i feel like crying
it sucks that the only kid i have actually feelings for...lives in greenwood lake..and it sucks that every weekend he goes down to his dads house in jersey...truthfully i dont understand why i still have feelings for him...i mean we barly talk on the phone anymore......he used to call me ALL the time...and now when he does..it will be a "hey whats up?" conversation then he will say he has to go..and he will call me back in a little bit...and he calles at like 11:30..when he knows im already sleeping..and then some random times when he calls me..i will be busy and tell him will call him back..and when i do...he's either on the phone with someone else...or he will call back in a little bit..which turns into him calling me at 11:30...it sucks soo much..and when we actually talk on the phone..he tells me how much he misses me...and how much he likes me...and blady blady bla...and the times we actually get to hang out..which is usually like every 2 months... he treats me sooooooo well..he makes me feel so amazing..argh i dont know how to explain it...
and this may sound really really lame..and me just being jealus but oh well..dont read it if you dont care... i read amanda and jessicas entrys (im not mad at you too! im just rambling) and i read how they miss hanging out w/ donny..and scott (this other kid) it kills me...when i read that...i felt this lump in my throat and i wanted to cry...i actually said outloud "no..hes mine!" and in my head i was like "wow whats wrong with you..i cant believe you just said that" but i know thats how i really feel...this side of jealusy just came over me and i wanted to jump into the computer and spit on their jurnal entrys..i dont know why i got so upset...
ahhhh i have his ring..and it sits on my computer desk...occasionally i will wear it as a necklace to school..and i will get random kids that question me about it..and i just dont know how to explain it..and whenever i look at the ring i want to just reach out and hold him and never let go... i feel like a hugeeeee ass for writing all of that...and jessica and amanda dont take it the wrong way..i still love you guys soooooo much.. it just killed me.. blah.
kate me anne nicky taylor randy and holli...across all of us is diana..then on the bottom its jenny kristan and casey
me and my sister
katie me and kate...yes im standing on something :/ haha
the rest are in my photobucket...under "anything soccer" then "sept 12 cruise"