Beowulf: Capsule Review

[drnuncheon]

Just got back from seeing Beowulf with Mrs. Nuncheon. Overall, sadly, I'd have to say that I was disappointed. There were some really great elements in the script, but they were overwhelmed for me by its flaws.


Stuff I liked:

The way that everything was tied together, with Grendel's mother being a sort of metaphor for the ambition and pride that makes a king, and the monstrous children being the consequences of that pride.

Wiglaf (possibly the only likable man in the entire movie, even if he was played by Gimli). "Do you want me to go in with you?" "No." "Good."

And now the bad stuff:

The "uncanny valley" was out full force in this movie. The characters looked so real that it was really distracting for me when things didn't behave the way they should - eyes, mouths, hair, the way people moved when they swam, the way nothing seems to have any weight when people pick it up. There's a lot of very subtle things that added up to bug me that wouldn't have bothered me in a more stylized type of animation.

Pretty much everyone other than Wiglaf. I'm OK with an unlikable hero - I made my way through most everything Steven Donaldson has written - but damn, give me some reason to like these guys! I was pretty much ready to root for Grendel by the time he showed up.

The fight scene with Beowulf and Grendel. The one apparently done by an action choreographer whose previous credits include Austin Powers, judging from the long string of conveniently-placed objects that exist solely to prevent the audience from getting a full-on view of Beowulf's mighty man-thing. He's naked, we get it. Show him from the waist up or something.

The amazing shrinking dragon. "Oh, I'll stab it in the heart! But I can't reach it with my sword! I know - I'll cut my own arm off!" (OK, that sounds a lot dumber than it really was in the film. That part made sense at the time.) "Oh no, I still can't reach it! And now I dropped my sword! I guess I'll just have to reach in and rip out its heart with my bare hand!". (Apparently the sword was somehow negative two feet long.)

Better technically than the 1999 Christopher Lambert Beowulf, but I had more fun mocking that one. Final Rating: 1 1/2 stars.