Spread the ashes of the colours over this heart of mine
I want to write profound thoughts about life and death in the NICU, somehow convey how sad and also happy it is, how loud and also quiet. But I can't, and frankly am too tired to try.
So instead you are all the proud winners of a
Wearing: A brown merino V-neck sweater, jeans that might be too long for me, pale pink undies and bra.
Eating/Drinking: Trader Joe's cheese puffs (lo-fat!)
Hair: Tied back in a pony tail, starting to come out around my face.
Make-up: Ha! I spit in the face of makeup after being awake since Sunday morning at 6:30 AM.
Bag & what's in it: A number of CDs: Cosi fan tutte (the complete opera), Arcade Fire, Mozart's Coronation Mass, Beck (Guero). Neonatology book, meal cards for the hospital, calculator, palm, cell phone, wallet, lip balm, hair brush, a packet of Nutter Butters (more on that later).
Should be: Sleeping
Last website: McGill webmail.
Away message: Erm, I don't have one.
Did today: As per above, today started yesterday. So today I intubated a baby (weighing two pounds! Go me), resuscitated a meconium (reference previous entry re: the grossness of meconium) baby and almost cried (I don't usually cry, I am after all jaded by the trillion births I've now attended but I did tear up because the grandmother and aunt were crying and so happy and I blame this all on my fatigue, not on my having actual emtions as I'm far too tired for emotions). I also had a nap, went shopping, and did a number of other boring medical things.
Doing tonight: I will be consuming the afore-mentioned Nutter Butters. After that, the evening's wide open.
Listening to: Arcade Fire - Funeral.
Went to bed/woke up: Went to bed on Saturday at 11:00 PM, woke up on Sunday at 6:30 AM.
Last TV show watched: The Red Sox game was on last night in the room where we hang out on call.
Last movie seen: I am so ashamed. I want to lie, but the truth is I saw "Little Black Book'. And lo, it was truly awful.
Last person you called: A.
Last person who called you: A.
Last mail received: I'm assuming e-mail? From a fellow resident wanting to swap an ER shift.
Last mail sent: To my brother who is living in Hong Kong.
Last IM: Sorry, don't IM
I need to: Mail my tax returns.
Looking forward to: The weekend. It is my "golden weekend". This is a fetid residency concept. All it means is that you have Saturday AND Sunday off. And it only happens once a month. Golden, my ass, it's NORMAL to have weekends off.
Ate today: Again, I am ashamed. I had french toast and sausages for breakfast, ate chips for lunch prior to my nap, and have just consumed cheese puffs. I may vomit.
Last thing(s) bought: A very cute pair of Puma shoes. Not sneakers, per se, more like slipperesque yoga shoes.
Current annoyance: That residency is not yet over. Also, commuting.
So instead you are all the proud winners of a
Wearing: A brown merino V-neck sweater, jeans that might be too long for me, pale pink undies and bra.
Eating/Drinking: Trader Joe's cheese puffs (lo-fat!)
Hair: Tied back in a pony tail, starting to come out around my face.
Make-up: Ha! I spit in the face of makeup after being awake since Sunday morning at 6:30 AM.
Bag & what's in it: A number of CDs: Cosi fan tutte (the complete opera), Arcade Fire, Mozart's Coronation Mass, Beck (Guero). Neonatology book, meal cards for the hospital, calculator, palm, cell phone, wallet, lip balm, hair brush, a packet of Nutter Butters (more on that later).
Should be: Sleeping
Last website: McGill webmail.
Away message: Erm, I don't have one.
Did today: As per above, today started yesterday. So today I intubated a baby (weighing two pounds! Go me), resuscitated a meconium (reference previous entry re: the grossness of meconium) baby and almost cried (I don't usually cry, I am after all jaded by the trillion births I've now attended but I did tear up because the grandmother and aunt were crying and so happy and I blame this all on my fatigue, not on my having actual emtions as I'm far too tired for emotions). I also had a nap, went shopping, and did a number of other boring medical things.
Doing tonight: I will be consuming the afore-mentioned Nutter Butters. After that, the evening's wide open.
Listening to: Arcade Fire - Funeral.
Went to bed/woke up: Went to bed on Saturday at 11:00 PM, woke up on Sunday at 6:30 AM.
Last TV show watched: The Red Sox game was on last night in the room where we hang out on call.
Last movie seen: I am so ashamed. I want to lie, but the truth is I saw "Little Black Book'. And lo, it was truly awful.
Last person you called: A.
Last person who called you: A.
Last mail received: I'm assuming e-mail? From a fellow resident wanting to swap an ER shift.
Last mail sent: To my brother who is living in Hong Kong.
Last IM: Sorry, don't IM
I need to: Mail my tax returns.
Looking forward to: The weekend. It is my "golden weekend". This is a fetid residency concept. All it means is that you have Saturday AND Sunday off. And it only happens once a month. Golden, my ass, it's NORMAL to have weekends off.
Ate today: Again, I am ashamed. I had french toast and sausages for breakfast, ate chips for lunch prior to my nap, and have just consumed cheese puffs. I may vomit.
Last thing(s) bought: A very cute pair of Puma shoes. Not sneakers, per se, more like slipperesque yoga shoes.
Current annoyance: That residency is not yet over. Also, commuting.