This can't be happening.
I woke up this morning with a sore throat. It felt like strep but without the pain. I was frustrated enough thinking it was allergies or a virus. This afternoon, Virgil discovered the formula juice boxes. He wanted one. He drank one. He instantly had congested breathing. I gave him Benadryl and it didn't seem to upset him that he was so congested. He was manic and clumsy and finally nursed to sleep. He woke up drenched in sweat.
On the way out the door I mixed up some of the same brand of formula for me to drink. After I drank it I realized that my throat hadn't been feeling swollen and now was. Great, Virgil and I are both allergic to the elemental formula you shouldn't be allergic too. That or it's just caustic to mucus membranes somehow.
What started out as a really good day is ending up as a start sobbing randomly one. Virgil's legs were completely clear this am. He was so happy and full of energy. He's such a happy good natured little guy that it's easy to not realize when he's feeling off. I haven't seen him this happy in months. It's the I'm so happy I can't contain it and nearly seizuring with happiness.
Yesterday, my friend Michelle came over and folded all my laundry. Yay!
So it was a really good morning that crashed and burned around 3 PM. There were moments when I wondered if I should ask for some Xanax or something. I just don't know that it'll help. My sadness and helplessness doesn't seem unreasonable or out of proportion to the current crisis. Not to mention its one more possible allergen.
My kids are so sweet. Galen and Perry for the most part are very understanding that mommy is trying her hardest even if it's all falling apart. I showed up late to pick them up at school. After religious school I spent some time in the sanctuary praying while they ran with Virgil (who was sans diaper since he signed toilet and probably was telling me he'd just gone but possibly couldn't wait until we waded through the crowd. But, hey 19 months and he's signing when he goes! The problem of leaving him diaper free is his pants suddenly get really loose and start falling off. ). Anyway, Galen came into the sanctuary and asked why I was crying.
We came home and the boys made their own dinner (PB&J). Then as I'm trying to sweep the popcorn Virgil spilled, get Perry to do chores and into bed; Galen calls out from the bathroom. Now, he wants to tell me what they studied in religious school today, The Holocaust. Right, he couldn't have done this on the 30 minute drive home? In my head I'm just vacillating between the importance of checking he's okay having been introduced to such a weighty scary subject and telling myself he's more important and the fact if I don't sweep up the popcorn it'll be all over everyone's feet and the ants are already ridiculous and I just really want to finish a chore.
The Maryland allergist called in an RX for enzymes for me. E-mailed me they're not in stock but the store was ordering them. It just supports my theory, scrap health insurance and pay cash. The one doctor taking me seriously and who almost always gets back in touch with me w/in 24 hrs is the one we pay out of pocket.