(no subject)
i haven't found it in myself to update, recently.
i've got more than a few things that have been on my mind lately and i'm just itching to vent them out. my allergies have led me to being in this deathly state of being. my parents totally refuse that it's my allergies and won't leave me alone until i admit that i have a cold. it's been so windy outside that i've been afraid to step foot out there. with the way i feel i've never felt so much fear of the outdoor weather. it's pretty sad.
i'll find time to update on things i've been down about but as far as the good stuff.
besides a select few friends that have stayed constant in my recent life ... there's ryan. i honestly thanked him the other day for that. with all these ups and downs i've been having with 'friends' of mine he's one of the few people who's stayed by my side. even though he's out of the country he still manages to keep in much closer contact with me than other people who live in a good radius of me. it's made me appreciate him much more than i did before.
being with him is a completely different feeling than i've ever had. i know that i hate being compared to other people but i can't quite seem to help from doing it myself. he's so much better than i could have asked for and he's not even in the same galaxy when i think about what my relationship was like before him. he really cares about me and my happiness. he really wants to know more about me and enjoys my conversation. he admits that he's not a great looker and that he doesn't know what i'm doing with him.
it's amazing how alike we are. i can never stress that enough.
we share almost the same insecurities in our relationship and i think it's kind of good...
i wouldn't want to be with someone who looked at other girls, compared me to them, or constantly walked around thinking 'man, i'm way better looking than her and i can do so much better.' i am very much attracted to him both physically and mentally. i tell him time and time again and he doesn't seem to believe me when i tell him how great looking he is and how over-all awesome he is. i guess i don't give him such a hard time because i have the same feelings and don't really believe him when he tells me otherwise. so how upset can i really get, huh?
and he really gets me. even when i don't understand myself or don't make much sense. he still gets me. he's definetely the reason for my sanity right now, that's for sure. he's my anchor and i'm not sure if he's realized that yet.
he's got a countdown on his myspace as to how many days it'll be until i get to see him. oh! which reminds me. i've been stressing how i was going to make it up there because of whatever is going on with some people i planned on going with. if you know my mom there is no way i would be able to drive up there myself to see him. and honestly with being raised like that i don't think i'd be able to make the trip alone without freaking out. anyways, his parents paid for a plane ticket (roundtrip)! isn't that amazing? i mean i knew they liked me but ... this is love. i appreciate it so very much.
but back to the countdown; it's at 37 days. it's adorable and very different from before to see that he's very excited about seeing me. i know that it's going to be about 10-ish months since i've seen him since then but, it's wonderful to see his emotions rather than have to wonder. he's so amazing, and i can't wait until i'm back in his arms.
lord knows you'll be getting a picture update once he's back !
i've got more than a few things that have been on my mind lately and i'm just itching to vent them out. my allergies have led me to being in this deathly state of being. my parents totally refuse that it's my allergies and won't leave me alone until i admit that i have a cold. it's been so windy outside that i've been afraid to step foot out there. with the way i feel i've never felt so much fear of the outdoor weather. it's pretty sad.
i'll find time to update on things i've been down about but as far as the good stuff.
besides a select few friends that have stayed constant in my recent life ... there's ryan. i honestly thanked him the other day for that. with all these ups and downs i've been having with 'friends' of mine he's one of the few people who's stayed by my side. even though he's out of the country he still manages to keep in much closer contact with me than other people who live in a good radius of me. it's made me appreciate him much more than i did before.
being with him is a completely different feeling than i've ever had. i know that i hate being compared to other people but i can't quite seem to help from doing it myself. he's so much better than i could have asked for and he's not even in the same galaxy when i think about what my relationship was like before him. he really cares about me and my happiness. he really wants to know more about me and enjoys my conversation. he admits that he's not a great looker and that he doesn't know what i'm doing with him.
it's amazing how alike we are. i can never stress that enough.
we share almost the same insecurities in our relationship and i think it's kind of good...
i wouldn't want to be with someone who looked at other girls, compared me to them, or constantly walked around thinking 'man, i'm way better looking than her and i can do so much better.' i am very much attracted to him both physically and mentally. i tell him time and time again and he doesn't seem to believe me when i tell him how great looking he is and how over-all awesome he is. i guess i don't give him such a hard time because i have the same feelings and don't really believe him when he tells me otherwise. so how upset can i really get, huh?
and he really gets me. even when i don't understand myself or don't make much sense. he still gets me. he's definetely the reason for my sanity right now, that's for sure. he's my anchor and i'm not sure if he's realized that yet.
he's got a countdown on his myspace as to how many days it'll be until i get to see him. oh! which reminds me. i've been stressing how i was going to make it up there because of whatever is going on with some people i planned on going with. if you know my mom there is no way i would be able to drive up there myself to see him. and honestly with being raised like that i don't think i'd be able to make the trip alone without freaking out. anyways, his parents paid for a plane ticket (roundtrip)! isn't that amazing? i mean i knew they liked me but ... this is love. i appreciate it so very much.
but back to the countdown; it's at 37 days. it's adorable and very different from before to see that he's very excited about seeing me. i know that it's going to be about 10-ish months since i've seen him since then but, it's wonderful to see his emotions rather than have to wonder. he's so amazing, and i can't wait until i'm back in his arms.
lord knows you'll be getting a picture update once he's back !