(no subject)
Ah my life is just so weird right now. I still haven't really found a job. I ended up turning down that marketing thing for fear of making no money. I kind of found this one job but I'm not sure. We'll see about that soon I guess. And my sister and her husband are having a lot of financial difficulty lately so I've been trying to help dig them out of their hole by giving them gas money and money for food and stuff. I also got Roy a second job at Beacon with me and it's going to be insanely weird. Also this time of year is really weird for me right now because it's back to school time and basically everyone I know is getting all excited about school clothes shopping and about going to their new classes or just getting back to campus and seeing their friends and I'm not doing any of that. It's also weird because I feel like such a failure b/c I'm taking time of before going to grad school. I think I'm beginning a descent into a sort of breakdown. I can usually feel them coming. There's just so much going on right now and I feel like I'm clawing and clawing to keep myself above ground and that it's just not working. I've been to like a hundred job interviews and haven't had any luck. Apparently employers don't want to hire people with college educations. It's also been over a year since I've had any kind of romantic liason or really even a romantic interest for that matter. It's seems that all of my peers are having success in some area of their life and I'm not having any. I also look around me and I feel like such a little kid compared to everyone else. All of these people are married and having kids or starting careers and I'm still lost. I feel more lost now than I did when I started college and had no clue what I wanted to major in. This is even worse because my degree is finished but I feel stuck; like there is nowhere to go from here. Can God grant me a do-over?