Family Time 1
anonymous
March 31 2010, 06:11:34 UTC
*Not the first anon but have some crack*
They were all gathered at the dinner table. As usual Izaya’s special hotpot had tanked and so it was instant noodles again. Izaya contemplated his children, Anri, Kida and the quiet guy that he at times forgot, oh yeah, Mikado. “Shizu-chan! I just realized that Kida-chan looks a bit like you! Blonde hair and all. So at least we now that one of them is your biological offspring!” Shizuo spat out his soggy ramen. “What the hell?! I’m not even a natural blonde!” Izaya was silent for a while. Then, “Oh. I see. But don’t worry, Kida-chan, Anri-chan, and that other guy-” “It’s Mikado. How come you never get my name?” “-family isn’t about sharing the same blood. Not at all, family is all about sharing special moments together! It’s a bit like they say, it doesn’t matter how well you cook, it’s how much love you put into it that counts.” Shizuo grumbled. “Your shitty hotpot was horrible.” Izaya gasped and put his hands over Anri’s ears. “Shizu-chan! Don’t curse in front of the children! And if you don’t be so redundant about it.” “Bloody hell, you’re the one that goes around saying that I’m not their father!” Shizuo pointed his chopsticks for extra emphasis. “Well, how am I expected to know that you are? I am a very sought after and I can’t help it that so many gorgeous men want to bed me.” “Why you!” Mikado coughed. “Excuse me, but males cannot reproduce.” Shizuo turned the chopsticks in Mikado’s direction. “This is the result of your bad parenting! This kid- what was his name again?” “…Mikado.” “Midori, goes around using fancy words like ‘reproduce’!” “That’s Mikado…who’s Midori?” Izaya humphed. “Don’t listen to daddy, Midori-chan. I happen to think that you’re a wonderful girl. Not as well developed as your sister Anri-chan but that doesn’t mean Mommy doesn’t love you very dearly.” “…I’m a boy.” Mikado had no time to further the point because Kida tackled him down without a warning. “Mama, Midori-chan is fine as she is!” Kida proceeded to rub against a very freaked out Mikado. Shizuo closed Anri’s eyes with his big hands. “Don’t show indecent things to your sister!” Anri spoke for the first time. “Kida and I take care of Mikado so that he doesn’t get into troubles.” Shizuo blinked and resumed his seat. “Who’s this Mikado person again?” Anri carried on in her polite and quiet way. “And we already saw you two having sex the other day.” “What the?!” Shizuo chocked. Izaya rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Hmm…doesn’t Anri look a bit like Tieria?” “Shut up! I can’t believe our children saw us having sex! It’ll ruin their lives! And stop humping your sister, Kida!” “That’s okay, Kida-chan. Daddy got topped by his brother all the time. So Midori-chan, cheer up! Incest is perfectly fine. Let’s not throw in Anri-chan into the mix so that Midori-chan doesn’t get embarrassed since her breasts haven’t began to grow yet. All girls have blossom at different times! It’s all perfectly fine.” “…it’s Mikado…and I’m a guy…” Shizuo jumped to his feet. “The hell, Kasuka didn’t top me!” “So it was the other way around? Either way, it doesn’t matter. Mommy often played house with Aunt Kururi-chan and Aunt Mairu.” Anri saw fit to pull at one of Mikado’s arms while Kida took the other. “I’m playing with Midori-chan now!” “I want to play with Mikado too.” “Aw, isn’t it adorable to see how they all get along?” Shizuo mumbled something then added. “Bunch of screw ups, it’s all your fault.” Feeling as if he was not fulfilling his fatherly duties he decided to sit next to the children and put on his gravest face. “Now, Mommy may be a bit…loose in her ways but you should know that Daddy loves you all very much. Even if she is a tramp, she has a point about the whole spending time together part. You know like those happy families in anime usually aren’t even related and yet they are all very friendly? It’s like that. Daddy cares about the two of you very much.”
They were all gathered at the dinner table. As usual Izaya’s special hotpot had tanked and so it was instant noodles again. Izaya contemplated his children, Anri, Kida and the quiet guy that he at times forgot, oh yeah, Mikado.
“Shizu-chan! I just realized that Kida-chan looks a bit like you! Blonde hair and all. So at least we now that one of them is your biological offspring!”
Shizuo spat out his soggy ramen.
“What the hell?! I’m not even a natural blonde!”
Izaya was silent for a while. Then,
“Oh. I see. But don’t worry, Kida-chan, Anri-chan, and that other guy-”
“It’s Mikado. How come you never get my name?”
“-family isn’t about sharing the same blood. Not at all, family is all about sharing special moments together! It’s a bit like they say, it doesn’t matter how well you cook, it’s how much love you put into it that counts.”
Shizuo grumbled.
“Your shitty hotpot was horrible.”
Izaya gasped and put his hands over Anri’s ears.
“Shizu-chan! Don’t curse in front of the children! And if you don’t be so redundant about it.”
“Bloody hell, you’re the one that goes around saying that I’m not their father!”
Shizuo pointed his chopsticks for extra emphasis.
“Well, how am I expected to know that you are? I am a very sought after and I can’t help it that so many gorgeous men want to bed me.”
“Why you!”
Mikado coughed.
“Excuse me, but males cannot reproduce.”
Shizuo turned the chopsticks in Mikado’s direction.
“This is the result of your bad parenting! This kid- what was his name again?”
“…Mikado.”
“Midori, goes around using fancy words like ‘reproduce’!”
“That’s Mikado…who’s Midori?”
Izaya humphed.
“Don’t listen to daddy, Midori-chan. I happen to think that you’re a wonderful girl. Not as well developed as your sister Anri-chan but that doesn’t mean Mommy doesn’t love you very dearly.”
“…I’m a boy.”
Mikado had no time to further the point because Kida tackled him down without a warning.
“Mama, Midori-chan is fine as she is!”
Kida proceeded to rub against a very freaked out Mikado. Shizuo closed Anri’s eyes with his big hands.
“Don’t show indecent things to your sister!”
Anri spoke for the first time.
“Kida and I take care of Mikado so that he doesn’t get into troubles.”
Shizuo blinked and resumed his seat.
“Who’s this Mikado person again?”
Anri carried on in her polite and quiet way.
“And we already saw you two having sex the other day.”
“What the?!”
Shizuo chocked. Izaya rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
“Hmm…doesn’t Anri look a bit like Tieria?”
“Shut up! I can’t believe our children saw us having sex! It’ll ruin their lives! And stop humping your sister, Kida!”
“That’s okay, Kida-chan. Daddy got topped by his brother all the time. So Midori-chan, cheer up! Incest is perfectly fine. Let’s not throw in Anri-chan into the mix so that Midori-chan doesn’t get embarrassed since her breasts haven’t began to grow yet. All girls have blossom at different times! It’s all perfectly fine.”
“…it’s Mikado…and I’m a guy…”
Shizuo jumped to his feet.
“The hell, Kasuka didn’t top me!”
“So it was the other way around? Either way, it doesn’t matter. Mommy often played house with Aunt Kururi-chan and Aunt Mairu.”
Anri saw fit to pull at one of Mikado’s arms while Kida took the other.
“I’m playing with Midori-chan now!”
“I want to play with Mikado too.”
“Aw, isn’t it adorable to see how they all get along?”
Shizuo mumbled something then added.
“Bunch of screw ups, it’s all your fault.”
Feeling as if he was not fulfilling his fatherly duties he decided to sit next to the children and put on his gravest face.
“Now, Mommy may be a bit…loose in her ways but you should know that Daddy loves you all very much. Even if she is a tramp, she has a point about the whole spending time together part. You know like those happy families in anime usually aren’t even related and yet they are all very friendly? It’s like that. Daddy cares about the two of you very much.”
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that last one "Daddy cares of you TWO very much" I LOL so hard! XD
This made my day!
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