Fear and Loathing in the 21st Century
I guess it's time to look back on the past ten years in politics. There was Bill Clinton, who left in what many consider disgrace, the result of a sexual addiction and complete lack of shame, rather than any policy position, the state of the union, or even the first lady's cankles.
And it ended with election results that lasted three weeks, when Al Gore, in his Forrest Gump drawl, had to admit that Bush had more people in his corner. The Democrats had the Florida Courts, Republicans the State Attorney General and Supreme Court, and every single one of them acted along party lines. Counts, recounts, chads, I can't really remember anymore.
Bush was an imbecile, but a committed imbecile, and you had to admire that kind of consistency. The raw ability to always choose the worst course of action, the most infantile turn of phrase, an explanation for terrorism that couldn't pass the descernment of a seven year old with a "B" average.
"What does he mean, they hate freedom?"
"Never mind, Joey. He's trying the best he can."
There was Dick Cheney, who many thought was really giving the orders, after getting them from Haliburton, Exxon Mobil, the Gnomes of Zurich, some South American drug cartel, and other assorted interests we'll probably never know about. It was hard to tell with Cheney. Had he not gotten into politics he probably would have interogated prisoners for some covert government agency, or just drifted into alcoholism, as he made obscene phone calls to retirement homes and girl scout headquarters. An avid hunter, but ultimately a poor shot and a mean drunk. I don't think he was ever diagnosed as criminally insane, but I don't think it would surprise anyone if he was.
Then there was Condi Rice, who I have to admit, I always felt sorry for, wondering what was going through her head all those years. Thoughts like, "I am an intellligent black woman, standing besides one of the dumbest men on earth, who, through some freak of circumstances, also happens to be one of the most powerful. Do I really have to read these statement to the press? Who is going to believe it? Who will hire me after this?"
She always seemed to have an expression on her face like the actors in diarrhea commercials who wish they weren't at Judy's soccer match.
And Colon Powell, once a respected General, who seemed to realize the error early on of accepting a job with a village idiot, forced to justify his idiocy to the world, with maps and charts of imaginary weapons.
There was Carl Rove, a Rush Limbaugh look-a-like, hired to sell snake oil to the masses and a drinking buddy to the voting public. Campaign managers are basically used car salesmen without the ethics. The products they sell won't break down, they will pick your pockets while fucking your dog. What do you call someone who's lower on the ethics totem pole than a Washington politician? Rasputin in Armani?
Then there was Rumsfeld, who not only sanctioned torture, but probably enjoyed it himself. A perverse and demented little man, reminiscent of Bush senior, managing to come off as effeminite and darkly sinister at the same time, like one of the Blue Meanies, only this guy had a better attorney. An Asian man hired to tell to Congress why torture isn't torture if you call it something else, criticizing the government is an act of treason, and Habeus Corpus is overrated.
Collectively they formed a sort of demented Adam's family, brought together by different goals, but common interests. A doctrine that, in all fairness, Sarah Palin had a right not to grasp, since no one else could either. It was illegal, unconstitutional, in fact anti-constitutional, fiscally irresponsible, morally reprehensible, lacking in vision and clarity what it made up for in avarice and stupidity.
Someone flew a few planes into buildings, and we were fighting the Taliban alongside the Northern Alliance. Iraq, Iran and Korea decide to use Euros instead of dollars to trade oil in, threatening the collapse of the dollar, with a pipeline waiting to be built, building contracts up for grabs, and suddenly we were at war with Iraq as well.
It is still hard to grasp the official explanation for the war because it changed so many times. Something about weapons inspectors, his father's golf scores, love of freedom, several Jackie Chan movies, I couldn't always follow the logic and never really paid much attention anyway.
There are people I ignore when they talk, out of fear their stupidity will rub off on me, and eventually make sense. Taliban bad, Hussein evil, fine. Get it over with, and tell me when it's over. It never was. Hell, we overthrew him, captured him, held elections, quieted civil unrest, but deep down, I know the purpose of a war on terror is it is one that will never end, means years of building contracts, black armed mercinaries making 10 times what actual soldiers do.
George Bush was like the teenager you loan a car too who brings it home on a tow truck after a night of drinking. Wrecking the economy, ruining any international good will we had in the wake of 911, watching a city drown on closed circuit TV, alongside a FEMA head who was not qualified to organize a tricky tray, much less rescue operation, and a real estate and bank failure who's culprits are too many to mention, involving both parties, several industries, greedy mortage officers, arrogant but clueless investors, Fannie, Freddie, Ben Bernanke, Alan Greenspan, deregulation going back decades over various administrations, and just a general feeling that the lunatics are running the asylum, and terrorists or not, no one was flying the plane.
A year later it would be nice to say a lot has changed, but I can't. I hope the next ten years are better, though it is very possible it will only get worse. We've probably peaked. Shot our proverbial load. Run out of steam. We're over the hill, over committed, in over our heads, in debt to our ears, in everybody's business, and there is no sign we can change.
So load those Ritalin numbed, obese children into that gas guzzling Cherokee, and take them to Wendy's or the mall, while they watch The Rugrats on a DVD player, and whine "Are we there yet?" There yet? Oh you just wait. We've got a few surprises for your generation and Barney will be out of town. Thomas the Train, in the shop. The Teletubbies, on hold. Yeah, we're fucked. But face it, it wasn't just George Bush or Barack Obama. It's the general gluttony, greed, hypocracy, arrogance, stupidity, and self righteous sense of entitlement that will leave the next generation in a land with no money, oil, clean water, jobs, culture or hope. Now who's buying the next round?
And it ended with election results that lasted three weeks, when Al Gore, in his Forrest Gump drawl, had to admit that Bush had more people in his corner. The Democrats had the Florida Courts, Republicans the State Attorney General and Supreme Court, and every single one of them acted along party lines. Counts, recounts, chads, I can't really remember anymore.
Bush was an imbecile, but a committed imbecile, and you had to admire that kind of consistency. The raw ability to always choose the worst course of action, the most infantile turn of phrase, an explanation for terrorism that couldn't pass the descernment of a seven year old with a "B" average.
"What does he mean, they hate freedom?"
"Never mind, Joey. He's trying the best he can."
There was Dick Cheney, who many thought was really giving the orders, after getting them from Haliburton, Exxon Mobil, the Gnomes of Zurich, some South American drug cartel, and other assorted interests we'll probably never know about. It was hard to tell with Cheney. Had he not gotten into politics he probably would have interogated prisoners for some covert government agency, or just drifted into alcoholism, as he made obscene phone calls to retirement homes and girl scout headquarters. An avid hunter, but ultimately a poor shot and a mean drunk. I don't think he was ever diagnosed as criminally insane, but I don't think it would surprise anyone if he was.
Then there was Condi Rice, who I have to admit, I always felt sorry for, wondering what was going through her head all those years. Thoughts like, "I am an intellligent black woman, standing besides one of the dumbest men on earth, who, through some freak of circumstances, also happens to be one of the most powerful. Do I really have to read these statement to the press? Who is going to believe it? Who will hire me after this?"
She always seemed to have an expression on her face like the actors in diarrhea commercials who wish they weren't at Judy's soccer match.
And Colon Powell, once a respected General, who seemed to realize the error early on of accepting a job with a village idiot, forced to justify his idiocy to the world, with maps and charts of imaginary weapons.
There was Carl Rove, a Rush Limbaugh look-a-like, hired to sell snake oil to the masses and a drinking buddy to the voting public. Campaign managers are basically used car salesmen without the ethics. The products they sell won't break down, they will pick your pockets while fucking your dog. What do you call someone who's lower on the ethics totem pole than a Washington politician? Rasputin in Armani?
Then there was Rumsfeld, who not only sanctioned torture, but probably enjoyed it himself. A perverse and demented little man, reminiscent of Bush senior, managing to come off as effeminite and darkly sinister at the same time, like one of the Blue Meanies, only this guy had a better attorney. An Asian man hired to tell to Congress why torture isn't torture if you call it something else, criticizing the government is an act of treason, and Habeus Corpus is overrated.
Collectively they formed a sort of demented Adam's family, brought together by different goals, but common interests. A doctrine that, in all fairness, Sarah Palin had a right not to grasp, since no one else could either. It was illegal, unconstitutional, in fact anti-constitutional, fiscally irresponsible, morally reprehensible, lacking in vision and clarity what it made up for in avarice and stupidity.
Someone flew a few planes into buildings, and we were fighting the Taliban alongside the Northern Alliance. Iraq, Iran and Korea decide to use Euros instead of dollars to trade oil in, threatening the collapse of the dollar, with a pipeline waiting to be built, building contracts up for grabs, and suddenly we were at war with Iraq as well.
It is still hard to grasp the official explanation for the war because it changed so many times. Something about weapons inspectors, his father's golf scores, love of freedom, several Jackie Chan movies, I couldn't always follow the logic and never really paid much attention anyway.
There are people I ignore when they talk, out of fear their stupidity will rub off on me, and eventually make sense. Taliban bad, Hussein evil, fine. Get it over with, and tell me when it's over. It never was. Hell, we overthrew him, captured him, held elections, quieted civil unrest, but deep down, I know the purpose of a war on terror is it is one that will never end, means years of building contracts, black armed mercinaries making 10 times what actual soldiers do.
George Bush was like the teenager you loan a car too who brings it home on a tow truck after a night of drinking. Wrecking the economy, ruining any international good will we had in the wake of 911, watching a city drown on closed circuit TV, alongside a FEMA head who was not qualified to organize a tricky tray, much less rescue operation, and a real estate and bank failure who's culprits are too many to mention, involving both parties, several industries, greedy mortage officers, arrogant but clueless investors, Fannie, Freddie, Ben Bernanke, Alan Greenspan, deregulation going back decades over various administrations, and just a general feeling that the lunatics are running the asylum, and terrorists or not, no one was flying the plane.
A year later it would be nice to say a lot has changed, but I can't. I hope the next ten years are better, though it is very possible it will only get worse. We've probably peaked. Shot our proverbial load. Run out of steam. We're over the hill, over committed, in over our heads, in debt to our ears, in everybody's business, and there is no sign we can change.
So load those Ritalin numbed, obese children into that gas guzzling Cherokee, and take them to Wendy's or the mall, while they watch The Rugrats on a DVD player, and whine "Are we there yet?" There yet? Oh you just wait. We've got a few surprises for your generation and Barney will be out of town. Thomas the Train, in the shop. The Teletubbies, on hold. Yeah, we're fucked. But face it, it wasn't just George Bush or Barack Obama. It's the general gluttony, greed, hypocracy, arrogance, stupidity, and self righteous sense of entitlement that will leave the next generation in a land with no money, oil, clean water, jobs, culture or hope. Now who's buying the next round?