What do chickens think we taste like?
Ok, so i changed the back again... i just thought it was hella cute... it was titled "Proof of Marriage in the Animal Kingdom"!
If you didnt see the last one, then
As i was looking around, i found a coupla cute little pick me up notes... check it out....
- Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
- One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. (THIS ONE'S FOR NALANI AND JUSTIN!)
- The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
- I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
- If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him -- is he still wrong? (yes.... yes he is....(:)
- What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
- If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
- Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
- One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
- Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
- Women like silent men, they think they're listening.
- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
- If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
- If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
- If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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- If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kittylitter?
- What do chickens think we taste like?
- What do people in China call their good plates?
- Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
- Why are there Interstates in Hawaii? (Another one for me and Nalani to figure out...)
- If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?
- If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil? (I know it's old, but hey.... it's still funny...)
- If a cow laughs, does milk come out of her nose?
- Why is that when you transport something by car it's called shipment, but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?
- What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?
- If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?( A little political brain food...)
- If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
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"TOP OXYMORONS:"
34. Legally drunk
33. Exact estimate
32. Act naturally
31. Found missing
30. Resident alien
29. Genuine imitation
28. Airline food
27. Good grief
26. Government organization
25. Sanitary landfill
24. Alone together
23. Small crowd
22. Business ethics
21. Soft rock
20. Amtrak schedule
19. Military intelligence
18. Sweet sorrow
17. Compassionate conservative
16. "Now, then ..."
15. Passive aggression
14. Clearly misunderstood
13. Peace force
12. Extinct life
11. Plastic glasses
10. Terribly pleased
9. Computer security
8. Political science
7. Tight slacks
6. Definite maybe
5. Pretty ugly
4. Rap music
3. Working vacation
2. Religious tolerance
And the No. 1 oxymoron
1. Microsoft Works