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drrrkink

PART 9

Jun 25, 2011 08:32

part 9

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Drift - [1/1.5] anonymous July 8 2011, 09:34:39 UTC

It's been three weeks.

Three weeks since he's been able to sleep. Three weeks since he's been able to eat a proper meal or felt inclined to leave his apartment or even bed. Three weeks since Shizuo stopped everything.

Izaya doesn't want to think about it.

They'd been fucking on and off in the seven years since highschool, getting closer and closer until suddenly they were living together and neither had noticed. Until they weren't so lonely anymore, and they felt some strange happy heavy feeling in their chest when the other was around.

Well that last part... maybe that was just Izaya who felt it.

And maybe Shizuo is happy now. God knows his friend's and family are. And maybe it'll be for the better in the long-run. Maybe that blonde girl is better in the sack than she looks.

A wave of nausea enters Izaya's stomach, or his mind, he's not entirely sure which but it makes him get up either way.

It's been a really long time since he's gotten up, and his stomach takes this moment to make him feel like his entire being in going to cave in if he doesn't force something down his throat.
On his way to the kitchen, that's when he sees it.

Shizuo, of course, Shizuo.
With a box in his hands, taking back what's his. All the little bits of life that had wormed their way into Izaya's apartment.

Izaya gives him a look and then attempts to ignore him but Shizuo is apparently too dull to pick up on the vibes.

"Uh, I thought you were out so I just..." Shizuo looks guilty. And Izaya thinks, Good, and congratulates himself on having decided to wear pants out of his bedroom today.

His bedroom. It's not their bedroom anymore.
And thinking of this and the mess piling up in there is what causes him to say in as much nonchalance as he can pretend, "Whatever, just stay out of the bedroom and leave your key before you go."

Shizuo flushes red, and gives Izaya a sweeping look. Shirtless, messy haired, sleep deprived, wandering out of his bedroom in the middle of the day to pick at some food, and Izaya can watch the realization dawn in the other's mind but does nothing to stop it.

Shizuo grits his teeth and clenches his hand into a fist but doesn't move to punch anything just yet. Izaya can almost hear him counting to ten. He's not looking at the dark-haired man when he says, "Sure, fine, okay, I'll let you get back to your... busy day as soon as possible."

The idea of Shizuo being unhappy or uncomfortable should have made Izaya ecstatic, like it used to, but really it just makes him want to melt into the floorboards and drift away and die somewhere alone and dark. Shizuo is so close and he can't even remember what they were fighting about before all this happened, before he started throwing insults and knives, some of which are still stuck in the wall, and Shizuo punched the table in half and tried to hit Izaya before storming out and never came back.

They'd had fights, they'd thrown things and broken their fair share of everything, and they'd even stormed out but they'd always come back. In an hour, two. After they'd cooled down and the other one would always be there, and they would fuck and the next day would be easier and the day after that, and the day after that, until things smoothed themselves out.

Izaya had waited for Shizuo to come back, for it to get easier, all night. And the day after that, and the one after that.

It's been five minutes and Izaya is still standing in the kitchen, holding an uneaten apple in his hand, when he watches Shizuo reach for a little trinket on the top of a book shelf. It was first thing Shizuo had ever given him, back when they weren't so much together as not together, but they had run into each other at a fair and chased each other around, fucked in a parking lot, and when it was over Shizuo takes this stupid little thing he had won at a shooting gallery and lobs it to him. Says, "I was kind of hoping I'd run into you tonight" and Izaya would have made fun of him for blushing if he wasn't sure he was blushing too.

And watching it get shoved into Shizuo's stupid box that's when something just snaps.

Re: Drift - [1.5/1.5] anonymous July 8 2011, 09:35:28 UTC

"You can't have that" he states with this sort of dark seriousness he saves for when he's pissed.
Shizuo looks at him, almost startled to find him still there and Izaya repeats himself, "You can't have that."

Shizuo turns edging on angry, "Why? So you can burn it when I leave? No."
Things are spiraling out of control and Izaya doesn't know where all these words are coming from, "I'm not going to burn it, you asshole, it's mine, you gave it to me, I can do whatever I want with it, because it's MINE, and it's fucking important to me."

And Izaya is choking up and furious and he just wants Shizuo to leave right now or stay forever or to have this all be one big stupid dream. He needs to sit down, and he knows he's acting like a girl but he will not, will not, will not let Shizuo see him cry, because then he's lost something and he's not even sure what.
But Shizuo seems to catch on and he visibly wavers if only Izaya was looking at him.
And then he is there. In the kitchen, just next to Izaya, debating on wether or not to touch the other man who is pointedly ignoring him.

"I'm sorry..." Shizuo mumbles, and Izaya snorts, but lets him continue "I'm really... I just... I tried to hit you."

And this is where Izaya looks up, into soft, searching brown eyes.

"I tried to hit you, Izaya. I didn't even think about it, and what? I could have really hurt you, you could have died, or, or..."

And he's not sure how it happened but their arms are around each other and all over the place, they are sinking to the kitchen floor but Shizuo is still talking, "And I know you can dodge it but what if one time you don't?" and he pauses, like this is hard to say, "just go back to whoever is in your bedroom and forget about this, I mean, fuck, were we even really dating?"

Izaya gives up on not crying and big fat stupid tears are coming out of his eyes when he kisses Shizuo on the forehead, "there's nobody in my room, dumbass, he mutters to Shizuo's eyebrow, "and stop thinking I'm so weak, you know, I'm faster than you, and smarter than you, better looking," they're smiling a bit now, despite themselves and the tears, "I have more money, I'm funnier, more fashionable... basically there's no way someone like you can hurt me." Shizuo is gripping him tighter now.

"So it's okay to trust me, you know. And if you wanted to you could have called me your... boyfriend anytime."

And their foreheads are pressed together when Shizuo says, "you think it's too late to do that?"
But there is no answer because they are too busy kissing.

--
A/N; wah this is so schmoopy it's gross sorry if you face melts off or something

Re: Drift - [1.5/1.5] anonymous July 8 2011, 17:00:37 UTC

*watches my face melt off and smiles as it goes* uwahhh this made my whole day :) :) :)

Re: Drift - [1.5/1.5] anonymous July 9 2011, 01:50:50 UTC

MY HEART.

IT IS ON FIRE.

HAPPILY DANCING IN MY RIB CAGE.

<3

Re: Drift - [1.5/1.5] anonymous July 9 2011, 02:27:14 UTC

How you managed to turn that prompt into this masterpiece is simply... I don't even know. This is so beautiful and so much more that I had expected from the first few lines. That snippet you added about the trinket and the school fair... wow, you really know how to pack a punch in such small lines. I love your writing style, how it seems so casual and laid-back, and how it perfectly allowed the emotions to be highlighted.

That line, the one where Izaya says Shizuo can call him his boyfriend... wow.

I'm sorry I'm so incoherent, I really can't express how much I love this right now.

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