they were my friends once, but i'm not who they knew
so i'm hanging out with a couple of guys i've known forever but rarely see(since like grade 5 or something). after i left sci i really lost touch with all of the kids that i used to hang out with everyday, playing video games and football with etc. everynow and then i have the opportunity to catch up with someone here and there, which usually results in some akward small talk and an excuse as to why i'm in a hurry and can't talk. well these two guys are pretty approachable and we got along great back in the day, so i wasn't miffed at shooting the shit for a while with them. now at first everything seems to be going well and theres a steady flow of conversation. as the afternoon progressed i decided to sneak myself a bump while they're in another room. slowly but surely i start to detect a bit of uncomfortable vibes from these guys. i chalked it up to sketch in my head and tried to continue being friendly. long story short i take off when everyones just sort of looking at the floor and forced chuckling every now and then. when i arrive at home i discover that dispite wiping my nose after my line it had dripped down a bit and had solidified into the tell tale caked on white circle around my left nostril. now, i'm not one to be concerned with this usually around my peers, my decisions arn't anyone elses to judge, but this is slightly different. when i last hung out with these kids i had only smoked weed and dropped mushrooms a handful of times. organics were seen as being less harmful by the oakbank kids, therefore while many of them wouldn't try it, they didn't really judge like they would chemicals. i had literally no real concept of what bitch was when i was running with them. they were really the socials of sci, and harshly judged the greasers (the moreless white trash esque portion of the school) who did drugs and were bad students etc etc etc. rumors spread fast in small towns, and i'm sure alot of my former compadres have already deemed me junkie, and i really don't see these people anymore so it doesn't matter i guess. but god damn, i'd like to at least leave something to the imagination. and since they're uneducated in their chemicals (i'm assuming since i really don't know what they've learned since grade 11) they've prolly replaced my bitch with coke, therefore i'm a feind now, and it's probably me whos stealing from unlocked cars and breaking into garages at night. thats really a reputation i'd rather do without.who knows, i might be respectable again some day.
i think i might get someone to put together a tragic and heartwarming film of a small town kid getting caught up in the wanton self destruction that is commonplace in the city. it will been historically accurate in displaying how under pressure to provide myself with drugs and occasionally entertainment without a steady cash flow much of the time, i still managed to keep myself on a positive plane by not scamming or stealing from anyone. a kind of optomistic sliver lining type movie that travels from swimming in gravy, to climbing through garbage (symbolically, i never had to dumpster dive to make ends meet), and then back to the safety of home. i'll show it to those people who i haven't seen in some time, but only the ones who i actually care of their opinions, but not to those that i think wouldn't care how touching the movie was, they're better than me because they've been comfortable while i've not. they can go to hell.
on the other hand, they may have more confidence in the normalcy of the guy who got all strung out opposed to the guy who got all strung out and made a movie about himself in a narcissistic and self centered plea for acceptance from people from their past. but think of the merch i could push, money money money!
NOW DRONE OFF!
i think i might get someone to put together a tragic and heartwarming film of a small town kid getting caught up in the wanton self destruction that is commonplace in the city. it will been historically accurate in displaying how under pressure to provide myself with drugs and occasionally entertainment without a steady cash flow much of the time, i still managed to keep myself on a positive plane by not scamming or stealing from anyone. a kind of optomistic sliver lining type movie that travels from swimming in gravy, to climbing through garbage (symbolically, i never had to dumpster dive to make ends meet), and then back to the safety of home. i'll show it to those people who i haven't seen in some time, but only the ones who i actually care of their opinions, but not to those that i think wouldn't care how touching the movie was, they're better than me because they've been comfortable while i've not. they can go to hell.
on the other hand, they may have more confidence in the normalcy of the guy who got all strung out opposed to the guy who got all strung out and made a movie about himself in a narcissistic and self centered plea for acceptance from people from their past. but think of the merch i could push, money money money!
NOW DRONE OFF!