There's certain things I promised not to let you know.
I just want to spit this out. I feel really bad for Ryan not hanging out with his friends as much. I know it's my fault, because he wants to spend all his time with me. I tell him all the time that he should really hang out with them otherwise he's not going to have any friends. He doesn't want to listen to me. He tells me he doesn't have friends, he likes my friends more. His friends only bring problems among him. Shit like that. What am I supposed to say? Everytime I tell him to hang out with his friends he gets upset and thinks that I'm getting sick of him. That's not the case at all. The case is I don't want him to get all upset when he doesn't have friends and then blame it all on me. I know he loves me, and he wants to spend all his time with him, and don't get me wrong I love that. (Who wouldn't?) But I just feel really bad. Also, I don't really like Alex all too much, but if Ryan wanted to hang out with Alex, I would let him. I told Ryan ever since the start that I will not choose his friends for him as long as he doesn't do the same for me. Well, he has for me and I still haven't for him. I just don't know.
The more I think about it the more it upsets me. What am I supposed to say to him anymore? Jennifer just told me before to watch my back with him, she doesn't trust him. And of course telling me that is helping out so much. It honestly takes so much out of me to trust someone. And I feel as though I do trust him, but sometimes I'm just not so sure.
And lately little things have been getting on my nerves. He expects me to do everything with him. Sometimes, I just don't want to do anything. I just want to lay down and watch t.v. I know it might seem boring, but I can't be loud and jumpy all the time. Infact, sometimes all I need is just alone time. But he never listens to me. Well, he does, just not when I'm whiney. I don't know. God damnit.
I was trying so hard to try and make this entry make sense. But I can't think right now. I think I'm going to go home and make some tea. Yeah, that sounds nice. <3
The more I think about it the more it upsets me. What am I supposed to say to him anymore? Jennifer just told me before to watch my back with him, she doesn't trust him. And of course telling me that is helping out so much. It honestly takes so much out of me to trust someone. And I feel as though I do trust him, but sometimes I'm just not so sure.
And lately little things have been getting on my nerves. He expects me to do everything with him. Sometimes, I just don't want to do anything. I just want to lay down and watch t.v. I know it might seem boring, but I can't be loud and jumpy all the time. Infact, sometimes all I need is just alone time. But he never listens to me. Well, he does, just not when I'm whiney. I don't know. God damnit.
I was trying so hard to try and make this entry make sense. But I can't think right now. I think I'm going to go home and make some tea. Yeah, that sounds nice. <3