(no subject)
Right, to save everybody from having to stay in and watch friends tonight, allow me to spoil the plot for you
Um, Ross's monkey comes back, but it's big now, and it's one fucking angry ape. It eats him and steals Chandler and Monica's baby.
Will she or won't she? Rachel's not sure, so no fucking change there. But is it to be New York, Paris, London, Tehran? After dithering pointlessly through the entire episode she ends up plumping for a suprise last-minute offer designing shapeless yashmaks for Iran's Department for Not Showing Provocative Ankles. Ross will be devastated you're thinking? TRY TO KEEP UP - he already got eaten by the fucking monkey.
Um Chandler and Monica jump off a building with grief or something, thus maintaining their trend of not having done anything interesting at all since they started talking about fucking babies.
OH MY GOD. I forgot about Janice. Turns out she was an Al-Queida operative the whole time. Yes, I always said she was evil. Anyway, the plot to shout OH MY GOD at the resonant frequency of New York, thus shattering the whole thing, is foiled at the last minute when co-conspiritor, um, Gunther blurts out the terrible truth. She attempts to make a getaway using Joey as a human shield, but the authorities point out that he scarcely counts, and both are killed in a hail of moderate criticism.
OH NO, you'll be thinking at this point (if indeed you are still thinking at this point. It's after the second ad break, and if I haven't drifted off to sleep, i've usually drifted off to the kitchen to make a cup of tea), OH NO. With Joey dead, isn't next season's spin off going to be rather flat. Well, that's the next suprise. It's not going to be called Joey at all - it's going to be called Phoebe and Joey (deceased), and is going to be about a whacky bag lady who runs a detective agency with a little help from her dead partner. The first mystery to be solved is what happened to the audience?
All the other loose ends will be left hanging, in the hopes of heartlessly milking the franchise for more followups: the original cast have grandchildren to put through college you know.
Um, Ross's monkey comes back, but it's big now, and it's one fucking angry ape. It eats him and steals Chandler and Monica's baby.
Will she or won't she? Rachel's not sure, so no fucking change there. But is it to be New York, Paris, London, Tehran? After dithering pointlessly through the entire episode she ends up plumping for a suprise last-minute offer designing shapeless yashmaks for Iran's Department for Not Showing Provocative Ankles. Ross will be devastated you're thinking? TRY TO KEEP UP - he already got eaten by the fucking monkey.
Um Chandler and Monica jump off a building with grief or something, thus maintaining their trend of not having done anything interesting at all since they started talking about fucking babies.
OH MY GOD. I forgot about Janice. Turns out she was an Al-Queida operative the whole time. Yes, I always said she was evil. Anyway, the plot to shout OH MY GOD at the resonant frequency of New York, thus shattering the whole thing, is foiled at the last minute when co-conspiritor, um, Gunther blurts out the terrible truth. She attempts to make a getaway using Joey as a human shield, but the authorities point out that he scarcely counts, and both are killed in a hail of moderate criticism.
OH NO, you'll be thinking at this point (if indeed you are still thinking at this point. It's after the second ad break, and if I haven't drifted off to sleep, i've usually drifted off to the kitchen to make a cup of tea), OH NO. With Joey dead, isn't next season's spin off going to be rather flat. Well, that's the next suprise. It's not going to be called Joey at all - it's going to be called Phoebe and Joey (deceased), and is going to be about a whacky bag lady who runs a detective agency with a little help from her dead partner. The first mystery to be solved is what happened to the audience?
All the other loose ends will be left hanging, in the hopes of heartlessly milking the franchise for more followups: the original cast have grandchildren to put through college you know.