(no subject)
I'm sitting here... trying to do my CS homework.. but failing. It's not just because I suck at CS, but mostly because of the pictures that are all over my desk. I've got pictures of someone that reminds me how beautiful life can be. She looks so young in these senior pictures.. I'm lucky to have been able to watch her mature physically and mentally. I'm afraid, though, that I've messed things up too much for repair. I hate having the thought in my head that I may not get to see her grow much more.. she's so special to me and I really am apalled at how I treated her. I really have no way to justify my actions.. I was stupid. Very stupid.
I've said that I'll never give up.. but now I'm not sure what the right thing to do is.. I hate seeing her hurt so badly, and until I came into her life, I don't think she had ever hurt in this way. I'm awful.
I've quit drinking. I haven't drank since Spring Break and I'm feeling very good about it. Sometimes it is good to have inhibitions... getting rid of them with alcohol isn't always the best idea. For God's sake, if you wouldn't do something when you are sober, you sure as hell aren't supposed to do it when you are drunk. It's not an excuse for actions.
Stacie, I love you more than anything, and I know you love me too. I'm sorry for my idiocy and you know I will do anything to make it up to you. You're worth more than anything to me... I'll give you as much time as you need..
Don't let go...
I've said that I'll never give up.. but now I'm not sure what the right thing to do is.. I hate seeing her hurt so badly, and until I came into her life, I don't think she had ever hurt in this way. I'm awful.
I've quit drinking. I haven't drank since Spring Break and I'm feeling very good about it. Sometimes it is good to have inhibitions... getting rid of them with alcohol isn't always the best idea. For God's sake, if you wouldn't do something when you are sober, you sure as hell aren't supposed to do it when you are drunk. It's not an excuse for actions.
Stacie, I love you more than anything, and I know you love me too. I'm sorry for my idiocy and you know I will do anything to make it up to you. You're worth more than anything to me... I'll give you as much time as you need..
Don't let go...