... Did I really just write that? o_o
So after a few days of constant mauling by my mothers rats--Azizi, the monster chihuahua, and Zoe, the mini dachshund--I was thinking of the challenge aggybird provided when she dared to ask "Where my wereyorks at?" This fic was then spawned. Sorry 'bout it. *snickers a bit*
Title: Over priced, under valued and over sexed
Written in first person... I don't know why... I'll probably try to re-write it before Aggy's birthday. :) Not even porn yet! But no worries... >_>
Michael was grinning when he walked into the house, a bounce in his step. He looked like he couldn't be happier if you dropped a million dollars in his bank account. Hmph. This does not bode well.
"Abby! Where's my baby? Abby-snookems!"
God I hated his stupid pet names. But, doing my duty, I scampered out from my little soft bed and made my way up to Michael. He was better than other owners I had seen. He didn't try to put pink bows in my hair, for instance.
Ah, in case you hadn't realized, I'm a dog. Well, kind of. Don't worry about that for now, we'll get to it. But, so you know, I'm the prettiest damn Yorkshire Terrier you're gonna see in the tri-state area, pretty blonds and grays with soulful brown eyes.
As Michael came into view I gave a sharp little bark--I do not yip, thank you very much--to get his attention. Obligingly, Michael dropped to his knees to give me the appropriate greeting, which includes lots of petting and scritching and a few small treats, preferably from Belle's Cafe. Another sign that Michael was up to something, when considering his too-happy attitude, was that the treats were from Belle's, and the really good ones at that.
With a dainty little sniff I sat back on my haunches and regarded Michael with open suspicion. He laughed a little, holding his hands up teasingly. "Alright, Abby--" Augh! "--you're right, somethings up." This is when his smile turned a little guilty. Michael, as a rule, does not feel guilt, therefore this expression made me even more wary than his earlier happiness had. He's such a manipulative jerk. I growled at him.
"Aww, don't be like that, sweetpea," he crooned to me, scratching my left ear. Bastard. I should've just bit him, but my left ear was always a weakness. Grudgingly, I leaned into his hand and did not bite him, hearing him out. For now.
"Well, babykins, the long and short of it--" He giggled at that, like there was something terribly humorous in such a trite expression. "--is that we've got a new family member. Here, I'll show you!" With that he bounded away, retrieving something from the entry hall.
Once the ear-rubbing disappeared it only took me a moment to gather my wits and follow Michael, who was kneeling near the door crooning at whatever was in the small.... bag? What the hell gets dragged around in a black and pink bag? Jesus.
Michael finally got the, eh, thing out of the carrier, but spotted me before he stood, so he just turned and sat on his ass, grinning at me. "C'mere, cutie, and meet your new little brother!" I had to move closer to get a look at the rather large bundle in his arms. All I could see was smooth, short black fur before he finally set the fuzzball down in front of me.
He started rambling something about the dog belonging to his sister and blah blah blah, but I didn't bother to pay attention. What, was he gonna quiz me later? I snorted a bit at that. So, this little guy looked like a... ridiculously large Chihuahua. At least it didn't look like a drowned rat. Huh. At least he wasn't shaking, and he didn't look like he'd pee everywhere at a glance. Wonder if he's a purebred.... I'll ask later. For now, I'd get to know the pup. And then, I heard his name.
"Fitch! Abercrombie and Fitch!"
I swear, I'd bite the man one day.
* * *
We settled into an easy accord after the standard greeting--lots of sniffing and licking and the occasional pounce to prove superiority. I won. Poor mutt, he probably had no idea when he came here that Michael was gone more often then not, and we had two caretakers that came in on a schedule to feed, walk and play with us.
I won't lie. I had been hoping that maybe, just maybe, Michael had happened across another were. He did seem to have a knack for finding supernatural oddities, like the cursed curtains he'd brought home, or the set of haunted dishes, or that possessed hula girl he'd brought back from one of his trips. But, either way, Fitch had proven in the last few weeks to be as normal as I, well, wasn't. Not a big deal, I guess, just means I can keep lounging around naked (when Michael or the girls weren't around), I didn't have to worry about sharing, Fitch didn't do more than bark at me (I'd heard people get annoyed by incessant talkers?), and I had a puppy to play with. So I guess it's okay.
* * *
Michael told me, us (keep forgetting about Fitch, even though he's been here a month now), that he was going on some trip for a few months. I used to get sad when this happened, because it meant no one would bother stocking the food in the kitchen and all I'd have to eat were kibbles and bits, but ever since that one time Michael came back unexpectedly in the middle of the night the girls have always kept the kitchen properly stocked. So now there's no reason to be sad.
As soon as Michael left, I shifted and turned on the fireplace. Sue me, the floor is cold and it's still winter. While the sitting room heated up, I went to the kitchen and made some popcorn, Fitch trailing after me. He was cute, and clingy, but it was okay. When I stretched out on the floor, he curled up against my side and I fed him a piece of popcorn now and then.
I really enjoy being in my human form, if you can't tell. I'm sleek and slender, maybe Michael's height but I'm not sure how tall he actually is.... My eyes are green with only a little brown in this form, for some reason, and my hair always starts out a silvery gray and fades to a blond and is always always shaggy and hanging in my face. You get used to it. Better than pink bows.
I usually try really hard not to fall asleep in human form, because you never know if someone might show up, and I've seen on TV how people react to finding naked men in an apartment they're not supposed to be in. But it was so nice, stretching out on the rug, the heat washing over me, Fitch quietly dozing at my side.... I couldn't help but nap a bit.
Usually I don't have particularly interesting dreams. But that night I had dreams about being touched and held, cuddled with human hands in my human form. But when I woke up, it was dark out and Fitch had wandered off somewhere, leaving me alone.
Title: Over priced, under valued and over sexed
Written in first person... I don't know why... I'll probably try to re-write it before Aggy's birthday. :) Not even porn yet! But no worries... >_>
Michael was grinning when he walked into the house, a bounce in his step. He looked like he couldn't be happier if you dropped a million dollars in his bank account. Hmph. This does not bode well.
"Abby! Where's my baby? Abby-snookems!"
God I hated his stupid pet names. But, doing my duty, I scampered out from my little soft bed and made my way up to Michael. He was better than other owners I had seen. He didn't try to put pink bows in my hair, for instance.
Ah, in case you hadn't realized, I'm a dog. Well, kind of. Don't worry about that for now, we'll get to it. But, so you know, I'm the prettiest damn Yorkshire Terrier you're gonna see in the tri-state area, pretty blonds and grays with soulful brown eyes.
As Michael came into view I gave a sharp little bark--I do not yip, thank you very much--to get his attention. Obligingly, Michael dropped to his knees to give me the appropriate greeting, which includes lots of petting and scritching and a few small treats, preferably from Belle's Cafe. Another sign that Michael was up to something, when considering his too-happy attitude, was that the treats were from Belle's, and the really good ones at that.
With a dainty little sniff I sat back on my haunches and regarded Michael with open suspicion. He laughed a little, holding his hands up teasingly. "Alright, Abby--" Augh! "--you're right, somethings up." This is when his smile turned a little guilty. Michael, as a rule, does not feel guilt, therefore this expression made me even more wary than his earlier happiness had. He's such a manipulative jerk. I growled at him.
"Aww, don't be like that, sweetpea," he crooned to me, scratching my left ear. Bastard. I should've just bit him, but my left ear was always a weakness. Grudgingly, I leaned into his hand and did not bite him, hearing him out. For now.
"Well, babykins, the long and short of it--" He giggled at that, like there was something terribly humorous in such a trite expression. "--is that we've got a new family member. Here, I'll show you!" With that he bounded away, retrieving something from the entry hall.
Once the ear-rubbing disappeared it only took me a moment to gather my wits and follow Michael, who was kneeling near the door crooning at whatever was in the small.... bag? What the hell gets dragged around in a black and pink bag? Jesus.
Michael finally got the, eh, thing out of the carrier, but spotted me before he stood, so he just turned and sat on his ass, grinning at me. "C'mere, cutie, and meet your new little brother!" I had to move closer to get a look at the rather large bundle in his arms. All I could see was smooth, short black fur before he finally set the fuzzball down in front of me.
He started rambling something about the dog belonging to his sister and blah blah blah, but I didn't bother to pay attention. What, was he gonna quiz me later? I snorted a bit at that. So, this little guy looked like a... ridiculously large Chihuahua. At least it didn't look like a drowned rat. Huh. At least he wasn't shaking, and he didn't look like he'd pee everywhere at a glance. Wonder if he's a purebred.... I'll ask later. For now, I'd get to know the pup. And then, I heard his name.
"Fitch! Abercrombie and Fitch!"
I swear, I'd bite the man one day.
* * *
We settled into an easy accord after the standard greeting--lots of sniffing and licking and the occasional pounce to prove superiority. I won. Poor mutt, he probably had no idea when he came here that Michael was gone more often then not, and we had two caretakers that came in on a schedule to feed, walk and play with us.
I won't lie. I had been hoping that maybe, just maybe, Michael had happened across another were. He did seem to have a knack for finding supernatural oddities, like the cursed curtains he'd brought home, or the set of haunted dishes, or that possessed hula girl he'd brought back from one of his trips. But, either way, Fitch had proven in the last few weeks to be as normal as I, well, wasn't. Not a big deal, I guess, just means I can keep lounging around naked (when Michael or the girls weren't around), I didn't have to worry about sharing, Fitch didn't do more than bark at me (I'd heard people get annoyed by incessant talkers?), and I had a puppy to play with. So I guess it's okay.
* * *
Michael told me, us (keep forgetting about Fitch, even though he's been here a month now), that he was going on some trip for a few months. I used to get sad when this happened, because it meant no one would bother stocking the food in the kitchen and all I'd have to eat were kibbles and bits, but ever since that one time Michael came back unexpectedly in the middle of the night the girls have always kept the kitchen properly stocked. So now there's no reason to be sad.
As soon as Michael left, I shifted and turned on the fireplace. Sue me, the floor is cold and it's still winter. While the sitting room heated up, I went to the kitchen and made some popcorn, Fitch trailing after me. He was cute, and clingy, but it was okay. When I stretched out on the floor, he curled up against my side and I fed him a piece of popcorn now and then.
I really enjoy being in my human form, if you can't tell. I'm sleek and slender, maybe Michael's height but I'm not sure how tall he actually is.... My eyes are green with only a little brown in this form, for some reason, and my hair always starts out a silvery gray and fades to a blond and is always always shaggy and hanging in my face. You get used to it. Better than pink bows.
I usually try really hard not to fall asleep in human form, because you never know if someone might show up, and I've seen on TV how people react to finding naked men in an apartment they're not supposed to be in. But it was so nice, stretching out on the rug, the heat washing over me, Fitch quietly dozing at my side.... I couldn't help but nap a bit.
Usually I don't have particularly interesting dreams. But that night I had dreams about being touched and held, cuddled with human hands in my human form. But when I woke up, it was dark out and Fitch had wandered off somewhere, leaving me alone.