and i'm back
Finally back from my trip to Arizona, it was ok. Glad to have seen my cousins wedding and a good portion of my family. Not happy however to have had to spend the entire vacation with my family. I love em and all, but jesus christ when we're all together we do nothing but fight, over stupid shit too. Next family vacation we go on I'm making sure I don't have to spend the entire vacation with them heh. Oh yeah, Arizona was warm, New Hampshire is cold, I am in New Hampshire, I don't like being cold, therefore I am unhappy. Yay logic.
So I was gonna post something long and lame here but decided against it. Basically though, I've been feeling lonely. I think this wedding kinda set everything off more. The thing is, I know I don't want a girlfriend, they're fucking way too much trouble. I mean maybe if I knew it would be a good relationship and last more than a fucking month I'd be up for it, but that's never the case so fuck that. I think it's basically just that I don't feel needed by anyone anymore. Although honestly it's been a long time since I've felt that so who knows if that's really it. Hmmm, I said i was going to post something long and lame in hopes that I wouldn't but there I go. Oh well. I think it's more that I feel like there is nobody who really understands me anymore. I love my friends, but it's like each of them understands different aspects of me, but there really isn't anyone who truly understands me. Not to say I'm that complicated of a person, but, well, yeah, maybe I am. Perhaps it's my fault though, maybe I keep too much shit to myself because I'm embarassed or don't want to make people uncomfortable or because I don't trust them. But then again some of the people who I've been the closest to have found someway to dick me around, so maybe that's why I'm not always 100% honest about my thoughts and feelings. Who the fuck knows, more shit to think about I guess.
I hope this little depression isn't going to be a recurring thing as I've been really happy for the last few months. >.
So I was gonna post something long and lame here but decided against it. Basically though, I've been feeling lonely. I think this wedding kinda set everything off more. The thing is, I know I don't want a girlfriend, they're fucking way too much trouble. I mean maybe if I knew it would be a good relationship and last more than a fucking month I'd be up for it, but that's never the case so fuck that. I think it's basically just that I don't feel needed by anyone anymore. Although honestly it's been a long time since I've felt that so who knows if that's really it. Hmmm, I said i was going to post something long and lame in hopes that I wouldn't but there I go. Oh well. I think it's more that I feel like there is nobody who really understands me anymore. I love my friends, but it's like each of them understands different aspects of me, but there really isn't anyone who truly understands me. Not to say I'm that complicated of a person, but, well, yeah, maybe I am. Perhaps it's my fault though, maybe I keep too much shit to myself because I'm embarassed or don't want to make people uncomfortable or because I don't trust them. But then again some of the people who I've been the closest to have found someway to dick me around, so maybe that's why I'm not always 100% honest about my thoughts and feelings. Who the fuck knows, more shit to think about I guess.
I hope this little depression isn't going to be a recurring thing as I've been really happy for the last few months. >.