i needed somewhere to hang my head without your noose
life: since i've been back has been grand...up until now where i'm starting to realize that i need to concentrate more on my future. alright, so i did a massive amount of partying. but it was great...basically every second of it. and if that could be my profession, it would be damnit. i have something to laugh about for every time that i was gone...if i could remember it. anyway. it was fun. i look forward to a day where kandace and i have off where we can go and fuck around. but i have a feeling for a while it'll be lame amanda and i'll be very studious and hard working. i may even start to workout again. just getting over death of a cold which was powerful enough to knock me on my as for 2 days. feeling better physically, but have the biggest fucking headaches of my life from stress. i just have no control over some of the things going on. i hate it. i can't wait till i semi-almost have control and/or say over how my day runs.
school: i've been paying attention in. despite this being the semester that i've partied the most, i feel as if it has been my most intelligent semester yet. i'm on it in class. that could be because 3/4 classes are CJ. i have the head of the CJ department professor everyday of the week. and i must give him props. he has this underwater investigation week course at the end of june. pretty sweet. i have a feeling that my parents are willing to help me pay to come back for it. yes, i have to pay $30 a day for housing, 770 for the course anddd air fair, however, its 3 credits in 5 days(if you pass). so, unfortunately this may mean no cali for me. which i really was excited for, i even wrote it down in my calender.
work: at the Y has been not eventful to say the most. not only am i still employed at the wonderful YMCA(which still has yet to pay my raise), but i am now a waitress at a NY deli place. pretty sweet. i do have to say they got it with that whole NY logo that they slap on it. it's a "hole in the wall" discovery food place like you would find in NY. but wait, there's more...as part of the requirement for one of my CJ courses, we have to do service learning. i'm a peer mentor for a kid over in Waimanolo. for me it's about 1/4 around the island which makes it a grand pain in the ass to get to without a car. so i have to rely on school vans, but this is a problem because that runs into my classes which are not miss-able, and then the set schedule that i have with the Y, as well as the weekly schedule put out by NY deli. oh yea. i got it good. so, as far as control goes, this really irritates me. can't wait until OL stuff starts to mix in with this as well. however, i don't see the OL thing as a job. i'm more excited for it. i want kandace and i to be promoted to team captains. it would rule.
love: day was yesterday. and i'm being good. i'm not bitter about valentines day because i'm optomistic about it. hopefully one day i'll enjoy the day. as for now..no. jon commented me. it annoys me not knowing what he was trying to accomplish. so i messaged him back. got a text yesterday too. odd but still i don't want to talk to the asshole. i have nothing to say. i could say the same for all guys here. perhaps that's why i concentrate on work and school so much o_0
i miss my mommy. i dunno, valentines day made me miss her. she always did cute/gay/crafty stuff. where i just lack in this department for others because of my lack of concern and time. but of course, i miss the spoiled part. i'm already home sick? ah what is that? but this time last year i was contemplating the same thing. i went home for spring break. i'm sure i'll be working....buttt i'll have the night to party because i just won't tell work that i'm on break! genious! this is my first full week of being sober. go me.
"hi, my name's amanda, and i've been clean and sober for a week now"
"HI AMANDA."