Myrtle Day Two
Well as those on Facebook know, it's not going well. When Brian wakes up this morning he's going to have a chat with his mom asking if we should just get in the car and leave.
My MIL is very lonely. We/I try to be understanding. BUT a lot of the problem is bad choices she made and continues to make. She chose to ask Brian's dad for a divorce. Yes, it's a more complicated situation than that but she's the one who didn't like the status quo. She chose to marry a second husband who was fiscally irresponsible and move with him to live near her brother in law. She chooses not to maintain contact with her step kids despite how hard they try. She wouldn't even see them last year when they were in the neighborhood for Thanksgiving and had offered to do all the cooking and cleaning at her house so she could be a part of it. And yes she works retail so I understand she knew it was going to be exhausting enough as it was but she could have been grateful or thankful not just all cranky about it.
The biggest conflict is she is so needy that she wants all of Brian's time and attention. Anything that takes Brian's attention off of her is not appreciated. It's exhausting enough dealing with three kids, one under two with medical issues on vacation. Adding in a 70 year old who never learned how to share and throws temper tantrums.....
I understand that we need to bee good house guests. I understand that with three boys and multiple food issues we aren't the easiest to host. But then comes being a gracious host. Yes, I brought three fabric grocery bags full of food and medicine for my family. I stored them in the pantry, out of the way, behind a closeddoor. Yet, I get comments multiple times a day about them taking up space etc....
About the maple syrup; Brian mentioned how Virgil likes maple syrup and we use it to get him to take his medication. Linda said she had some. I did not utter a peep in response. I did not say what went through my head which was, "No you don't! There is no way that you would pay $20 for a jug of maple syrup." Because who knows maybe she had an old tourist bottle or something. But as soon as I walked in from the pool she proudly announces she's found the maple syrup. She then hands me an old bottle of Food Lion brand pancake syrup. I tried to be polite. I took it and said, "that's not maple syrup but let me check the ingredients," read label, "nope, he's allergic to this." Hand bottle back. If someone has any thoughts on how to be more diplomatic in that situation fire away. You could see from her body language she felt personally rejected.
Another fight we keep having is she just wants us to use disposable plates and cups. Leaving aside the frustration for me as a conscientious environmentalist and the fact all those chemicals also leach into the food you're eating she washes and reuses them. Which means they aren't clean. And it's not about making less work since she's still washing the dishes! I did tell her that due to Virgil's food issues that I just couldn't feel safe using them but again every time I get down a dish I get glares and occasionally questioned if I really need to take another one. I got to the dishes ahead of her once and got snide comments about it.
Last night she refused to come to the baseball game at the last minute mostly because she was mad about Virgil breaking her ceramic pitcher. But partly because I went to bring in the swim suits and she'd already brought them in and thrown them in the dryer on heavy high. I insisted on pulling my suit and Virgil's out and there was a whole conversation:
L. Whining, "Well Brian said they could go in the dryer."
Me "Brian is a man. He can go buy a new suit for $10 not $150. He doesn't understand women's clothes."
L. "Well he said it was okay."
Me continue to placate and repeat that he wouldn't realize it was a problem. While pulling out my suit and Virgil's neoprene wet suit.
About the breakage of sentimental objects. Given her house is kitten proofed its usually not that hard to keep the kids from breaking anything more than a plastic cat toy here and there. It's just unfortunate that we've broken two pieces of ceramic this trip. The biggest problem. Is she has lots of knick knacks and a deceased husband so every little piece is sentimental. Again if she loved her grand kids I think she could get past a nearly two year old pulling ceramic down on his head while using a toilet or at least show one little ounce of concern. She never asked or checked if he got cut. She was angry at Virgil and showed not one iota of concern for him because she views him as her competitor for Brian's attention.
Off to breakfast, enough hiding upstairs avoiding a fresh round of glares for using dishes and not eating food that will kill my son.