realmof_themuse 2009.24 - 7/12/2009
Who do you envy in the world, and why?
I don't really believe in envying anyone. It seems like a wasted emotion, a whole realm of misplaced and pointless exertion. Most things that are envied, a person can get if they want them enough or work hard enough, something like that. It's easy to hate someone for what they have if you're too lazy to try for it yourself. Hating is easy. It's getting further away from that hate and making it into something more that makes a person into something more. And we really can have anything that we want, it's just a matter of wanting it enough to go out and get it.
But with that all in mind, if I absolutely had to choose a person I envied and why, I think I'd choose a mindset rather than a specific person.
I would most envy a person who could go to sleep at night without any kind of burden on their mind. That's something, a luxury, really, that I don't get to do or experience. That would be someone worth envying, a person who can lay down and close their eyes and just drift into a more relaxed, content state of mind, a real kind of sleep. Something that was luxurious and real, restful and complete.
That kind of sleep is one I haven't had in years. I can remember the last time I did, and it was when I was much younger, when I still wore glitter on my cheekbones and shiny lip gloss to pretend at being more grown up than I was. When I was six years old I could still pirouette around in satin shoes, pretend they were ballet slippers and think I could dance if I wanted to. That was the last time I had a real sleep like that, when I was young and still believed in happy endings.
If there's anyone who still can sleep like that at night, that would be the person I would envy.
Muse: Lisa Cuddy
Fandom: House M.D.
Word Count: 328