(no subject)
so this is pretty much my last weekend in the states, therefore i decided to get extra crazy.
last night we accidentally broke a 12 pack, i tried to pick up the glass with my hands, killed a bottle and a quarter of another bottle of jagermeister, and locked my self out of my room...twice.
this is basically how it happened.
1. Andy came and got me after work. I had slept since 1300 and he came around 1800. I was extremely hungry (as always)
2. We went to his room and smoked a lot of cigarettes. He says lets get "SHITTY"
3. A large grin falls upon my face.
4. Neither of us have cars (cause I dropped mine off in Tucson) so we ask somebody that walks by us for a ride. We say we will give him a brew.
5. We go to the shopette and we get a 12 pack of Heineken and a large bottle of Jager. I buy it with Andy's credit card.
6. I forgot to purchase cigarettes. I am angry, but much more enthusiastic to sap the liq.
7. We go to Andy's room and the dude that gave us a ride "Whitzel" was wearing an Atreyu shirt.
8. We play Bioshock and I slam a few beers down. I am not yet buzzed. I decide it is "jagertime!"
9. Whitzel starts talking about his ability to play an instrument called the bass guitar. I look at the atreyu shirt and laugh to myself. I take them to my room and I show Whitzel how I shred. I tell him Atreyu sucks so many times and I was starting to become rather furious because he says "it's a matter of opinion. I throw my phone on the ground. It shatters and explodes. We all laugh.
10. I chug the jager. By this time I am taking multiple chugs. I show him what real music is.
11. I decide to go to Matt (Bald Eagles) room. He answers and he smells like Jameson whiskey. He sounds like he is drunker than I am. With jager in hand I start to invite myself in but a female NCO stops me and asks me if I know what jager is used for in Germany. I tell her "to get crunkalunk" she says yeah that too but it is used to settle your stomachs after you eat large meals. I am rather intrigued by this statement.
12. I tell her that coca-cola used to have cocaine in it. She tells me Dr. Pepper used to do something too but by this time the jager has been 86'd into my stomach. I am dizzy, and it feels quite grand. I go into Matt's room finally and accidentally knock over multiple items. (including his drink) I tell him i am sorry and I hug him. I ask him if he has my back in Iraq. He says he does. He asks me if I have his. You get the idea.
13. I steal his phone and start talking to the girl that he called. I ask her if she is hot. She tells me to inquire with Matt. I ask whats your name along with a bunch of slurry words. She hangs up on me. I walk around the outside of the barracks being friendly and saying Hi to people. Some people are cool with it but a large man wearing a bright green shirt decides to be coercive with me. I tell him to fuck off.
14. Whitzel tells us he has more jager. I re-con it. It is a lot of trouble trying to get it but the pot of gold was mine and not the leprechauns. I chug it and don't share with my friends. Friends get angry. They say more liquor now. We get into the batmobile and take off at a high rate of speed. We go inside the shopette.
15. I realize how bad my munchies are and start grabbing an outstanding amount of frozen snacks/foods. I kept yelling that I need tacos or I will not be able to go on in life. The line in the shopette was about 15-20 customers long. We argue about which beer to get. I argue with customers in line about which beer is better. My fist clenches to this one dude but I quickly realize I am in a bad situation. I release my tension. I grab more Heinekens. The blond girl in front of me thought I was funny. She was cute. I tell her the band that is on her shirt sucks terribly. She doesn't think I am funny anymore. I have a habit of ruining things especially with the female persuasion. I ruin more things during the night. Let's see here....
16. We go to my room. I get to my door and I try to get my food from him. Somehow the beers flew out of the bag and box and shattered at my door step. I start sucking beer off the ground as if I am desperate. My friend gets pissed and goes to his room. I follow, but only to get a mop. I go into the cleaning closet and as i grab two mops the neon halogen light comes crashing down in front of me. Did I do something to make it fall? I have absolutely no idea.
17. As my friend tries to get into his room 4 more beers break. Wow we are all entirely too drunk. I goto my room but realize I locked myself out. I have a french bread pizza in the microwave that was set for 25 minutes. It is not funny to me anymore. I pound on my neighbors door. He answers in his underwear and tells me I am drunk. I go through his window and through mine to get to my room. I break my window screen as I have no patience for extra bullshit. I smell burning food. I turn the microwave off and read the numbers 13:16 left on the timer. I still eat one of the burnt foods. I go outside to mop the mess. I lock myself out again. My finger is bleeding like crazy because i tried to pick up glass with my hands. I knock on Jefferies door again and he answers. I ask him for a metal clothes hanger. He and his room mate both tell me no. my finger is bleeding like crazy. I bleed on him. I squeeze my finger and blood squirts at whatever I point it at. I am intrigued again. I get back in my room and just sweep the glass into my room. I go back to Andy's room.
18. He and Whitzel are eating taquitos. I love taquitos. I take taquitos. And a cigarette.
19. I go back to my room and smoke a cigarette. I CRASH. Successful Friday indeed.
Fin.
last night we accidentally broke a 12 pack, i tried to pick up the glass with my hands, killed a bottle and a quarter of another bottle of jagermeister, and locked my self out of my room...twice.
this is basically how it happened.
1. Andy came and got me after work. I had slept since 1300 and he came around 1800. I was extremely hungry (as always)
2. We went to his room and smoked a lot of cigarettes. He says lets get "SHITTY"
3. A large grin falls upon my face.
4. Neither of us have cars (cause I dropped mine off in Tucson) so we ask somebody that walks by us for a ride. We say we will give him a brew.
5. We go to the shopette and we get a 12 pack of Heineken and a large bottle of Jager. I buy it with Andy's credit card.
6. I forgot to purchase cigarettes. I am angry, but much more enthusiastic to sap the liq.
7. We go to Andy's room and the dude that gave us a ride "Whitzel" was wearing an Atreyu shirt.
8. We play Bioshock and I slam a few beers down. I am not yet buzzed. I decide it is "jagertime!"
9. Whitzel starts talking about his ability to play an instrument called the bass guitar. I look at the atreyu shirt and laugh to myself. I take them to my room and I show Whitzel how I shred. I tell him Atreyu sucks so many times and I was starting to become rather furious because he says "it's a matter of opinion. I throw my phone on the ground. It shatters and explodes. We all laugh.
10. I chug the jager. By this time I am taking multiple chugs. I show him what real music is.
11. I decide to go to Matt (Bald Eagles) room. He answers and he smells like Jameson whiskey. He sounds like he is drunker than I am. With jager in hand I start to invite myself in but a female NCO stops me and asks me if I know what jager is used for in Germany. I tell her "to get crunkalunk" she says yeah that too but it is used to settle your stomachs after you eat large meals. I am rather intrigued by this statement.
12. I tell her that coca-cola used to have cocaine in it. She tells me Dr. Pepper used to do something too but by this time the jager has been 86'd into my stomach. I am dizzy, and it feels quite grand. I go into Matt's room finally and accidentally knock over multiple items. (including his drink) I tell him i am sorry and I hug him. I ask him if he has my back in Iraq. He says he does. He asks me if I have his. You get the idea.
13. I steal his phone and start talking to the girl that he called. I ask her if she is hot. She tells me to inquire with Matt. I ask whats your name along with a bunch of slurry words. She hangs up on me. I walk around the outside of the barracks being friendly and saying Hi to people. Some people are cool with it but a large man wearing a bright green shirt decides to be coercive with me. I tell him to fuck off.
14. Whitzel tells us he has more jager. I re-con it. It is a lot of trouble trying to get it but the pot of gold was mine and not the leprechauns. I chug it and don't share with my friends. Friends get angry. They say more liquor now. We get into the batmobile and take off at a high rate of speed. We go inside the shopette.
15. I realize how bad my munchies are and start grabbing an outstanding amount of frozen snacks/foods. I kept yelling that I need tacos or I will not be able to go on in life. The line in the shopette was about 15-20 customers long. We argue about which beer to get. I argue with customers in line about which beer is better. My fist clenches to this one dude but I quickly realize I am in a bad situation. I release my tension. I grab more Heinekens. The blond girl in front of me thought I was funny. She was cute. I tell her the band that is on her shirt sucks terribly. She doesn't think I am funny anymore. I have a habit of ruining things especially with the female persuasion. I ruin more things during the night. Let's see here....
16. We go to my room. I get to my door and I try to get my food from him. Somehow the beers flew out of the bag and box and shattered at my door step. I start sucking beer off the ground as if I am desperate. My friend gets pissed and goes to his room. I follow, but only to get a mop. I go into the cleaning closet and as i grab two mops the neon halogen light comes crashing down in front of me. Did I do something to make it fall? I have absolutely no idea.
17. As my friend tries to get into his room 4 more beers break. Wow we are all entirely too drunk. I goto my room but realize I locked myself out. I have a french bread pizza in the microwave that was set for 25 minutes. It is not funny to me anymore. I pound on my neighbors door. He answers in his underwear and tells me I am drunk. I go through his window and through mine to get to my room. I break my window screen as I have no patience for extra bullshit. I smell burning food. I turn the microwave off and read the numbers 13:16 left on the timer. I still eat one of the burnt foods. I go outside to mop the mess. I lock myself out again. My finger is bleeding like crazy because i tried to pick up glass with my hands. I knock on Jefferies door again and he answers. I ask him for a metal clothes hanger. He and his room mate both tell me no. my finger is bleeding like crazy. I bleed on him. I squeeze my finger and blood squirts at whatever I point it at. I am intrigued again. I get back in my room and just sweep the glass into my room. I go back to Andy's room.
18. He and Whitzel are eating taquitos. I love taquitos. I take taquitos. And a cigarette.
19. I go back to my room and smoke a cigarette. I CRASH. Successful Friday indeed.
Fin.