"Revolutionaries wait for my head on a silver plate"
Trallallaa! I bought a new diary!!!! Finally! It's beautiful, and trustworthy, and despite the fact that I've given up promising and making firm decisions in my life, I swore in the first entry to finish every one of them, to leave each as complete as I am as a person. For almost a year now I think I've left all but one or two paper journal entries incomplete - and many of them grotesquely so, as if a novel finished mid- second chapter. A lot of the most important emotions, or words said, thought and underlying will be lost in time, and I've probably already forgotten many. Ridiculous and so in vain, as this is the reason I keep a diary in the first place! I think I need to learn both to take more time to record them, and when I'm lacking that time, recognise it, and get straight to the point, without the winding introductions!
Aside from this I feel well, and alive. I'm surprised how happy I am to be without "social obligations" (I know it sounds terrible); I don't mind slaving away outside my actual working hours, because my ambitions, hunger for knowledge and passion for the subjects all push and pull me to give my best, and because I also have time to rest sufficiently. I ordered a completely new book on the Arab League (dreadfully expensive, especially with the shipping costs...), which I can't wait to get my hands on.
Following the news with almost all the spare time I have at work (well, except for now), it's beginning to dawn on me that humans have never experienced a state of peace. I honestly doubt that the uprisings against oppressive regimes, struggles for independence and cockfights of the national political elites (that at times reflect deeprooted, sore ethnic and/or ideological differences) that are going on across the globe, and many of them without any links to the others, can be vanquished. This doesn't mean I'm giving up the fight. Because I cannot give up the fight against human suffering. (If I ever do, please slap me for my present self. Slap me with all the disappointment and shame I would feel. Or better still just find this entry and bring it to me, preferably with a funeral flower.)
Oh shit. I forgot to make a call before 16.15. Oh well, it's unlikely that they would have answered anyway. I'll try again tomorrow. This is what happens when you get carried away by your own fancy thoughts and ideas. Kids, don't be like Sissi - be responsible and stick posti-it notes in the middle of your screen, so you won't be as forgetful as her!
P.S. Did I mention I decided for an exchange after all? PARISPARISPARIS JE T'AIME! I've pretty much chosen my classes for that year (which'll be in a year, that is...), and am short of looking for accommodation starting tomorrow. Overplanner? Me?! What makes you say that...
Aside from this I feel well, and alive. I'm surprised how happy I am to be without "social obligations" (I know it sounds terrible); I don't mind slaving away outside my actual working hours, because my ambitions, hunger for knowledge and passion for the subjects all push and pull me to give my best, and because I also have time to rest sufficiently. I ordered a completely new book on the Arab League (dreadfully expensive, especially with the shipping costs...), which I can't wait to get my hands on.
Following the news with almost all the spare time I have at work (well, except for now), it's beginning to dawn on me that humans have never experienced a state of peace. I honestly doubt that the uprisings against oppressive regimes, struggles for independence and cockfights of the national political elites (that at times reflect deeprooted, sore ethnic and/or ideological differences) that are going on across the globe, and many of them without any links to the others, can be vanquished. This doesn't mean I'm giving up the fight. Because I cannot give up the fight against human suffering. (If I ever do, please slap me for my present self. Slap me with all the disappointment and shame I would feel. Or better still just find this entry and bring it to me, preferably with a funeral flower.)
Oh shit. I forgot to make a call before 16.15. Oh well, it's unlikely that they would have answered anyway. I'll try again tomorrow. This is what happens when you get carried away by your own fancy thoughts and ideas. Kids, don't be like Sissi - be responsible and stick posti-it notes in the middle of your screen, so you won't be as forgetful as her!
P.S. Did I mention I decided for an exchange after all? PARISPARISPARIS JE T'AIME! I've pretty much chosen my classes for that year (which'll be in a year, that is...), and am short of looking for accommodation starting tomorrow. Overplanner? Me?! What makes you say that...