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drrrkink

PART 8

May 06, 2011 14:06

part 8

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You Still Have All of Me [3/?] anonymous June 22 2011, 00:29:14 UTC

Delic's movements were slow and uncertain, like he didn't want to believe this was happening. But he pulled out of the other man, trying to act like the pained hiss didn't affect him, and propped himself on his hands and knees, giving Tsugaru leeway to move, but not to run away.

Hurt again by Delic's lack of trust, Tsugaru kept his eyes down as he rolled onto his stomach, working himself completely free of the yukata, cool air wafting against the skin of his back.

Delic gasped, as Tsugaru had known he would, and both men were still and silent, one in shocked confusion and one in anxiety.

Tsugaru did not expect the tentative, almost reverent touch. Delic's fingers were heartbreakingly gentle, such a counterpoint to their sex just before, and it made Tsugaru's breath catch.

"I didn't want you to see."

"What are these from?" Delic's tone was nearly flat, pulled in too many directions by his emotions.

Tsugaru could see them in his mind, though he'd tried so hard to forget their existence. He could see the scar tissue, occasional ragged shapes where skin had torn breaking up what would otherwise be two uniform lines down the sides of his back. Two uniform lines of neatly healed piercings.

It was ugly. And the memories were painful.

"I had this boyfriend a while back. And he was adorable and sweet and everything I thought I wanted. I loved him. The closer we got, and the more he opened up to me, the more I realized that we had different…tastes. He wanted…he wanted to hurt me. During sex. A-and I thought I could… I thought I could deal with it. And I did, for a time. I learned to calm myself. To find peace within, despite…many things. But these are…" Tsugaru shuddered, and Delic's palm was warm against his shoulder blades, passing slowly back and forth between the two, soothing his nerves.

"He wanted to pierce me, and I agreed. I thought he'd start with something small, but he didn't want…tame. He gave me a corset. And I let him." Tsugaru gasped, not much caring that he was crying into the floor. He had bigger concerns. "That night, he…he was so excited, and I didn't want to hurt him, but he…he pulled too hard. And I was screaming, and it made him happy, and I-I… I never wanted that. And now I can't even look at myself without remembering."

"…what happened after?"

"I ended it." Tsugaru didn't elaborate, due to the lump that was quickly forming in his throat. It was difficult to talk around.

In a matter of seconds, Delic was draped completely over him, his face nuzzling into the back of Tsugaru's neck, and Tsugaru couldn't do it, anymore. He couldn't push everything away.

He cried into the mats beneath his cheek in gasping sobs, and Delic supported his own body enough to let Tsugaru take in deep breaths, his presence more of a comfort than a burden. He was silent until Tsugaru wound down into shudders and soft noises, and then there was only a litany of his name as Delic pressed gentle kisses against whatever skin he could reach.

"Tsugaru… I'm so sorry. I had no idea. And that's no excuse for my actions. I was so…so envious of them. That someone had seen something you kept hidden from me. That I couldn't… I wasn't thinking straight. I wasn't thinking at all. I'm sorry, Tsu. Whatever the circumstances, I shouldn't have forced myself on you like that."

Tsugaru's chuckle was dry and pained. "It wasn't that bad."

"You didn't even come. It was that bad. I'm terrible. I'm a terrible boyfriend. I'm so sorry." Delic's voice got tighter as he went on, and Tsugaru would have turned to comfort the man had he not been pinned to the floor.

"Delic, it's okay. I'm okay."

There was a gentle suck on his earlobe, and Delic cuddled further into him. "You're amazing. And I love you."

It wasn't the first time he'd said the words. Nor was it something he rarely made known. But he felt that Tsugaru needed to hear it immediately. Over and over. So he repeated it into the other man's ear, words interspersed with kisses. And when Tsugaru trembled in his arms, Delic remembered that the other man was still unsatisfied, to say the least.

"Tsugaru, I know I hurt you a lot, just now. But…would you let me make you feel good? Even if you want nothing to do with me afterward, can I do this for you?"

OP anonymous June 22 2011, 01:52:17 UTC

OMFG *cries* poor tsugaru!! oh man, shit just got real *sobs*

was the ex psyche by any chance? =__~

F5F5F5F5F5F5F5

Author!anon anonymous June 22 2011, 02:12:11 UTC

Ah, that's what I had in mind... ^^'

Re: You Still Have All of Me [3/?] anonymous June 22 2011, 02:06:54 UTC

Oh wow you already started filling it and OP loves you o____o LAWL hope I can compare.

/starting over for the third time :D

BUT NOT BECAUSE OF YOU.
EVEN THOUGH YOU WERE BULLYING ME WITH YOUR NICENESS. YOU GOOBER.

EXCITED OP. anonymous June 22 2011, 03:47:10 UTC

request is going to be filled out TWICE?! OP is so happy she cannot describe just how happy she is in words right now. \0/

:'D there's so many wonderful people in the world~

Re: You Still Have All of Me [3/?] anonymous June 22 2011, 08:20:56 UTC

D'AWWWWWWWWWW.

I want to give Tsu-chan a great big hug~!

Re: You Still Have All of Me [3/?] anonymous June 22 2011, 18:20:23 UTC

'And he was adorable and sweet and everything I thought I wanted..'

Was... Was Psyche Tsugaru's old boyfriend? O_O
Delic, you better treat poor ol' Tsugaru with lots of love and care, as well as respect damn it! o(>.<)o
After what probably Psyche has done, Tsugaru needs as much love and care as possible! This anon just recently began reading a few yandere Psyche fics >.>

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