(no subject)
Ive been trying to write the section in my book about me and Aaron and it just isn't happening. EXTREME WRITERS BLOCK. Sitting and trying to type everything that went on is just putting me in a massive head fuck. Im remembering shit that id rather forget. I hate myself for what i turned into and how much of a weak pathetic insecure crying shy nobody i was, and i hate it that drugs can do that to you. Everyone always says weed is nothing. But its bollocks. Aaron treating me like a grade a twat obviously didnt help, but excess smoking made me into that heap of shit. And i really really really really really fucking hate it. I hate feeling weak. I hate it that he walked all over me, that i knew what was going on but let him do it. I hate it that i opened up to him and poured thoughts and memories out to him that ive never dared tell anyone before. I hate that i clung to him because if i didnt have a spliff i'd feel things.
Every guy in the world can go fuck himself.
Every guy in the world can go fuck himself.