(no subject)
So we're moving shit and putting boxed where they need to be. Sunday is the last day.
I sit here needing to fall asleep because the lady thats helping us sell the house is coming tomorrow and I still have last min. packing and a shitload of cleaning to do. But I don't want to go to bed, I feel to empty.
I was sitting here trying to figure out why this feeling was so familiar between gasps of tears, and it hit me. I have this feeling when I'm laying on the cold hard bed at the psychward, laying there feeling empty with everyone one around me being asleep. I had this feeling in the begining of when I went to house of hope. I don't know quite was it is, and I don't know how any of it is connected, I wish i knew so I could get rid of it but it comes on quite strong. I would lay in bed and close my eyes but when I do the pain rushes and I see myself laying in the psych wards bed, it being cold where my body heat hasn't warmed it up yet, and the itchy blanket quite not doing it in the comfort area. I feel so dead, I don't want to move.
I sit here needing to fall asleep because the lady thats helping us sell the house is coming tomorrow and I still have last min. packing and a shitload of cleaning to do. But I don't want to go to bed, I feel to empty.
I was sitting here trying to figure out why this feeling was so familiar between gasps of tears, and it hit me. I have this feeling when I'm laying on the cold hard bed at the psychward, laying there feeling empty with everyone one around me being asleep. I had this feeling in the begining of when I went to house of hope. I don't know quite was it is, and I don't know how any of it is connected, I wish i knew so I could get rid of it but it comes on quite strong. I would lay in bed and close my eyes but when I do the pain rushes and I see myself laying in the psych wards bed, it being cold where my body heat hasn't warmed it up yet, and the itchy blanket quite not doing it in the comfort area. I feel so dead, I don't want to move.