"He's a special doctor. He can help."
Rick hadn't moved. "Are you going to tell us what's going on, Xander?"
Pennebaker dropped his pack on the bed's table. "Mrs Harris was exposed to a poisonous agent. She and quite a few others are lucky Xander recognised the symptoms. I'm afraid that's all we can tell you."
"You'll tell us a hell of a lot more than that."
"Sorry, sir, but it's classified."
"Classified my ass."
"This is my daughter," added Rikuto.
"I know you're concerned, but my only concern right now is Mrs Harris. I'll need you to clear the room so I can take care of her."
Rick shifted into Pennebaker's way, and it gave Xander his first good look at Mary, and he remembered why he was here. "We're wasting time."
"You do not get a say here," snapped Rikuto, and Xander shut his mouth, face burning.
Xander had to swallow a couple of times before he could answer. "If you don't think I care about her-"
"Then you tell us what's going on here, Xander," snapped Rick. "What have you dragged my sister into?"
"I didn't do this!" Right now Xander didn't know or care who was going to have to find out the world was a great human vending machine, but he wasn't cracking that can of demonic worms while Giles was somewhere under their feet getting eaten.
Pennebaker tilted his chin, gave him the military voice. "Xander, we have a job to do."
Xander shut his mouth and took a long breath through his nose. Everyone was hurling angry words except Mich, looking torn in the corner. "Mich..." Xander gave her his best begging face.
"Xander-" Rikuto started again.
"Where's Giles?" asked Mich.
Xander's stomach rolled, and he ran a hand through his hair. 'Please," he mouthed to her.
After a second, she stepped forward. "C'mon, Dad." Mich took his elbow. Rikuto shook her off and she pulled him again. "Come on, Dad. We'll argue about this when she's fixed."
She herded everyone out of the room, and Xander promised himself he'd spend the rest of his life thanking her for it.
Pennebaker had pulled up the bedside table and was already messing around with his vials. He filled a syringe from one and pressed the needle in the centre of her tattoo, muttering something under his breath. Xander wondered if he was talking himself through the steps or it they were magical words.
Xander stared around the room, half-expecting to see a wisp of soul floating in a corner. Was she still here, somewhere? He didn't know what he was supposed to be doing, so he edged around to the other side of the bed from Pennebaker and took her hand.
In all his back-to-scooby-days sentimentality, he'd forgotten this. Watching over Willow in her coma. Dawn knocked unconscious by Faith. Tara's mind wiped. Giles' blank look in the months after he was tortured.
He didn't want to do it anymore. He didn't want to go back. And he didn't want to admit it to Giles.
"I've done all I can." Pennebaker's voice startled Xander.
She hadn't moved. Xander squeezed her hand to check, but it stayed limp. "You mean you can't fix her?"
"I mean it's going to take a while to work. It's not magic." Maybe that was a joke, but Pennebaker was stone-faced. "We need to wait, sir."
She didn't look any different, and Xander wasn't getting that rush of relief he'd been waiting for.
Pennebaker opened the door and Xander was pushed aside as the family poured in.
Rick looked at Mary for a long second, and then at Pennebaker. "Well?"
"Give it some time, sir."
Rick glared at Xander.
Nothing Xander could do here, then. That was good. He needed to be somewhere else. Five steps into the corridor he found Pennebaker blocking his way. Xander gave him a push. "Let's go."
"My orders are to keep you here."
"Yeah, you're a funny man."
Pennebaker didn't smile.
When he was fifteen, Xander could go into all sorts of places he didn't want, into haunted houses and vampire lairs; now he was a grown man and he was getting babysat while Giles was fighting for him in hell. No way. "You may have signed up to take orders, but I didn't." He tried to shove past, but Pennebaker was a brick wall.
"I did, and I've been ordered to keep you here."
Xander jabbed his chest. "And in which universe are you the boss of me?"
"Right now, this one."
"Xander?" Mich had come to the doorway, looking as worried as ever. "Where's Giles?"
Xander glared at Pennebaker. "I have to go."
"The team will get him back, sir."
"Xander?" Mich said again.
"In how many pieces?" He couldn't just sit here, useless as ever. It didn't matter that he wasn't the vital link to saving Giles. He couldn't sit here, pretending it wasn't his problem all over again. They'd left Giles stranded and forgotten for sixteen years while it wasn't his problem. This time nothing was going to hold Xander back, not even some football jock in desert camos.
Pennebaker was saying something as Xander feinted left and dodged past but Xander didn't hear and didn't care. He had to get to Giles. He shook off the hand that grabbed for him and dodged through a bunch of nurses to the elevator, smacking the button like Kate at a stop light, wondering how long it took an elevator to get up two floors. Was it broken? Maybe the fire escape... The doors opened and Xander jumped in, hitting the close button just as a fat military boot landed between the doors. Xander growled.
Pennebaker put his hands out like he was bracing the doors open, no idea how much desperation he was messing with.
"Get the hell out of my way!"
"Harris, he's here!"
"I swear I'll-"
"He's here, sir!"
Here. Giles?
Pennebaker jerked his thumb and Xander almost fell over him scrambling out of the elevator. There was Giles, no glasses, hobbling out of the next elevator on Buffy's arm. Filthy but alive and awake and smiling.
Xander skidded to a halt two feet away, overwhelmed. Giles was fine. And here. "Hey."
"Hello."
"You're in one piece."
"Slightly misshapen, but all limbs accounted for."
Finally Xander broke the paralysis and threw his arms around him, not caring how his shoulder protested. Solid, one-piece Giles, still strong enough to squeeze the stuffing out of Xander. "You smell like monster guts," Xander whispered.
Giles squeezed harder, one arm around Xander's back, chest solid. "I am in dire need of a shower."
As Xander let go he noticed a red handkerchief in Giles' hand, and then blood across his temple. "You're bleeding!"
Giles caught Xander's reaching hand. "Just a scratch. Never even lost consciousness."
The twinkle in his eye did way more to calm Xander than the cliche, but he still wanted to drag Giles off into a private room and check him properly, interrogate him about everything that had happened after Xander ran out of there. Kiss him senseless for knowing about the tattoo and getting Buffy here and going down there and then smack him senseless for throwing the vial at Xander even as he was being tackled by something that wanted to eat him. Xander wanted to hug him again.
More than a hug. Xander wanted to get him alone, peel all these clothes back, see what other injuries Giles was hiding. Would the bathroom be empty at this hour? Maybe not. Maybe Xander didn't care. Giles made a pained sound as Xander's hand squeezed the wrong part. Maybe Xander could wait until Giles got checked out by a doctor.
"How's Mary?"
"The medic said it would be-"
"Xander!" Mich called. "She's awake!"
Xander whipped around. "Already?"
"She's asking for you."
Awake and talking. Thank god. No, thank Giles. Xander looked back at Giles, torn, but Giles was watching Mich, peering a little without his glasses, looking thoughtful. Xander wasn't done with the reunion. He needed more than five seconds in a crowded corridor, but at least he'd seen him now. Xander needed to see Mary was okay, and then he could have time with Giles, and after Giles he'd get the girls, and then he'd start cleaning up the mess.
There'd be time. He grabbed Giles' hand. "Thank you."
Giles dipped his head like it was nothing. "You should, should go."
Xander hadn't had a chance to even notice Buffy standing beside Giles. He didn't let go of Giles' hand as he gave her an awkward one-armed hug. "Thank you."
"Anytime, Xand."
He hoped the rest was obvious, or at least enough for now, as he hurried to Mary's room. He stopped in the doorway, not sure how he fit in between the looming pride of Tanakas, but Mary saw him and smiled. "Xander."
He squeezed through, a matching grin on his own face. She was pale and looked like she didn't have the energy to lift her head off the pillow, but her eyes were open and she was smiling, as beautiful as ever. The relief was choking him.
"You're all right?" she croaked. "Look at you."
He had to swallow a couple of times. "A few bumps. Nothing to get yourself in hospital about." He brushed her hair off her forehead, let his fingers linger for a second on the warm skin.
"Xander, I thought he was going to kill you. I thought you were dead."
"Nah. He was just playing. Cat with a mouse."
"Cats eat mice."
"But they play with them first." It was just the sort of light-hearted post-battle banter he used to think of as his own special superpower.
"Who was he?" asked Rick. "Friend of yours?"
Mary's smile faded, and Xander didn't take his eyes off her as he said, "My best friend. You can tell by the way he rearranged my face."
"You're going to make a joke of this?"
Xander pushed down his hackles, with effort. Rick only knew that his sister was in hospital. And he was speaking for all of them, judging by the way the family was staring at him.
Except Mary. "Rick..." She faded off, let that sit there.
"I've never seen him before," said Xander, meeting his eyes this time. "I'm not the reason why he attacked Mary." He turned back to find Mary trying to read him, like she didn't believe him, either.
Rikuto stepped forward, on the other side of the bed, eyes sharp like knives. "That is not good enough."
Xander didn't know what was going to happen now, but if there were going to be any true confessions they weren't happening here, in front of everyone, five minutes after Mary woke up from a coma. He kept his attention on her. "I'm glad you're okay."
"You look here-"
"Leave it, Dad." Mich didn't sound much happier than the rest of them. "It can wait."
"Thank you," Xander said.
"I don't believe you either. But I don't want to do this right now."
"Okay." That made two of them. Xander turned to Mary, who was kind of cowering in her bed. "Okay." She needed her family now, and it wasn't like Xander didn't have someone else to be with. "I've got stuff to take care of. I'll stop back with the girls after school."
She smiled. "I'm not going anywhere."
He kissed her forehead, pressed his cheek there a moment and then got out, so relieved to escape the Siberian winter it took a second to realise Giles wasn't waiting for him. Xander looked around, headed up to the corner to see if he was just staying out of the way. Nothing.
Perez was still by Mary's door, so Xander doubled back. "Have you seen Giles?"
"Yes, sir. He headed out with Ms Summers. Sounded like they were headed home."
Already? "Didn't they need to X-ray him, or something? Glue on a couple of band-aids?"
"Sergeant Pennebaker checked him over. Sounded like bruising, superficial stuff."
"Yeah, he had the hell superficially beaten out of him." He couldn't have waited? Xander checked his phone. He didn't have time to chase Giles home. The girls got out of school soon. "And Riley?"
"Colonel's still back on the scene."
Yeah, okay. That made sense. But Xander was left hanging in a hospital, with half an hour and no one who needed him and now his legs were getting watery. It was hard work just standing up straight. Xander wanted to sit down. Lie down. Eat: damn, he hadn't eaten lunch or breakfast and suddenly his stomach was aching for food. Only one thing mattered more.
Xander wandered down the corridor, past rooms filled with white beds and awkwardly milling visitors until he found a quiet corner. It was the first time he'd noticed his shoes squeaking on the floor, the antiseptic smell. All the other people in here, each of them with their own private monster stories.
Giles picked up on the first ring. "Xander. How is she?"
"She's good. Not cartwheeling yet, but she's definitely Mary."
"That's good."
He could hear traffic in the background, a car door slam.
"You got out of here fast." Xander hoped he didn't sound too accusing.
"We didn't want to be in the way, and we thought it might be best to give Mary's family a wide berth."
Great. He had to be sensible about this. "They've got some questions."
"I imagine so."
Xander toed the hospital-white lino with his shoe. "But you're okay?"
"I'm fine."
"I wish I could see that for myself."
"I really am fine."
That was only half what Xander meant. "Is Buffy with you?"
"Do you want to talk to her?"
Yes, but not yet. He wanted to talk to Giles. He wanted to wrap his arms around Giles. "Sure." Buffy had come all this way for him, saved Mary, saved Giles, and he'd given her five minutes in the cavern.
There was a pause and a couple of clunks, and then Buffy's voice, bright and cheery. "Hey, Xander."
"Is Giles fine?"
"Yeah. Nothing a little Xander-time can't take care of."
That lifted some of the weight, even if it wasn't the same as mapping the bruises with his hands. "I didn't get a chance to talk to you again."
"Giles figured you'd be tied up a while, so we skedaddled. Are you going to stop by tonight?"
"Yeah." Shit. "No. I've got the girls." Shit, shit. Xander needed to see Giles. This wasn't going to feel like it was over until he'd crawled into bed beside him, but there was no way he wasn't having the girls with him tonight.
"Oh, yeah, duh. I have to head home in the morning, so..."
So that was that. "Thanks, Buff. I mean, that's not really big enough, but-"
"Of course it is. You just take care of your family. And take care of Giles."
Xander nodded. Maybe Buffy would come back to visit, now Giles was here.
"Tell Giles I'll call tonight, okay?"
"I will."
"And maybe... Maybe I'll call you sometime."
He felt her smile down the phone, and it made him feel like he'd done something special. "I'd like that," she said.
They said goodbye and Xander closed his phone and checked the time. There was time for one more call. Xander scrolled down, and this time he didn't need to hesitate. "Hey, Tara."
"Xander! Please tell me everything's okay!"
He slouched against the wall, feeling better than he had in days. "Yeah. Yeah, everything's okay."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
end chapter 39
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