the colourless words 6/8
anonymous
April 6 2010, 14:23:24 UTC
But Mikado deserves the truth. Kida knows that. He knows that he won’t be able to protect Mikado blindly forever, and that someday Mikado will find out about that dark side of Ikebukuro, that side that so many people (including himself) have gotten trapped in. He knows that the best way to tell him is to tell Mikado himself, because that way there’s no risk of Mikado getting trapped as well.
But he can’t bring himself to do that. His past (and present) are stained with blood and events that should never have happened, things that he’s not proud of at all. He doesn’t want to tell Mikado because of his own selfish feelings, because of his own fear of the shame that’ll come when Mikado finds out what he’s been up to this entire time. He doesn’t want Mikado to find out that he - Kida, his best friend, someone that you should never keep secrets from - has lied to him. Mikado thinks he’s above that, and Kida doesn’t want to destroy that image, as selfish as that is.
“-ance,” he hears Mikado say. He blinks in surprise - he’s missed almost everything Mikado just said. He chalks it up to being distracted by his own thoughts, but a dark part of his mind says it’s the blood loss destroying his concentration.
“Sorry,” Kida says apologetically, “what was that?”
“We have to call an ambulance,” Mikado repeats frantically. “You’re injured, you have to get treated and-”
“No,” Kida says quickly. “No, it’s okay.” Ambulances mean accident reports (and there’s no way he can pass this off as a fall down the stairs to a paramedic) which means that the police will be called which means that the Yellow Scarves will all, most likely, be arrested, if that happens. He can’t have that happen - he still needs his guys. “I’ll be fine,” he reassures Mikado.
“Are you sure?” Mikado asks. “Your...your hands are bloody, are you okay?”
Kida smiles weakly. “It must have been from when I fell - I must have scraped them when I caught myself.” He reaches a hand up to flick Mikado on the forehead, but thinks better of it when he realizes it was the hand against his side, now dripping with blood.
Mikado grabs it anyways. “Don’t say that!” he says. “Come on, I’ll get you to a hospital...is there one nearby? Sorry, I don’t know Ikebukuro as well as you...”
There is - the one that Saki’s at. But Kida can’t leave. He told his second that he’d only be out for a bit, and it’s already been a bit and a while and he needs to get back to his guys; needs to get back to the battle and win so that the Dollars will never, ever, ever be a threat to him or his friends or anyone ever again.
He comes out of his thoughts to see Mikado trying (and failing) to get him to stand up. He laughs weakly, but he realizes that the truth is, he can’t move his legs enough to help Mikado out even if he wanted to.
“Sorry I replied to your mail so late,” he says suddenly, trying to change the subject. Mikado stops whatever he’s trying to do and looks at him in surprise.
“It’s okay,” Mikado says. “I know we’re not glued to our phones all the time.” He pauses, like he’s looking for the right words to say. “Were you...busy?”
Kida curses mentally. He hadn’t texted back because he was busy, yeah, but his busy was beating up some Dollars members in an abandoned parking lot. And he definitely cannot tell Mikado that. “Y-yeah...sorry, I bumped into Yumasaki-san and Karisawa-san and everyone and they ended up dragging me to this month’s release of G-Fantasy and then-and then-.” He breaks off into silence. “...sorry, what was I saying?” It’s getting worse, he knows. He can barely keep his concentration on the words coming out of his own mouth and is it just him or is the alley getting darker and Mikado’s concerned face (what a nice kid, really) keeps on slipping in and out of focus and-
“It’s alright,” Mikado’s voice says soothingly. Kida looks up blurrily, and grins.
But he can’t bring himself to do that. His past (and present) are stained with blood and events that should never have happened, things that he’s not proud of at all. He doesn’t want to tell Mikado because of his own selfish feelings, because of his own fear of the shame that’ll come when Mikado finds out what he’s been up to this entire time. He doesn’t want Mikado to find out that he - Kida, his best friend, someone that you should never keep secrets from - has lied to him. Mikado thinks he’s above that, and Kida doesn’t want to destroy that image, as selfish as that is.
“-ance,” he hears Mikado say. He blinks in surprise - he’s missed almost everything Mikado just said. He chalks it up to being distracted by his own thoughts, but a dark part of his mind says it’s the blood loss destroying his concentration.
“Sorry,” Kida says apologetically, “what was that?”
“We have to call an ambulance,” Mikado repeats frantically. “You’re injured, you have to get treated and-”
“No,” Kida says quickly. “No, it’s okay.” Ambulances mean accident reports (and there’s no way he can pass this off as a fall down the stairs to a paramedic) which means that the police will be called which means that the Yellow Scarves will all, most likely, be arrested, if that happens. He can’t have that happen - he still needs his guys. “I’ll be fine,” he reassures Mikado.
“Are you sure?” Mikado asks. “Your...your hands are bloody, are you okay?”
Kida smiles weakly. “It must have been from when I fell - I must have scraped them when I caught myself.” He reaches a hand up to flick Mikado on the forehead, but thinks better of it when he realizes it was the hand against his side, now dripping with blood.
Mikado grabs it anyways. “Don’t say that!” he says. “Come on, I’ll get you to a hospital...is there one nearby? Sorry, I don’t know Ikebukuro as well as you...”
There is - the one that Saki’s at. But Kida can’t leave. He told his second that he’d only be out for a bit, and it’s already been a bit and a while and he needs to get back to his guys; needs to get back to the battle and win so that the Dollars will never, ever, ever be a threat to him or his friends or anyone ever again.
He comes out of his thoughts to see Mikado trying (and failing) to get him to stand up. He laughs weakly, but he realizes that the truth is, he can’t move his legs enough to help Mikado out even if he wanted to.
“Sorry I replied to your mail so late,” he says suddenly, trying to change the subject. Mikado stops whatever he’s trying to do and looks at him in surprise.
“It’s okay,” Mikado says. “I know we’re not glued to our phones all the time.” He pauses, like he’s looking for the right words to say. “Were you...busy?”
Kida curses mentally. He hadn’t texted back because he was busy, yeah, but his busy was beating up some Dollars members in an abandoned parking lot. And he definitely cannot tell Mikado that. “Y-yeah...sorry, I bumped into Yumasaki-san and Karisawa-san and everyone and they ended up dragging me to this month’s release of G-Fantasy and then-and then-.” He breaks off into silence. “...sorry, what was I saying?” It’s getting worse, he knows. He can barely keep his concentration on the words coming out of his own mouth and is it just him or is the alley getting darker and Mikado’s concerned face (what a nice kid, really) keeps on slipping in and out of focus and-
“It’s alright,” Mikado’s voice says soothingly. Kida looks up blurrily, and grins.
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