Catch-Up
Since it has been so long since my last update, I am going to update in free-thoughtform-mode!!! First off, I haven't had TIME to BREATHE these past 3 months!!! :sigh: I absolutely HATE how I couldn’t keep my journal updated as much as I used to, but hopefully things stay calm, as they are now, for a while, so I can continue updating regularly again. I think I need to start in April, sooo here I go:
APRIL:
TORI AMOS! haha! That's pretty much all of April. I spent the WHOLE month following Tori on her 1st U.S. leg of her "Original Sinsuality" tour. For the shows I didn't make it to, I would wait & watch for the setlist to come in, song by song, on a friend's webpage. He would text msg. a friend, who would then post it for everyone. Not only did I do this, but in May, I also downloaded/made CD's of EVERY show from the 1st leg of the tour when I returned!!! Nuts???..., yes I know!!! hahaha
I also found MANY past Tori concerts to download & burn to DVD! This took up a lot of my time! You see, between the CD making & DVD making (as well as labels & typing up the setlists with all of this), I was just GONE!!! I taught myself all about .FLAC, .SHN, .OGG, .VOB, .IFO, .BUP, etc... files & how to go about converting them to burn & back up to CD.(& to play on my 'puter).
Backing up a tiny bit here; I met one of my best friend's, Jason-from Minneapolis, up in San Francisco to go see Tori together!!! It was soo nice to hang out in a different city with him AND my ex-boyfriend, Roger---who flew with me from L.A. Roger was so nice to pay for my plane ticket as my b-day gift!!! SO very nice of him!!! When we got into San Fran., we immediately went to meet Jason at the Hotel. We stayed right downtown, a couple of blocks from the venue!!! (Davies Symphony Hall);It was awesomeness!!! Anyway, we got all checked in & then decided to go walk around the Haight & Castro area's. We all did some shopping; I found some kick ass shoes I wanted to buy last fall from a store here, in L.A., but they were $250.00!!! @ the Melrose shopping area. These were on-sale for $60.00 so I snatched them up!!! I also got some really nice clothes, some YUMMY-SMELL-GOOD stuff for baths, & a few other things from various stores along Haight St. I will post some pics to accompany my updates. ;) This is going to be another :sigh: LONG one, but I NEED to catch up before I can move on & get my current thoughts typed out. SO ANYWAY, as I was saying, we went out for a bit to do some sight-seeing & shopping!
That night when we returned to the hotel room,around 7pm-ish?, we noticed there was trouble with the toilet!!! We called the downstairs & to make a LONG story short: After much patience & politeness, we finally asked them if there was another room available because the maintenance guy couldn't fix the toilet 100%; he told us it would take about 3-4 hours to be semi-dry; So the front desk manager told Roger over the phone that there weren't any other rooms open & that they were completely booked for the weekend!!! I then asked Roger to call back to see if they would kindly give us info. on other hotels in the area that might have another room. He decided to just go handle it face to face & that got us somewhere!!! They upgraded us to a much nicer room on the top floor, so that was nice!!! The next day was the day of the concert & I was excited to go to the meet & greet WITH Jason!!! Well, a few days prior---at last minute, Jason decided that he didn't want to do the meet & greet with me, to see Tori, so I was really disappointed over this because I knew that I wouldn't make it in time to the next day's meet & greet, in L.A.(I flew back home on the 25th to go see Tori with Rick---it was the last show of that leg's tour). I decided to walk over to the venue anyway to see if it was really crowded & if I was too late to go ahead & go alone!!! :-( Well, when I got there, I only saw 10 people. I knew 6 of the 10 people! haha So I said hello to Kate, & I didn't have an interest in saying hello to any of the other's because of past drama with them. Since there weren't many people there, I thought Jason might want to come hang out with me. I tell Kate good-bye, & kindly told her that I didn't want to do the meet & greet for my own reasons.(I didn't want to tell her that I didn't want to hang out with her because she was hanging around people I can't stand to be around---they have this certain mentality that is just INSANE!!!---but I don't have time to get into that right now!). I walked back over to the Hotel room to snatch Jason up before more people arrived for the meet & greet. WELL, :sigh: :sigh: :sigh:...Jason and I got into an argument because he didn't want to go. You see, I paid for his concert ticket for another EX-friend, originally. When I explained to Jason that I had an extra ticket, he was ALL FOR going to the meet & greet & just having an "ALL-TORI" DAY/NIGHT!!! Boy did THAT change FAST before we got into San Francisco!!! 3 days to be exact he-he-he!!!
It may seem childish to other's but come on!!! He's my BEST FRIEND that I've known since 1997!!! UGH! He KNOWS how important this was to me!!! ESPECIALLY after telling him that I gave Tori a VERY Special letter & bag of "Tori-Goodies" at the March 13th, Tower Records signing!!! I wanted THIS particular meet & greet in S.F. to be my last... I also wanted to go to see her reaction to my letter.(I got reactions in other ways---more on that to come...). So, we basically WASTED the whole fucking afternoon arguing!!! I finally put a stop to it & said, "FINE!!! We'll go back to Haight I guess, so I can buy that other pair of shoes I wanted!"----& that's what we did, as well as running back over to the Castro so that Roger could pick up a gift for a friend of his. When we returned from that, Jason and I started to get cleaned up & ready to go to the Tori concert. This was the ONLY time during the trip that I even felt a LITTLE bit like I was having a Tori "experience" in San Francisco! Damn this pissed me off!!! So, we smoke a lot of pot & I take an extra pill of mine to relax myself from the days arguing.(I had had a panic attack earlier that day from the fighting!)... When we got to the venue, I immediately ran into Sammy J!!! She lives down here in L.A. too, so it was so GREAT to see her! HAD I KNOWN that SHE was going to SF AND the Meet & Greet that day, then NONE of the arguing with Jason would have happened, etc. hahaha, so it was pretty fucked up that I ran into her! We talk a lot through email, but neither of us mentioned we were going to S.F. to see Tori! haha Well, the show started & that was it!!! I was "back" in my Tori world & forgot about everything that had happened that day(even though I was still pissed at Jason, I blocked it all out to enjoy the show!). I loved the show!!! It was like a mix of what I saw in '96 & '01!!! It was sooo good! The ONLY thing missing from this tour was the Harpsichord!!! Other than that, it was PERFECT!!! As I said though, I had already seen & heard the other shows, but this show had extra "magick" for some reason! The show ended & I tried to get backstage just to give her this last little note & bracelet I got in Hawai'i from a Shaman Woman. blah! I started talking to this woman & she said that I was breaking her heart & that she'd LOVE to do this for me this ONE time, BUT unfortunately, she wasn't holding any backstage meetings that night because she was going straight down to L.A. & that she did!!! :-( So I thought, o.k., well, I'll just give it to her after the L.A. show, the next night. The next day I return back to L.A. SOOO relieved to see Rick, my LOVE!!! He is always SOO FUCKING understanding & ALWAYS supportive of what I want to do!!! He knows & just has this TRUE understanding of how my back trouble, & anxiety disorder fuck with me a lot too, so this is an extra special reason as to why I LOVE him SOO much. Jason and Roger love me, yeah yeah yeah, BUT they just DON'T understand how much I needed ONE of them to be with me(***sammy j would've been fine too, but I didnt know she'd be going as I said); It's like, they don't understand how bad my anxiety can get *out of the blue*, so this is why I really wanted one of them to be with me at the Meet & Greet, but ohhhhhh no. Boo to them! So, as I was saying, it was so nice to come back home to find my love ready & willing to go along with anything I wanted to do on "Tori-Day" with him. ;] He is such a true gentleman!!! Oh really quick here; Before leaving to come back home to L.A., I told Jason that next time he is buying his own ticket & can do his own thang in SF if he wanted to meet up again because ALL of my extra future Tori tickets are going to my sister. She is also just as crazy about Tori still, so she will be the one I give future tix to when Rick can't join me. So Rick and I go to the L.A. show that night & it was even MORE magickal!!! I was lucky & got my tickets upgraded to front row back in March!!! So this was extra-super special!!! As Tori was playing, she looked up & recognized me(I've been following her since '93). She gave out a huuuuuge grin & then went str8 into "Cool On Your Island" & then "doughnut song"!!!! hehe, I thought this was cute since she KNOWS I have an obsession with PELE (her cd & the goddess PELE). We had eye contact off & on for the rest of the night. After the show I remembered what the woman told me what she told me in S.F. the night before, so I told Rick to wait a little bit to see if I could find the woman to try & get backstage. Of course I had forgotten the letter & bracelet in the car!!! OF COURSE!!! UGH! So Rick ran back to the car for me as fast as he could to grab my stuff to give to her & by the time he got back they had shut the doors. :sigh:...so I'm reallllly hoping that I can get this LAST letter & bracelet to her on the 2nd leg coming up this fall---then I'm DONE with meet & greets forever. I've met/talked with Tori 7 times since '96, so I'm more than happy with that. Some people have met her 1,000,000 times---but they are the greedy, shallow, etc. fans, in my opinion. At one point, all of "us" Tori fans were pretty much the "same"---back in the early 90's----then something changed in her fan base around 1998; it's like these stuck-up, CLUELESS people found her & thought it was "cool" to like her. hahahaha. Yeah, something like this. I mean, there were fans like this prior, but very few from my experience. Also, not ALL "new" fans from '98 to NOW are those things, but trust me, :sigh:...there are a lot. If you don't believe me, you can just go check out these SAD FREAKS in Tori's area of @forumz.com. Anyway, THOSE are the FREAKS(& not the good kind of freaks either), that feel they have to be first in line at EVERY meet & greet, signing, tv appearances, & just EVERYTHING!!! I feel I should let other's that haven't had the opportunity to meet Tori, to get their chance too; So this is why I just want to say "good-bye" for a while, even though I'll still go support her shows. April was a month filled with MANY surprises, much happiness & a couple of disappointments. Overall, though, I will always have beautiful memories of April 2005 because of her performances.
MAY:
The first 2 weeks of May were spent finishing up the CD's & DVD's for myself & friends! Again. let me stress TIME-CONSUMING here!!! I am SO glad to be down with all of those downloads, conversions, & labeling!!! I made a total of 80 audio cd's, 40 back-up cd's, & 80 DVD's!!! NOW things start getting even better!!!(I didn't think it was possible after April's touring!! ha!) I had decided to dip into my money to go buy myself a b-day gift from Guitar Center! I really wanted this "micro-KORG" mini-synth & vocoder that was on sale for $400.00!!! When I first saw these in 2000, they were $1,500!!! SOO, I went ahead & bought this! Then I got to thinking...":sigh:, I really should've spent the money on professional speakers, so maybe I can spend $150.00 more on myself & then quit spending money!". I went back to Guitar Center to find that they are $150.00 for EACH speaker, not for a pair as I thought before! hahaha---silly me! I'm new to this field though, so what did I know? I'm learning....I'm learning a lot! Anyway, so I came home depressed & had a long talk with my honey about how I needed professional equipment & a program to make professional music; but most importantly, at that point, professional speakers to HEAR fine detail of my music!!! Well, he felt bad because he's been trying to help me get this going since 2001!!! He said that he would help me get the speakers & an electric piano for my music room. (I already had my 76-key Roland Fantom---which came out in 2001---we got it a year ago on-sale for $1,300...) So we go to Guitar Center that night & my world was FILLED with HAPPINESS!!! At this very moment, I'm STILL overly-excited! Rick went behind my back, as I was smoking a cigarette outside on a break from looking at gear, & started negotiating with a salesman for EVERYTHING I told him I wanted & needed to get GREAT QUALITY recordings, etc. I had tears of happiness swell up in my eyes because I have never had someone do something THIS NICE in a LOOOOOOONG time!!! A VERY LONG time! So, I ended up getting:
1. a Roland Fantom X8!!!---My DREAM keyboard!!!(for $3,000)
2. 2 professional Mics I've wanted---One Condensor & One Dynamic
3. Mic Stands/clips
4. A new Mixer for all instruments
5. The M-Box with the program, Pro Tools
6. 2 PROFESSIONAL KRK Speakers
7. ALL cables I needed
8. A double-stack keyboard stand!!!
I could NOT believe this was happening!!! Rick told me that he was tired of seeing me struggle & getting frustrated not being able to create, so that is why he just threw in the towel & spent the money! He considered this my BIG b-day gift!!! LOL I was MORE than fine with that! hahah! I am fine with it being my b-day, yule, anniversary, etc...an ALL YEAR gift!!! hee! I'm still excited & can't believe I own all of this beautiful equipment!!! I have wanted this stuff for sooooo long but I could never keep money saved because something ALWAYS comes up, causing me to spend what money I had saved!!! So this was a very EXTRA-Special b-day for me! The thing is, it wasn't even my b-day! ha! This was early May. I spent the next 2 weeks working on getting it all set-up & reading some on the new keyboards & such. After this big surprise, things slowed down a bit again & I was able to contact my family as usual & catch up a little with everyone via phone.
Next, May 13th rolled around & I went to see ADULT.!!! I LOVE ADULT. even MORE NOW!!! I LOVE them soo much more performing on stage! I thought they were more popular for some reason & had imagined their show being like any other artist's but I was sooo wrong! When we got to the CLUB(ha!), I noticed that it was TINY!!! When we went in I was in SHOCK that ADULT. was basically playing at some "basic", one-level, neighborhood-bar-like,?...CLUB!!! It was soo awesome to not have security at the front doors cramming their fingers up our assholes for camera's, recorder's, gum, etc...In fact, we were allowed to take photo's, record, & video-record!!! I did NOT know this at the time & got pissed that I didn't find out earlier so that I could've brought our camcorder!!! I did, luckily, have my camera & audio-digital recorder in the car, so I ran back to the car to grab those things before they went on!!! When ADULT. started, I walked up to the stage & sat on the right(stage-left)edge of the stage itself!!! I got so wrapped up into their performance that I left Rick sitting at our booth/table with my recorder! haha! He says that it's ok though, that he had a great time just watching them from where he was...which made me feel much better. See, with my back disorder, I can't really stand up for a real long time or the pain starts, so that is why I stayed in "my" spot for the whole show! hehe! I can not WAIT for their return this fall!!! It was such a great show! I hope they continue the open-recording policy!!! If so, I'm definitely *THERE* to record! Unfortunately, I didn't get to talk with or meet Nicola or Adam after the show because Rick needed to get home to sleep. He had to work the next day!!! ADULT. didn't start until 11:20pm & ended at 12:30. The tickets said the show started at 8:00pm---but we didn't know there would be TWO acts before ADULT., so that is the ONLY reason why I left!! I hope they meet with fans again in the fall! If it's that small again, I'm sure they will...So yes, this was indeed a HUGE May highlight! I will share some photo's down below, as I said---you can see ALL of the photo's in my yahoo ADULT. photo album's! I sent some of them to ADULT.; they thanked me for sending them & said they would use & post them this summer!!! That's such an honor to me!!! I mean, I LOVE ADULT. as much, if not more, than Bjork!!! I don't think people "get" their work yet though, so it'll be a couple of more years before they are "found", I think? I HOPE!!! They deserve a lot of recognition, just as I said about Tori back in '93-'96 hehehe. So anyway, that was a GREAT night I'll ALWAYS remember!!!! Ok so then my b-day rolls around & Rick asked what I really wanted to do & I told him that all of this music stuff & the concerts was WAY MORE than enough sooo???nothing really? Just to relax?.. He insisted I choose something, so I decided to go spend some of the b-day money I had received from family/friends, on clothes. That is what I actually did for my b-day! haha, shopping! Ok Shopping & a b-day drink at the Abbey. It was GREAT though! I found a new designer I love & ended up spending MORE than my b-day money(which was $150.00 in b-day money!!!). The reason I spent some MORE on clothes is because this line of clothing I found feels like it was cut just for my body!!! It's sooooo cozy & yummy!!! Ok so there is more than 1 designer I've fallen in love with & have WAY over-spent on, but oh well! hehh! The names of some designer's I LOVE are: Glitterboy(the one I found ON my b-day & spent too much money on hehe), 4YOU(OH! this is the BEST!), Ben Ryan, Punto Blanco, Illig, Krush & sevenD, etc... Sooo, as you can see, I've collected a lot of new YUMMY clothes!!! I finally found some clothes that I feel GOOD wearing! It's amazing what a nice long bath & changing into a kick-ass outfit can do! I had "forgotten" this feeling!!! Well, not really, I just hadn't done that in a while! I've been in a clothing phase, though, since last December!!! I dunno what's up with it! It's as if I can't get enough clothes!!! I definitely started out buying/wanting some new clothes for my new headshots, but it changed into a SPREE!!! ha! So now that I've spent so much, I'm putting the credit card away for a while!!! This shopping was a lot of fun though, so I don't want to keep it away for a LONG time, just long enough for us to get caught up financially.
May also brought in some work for me. I was called to work in an "Orbit" commercial, so I took that offer up right away!!! This was a GREAT set with such loving people!!!
I am really hoping to get some more work like this throughout the summer. I have been doing research on good SAG-franchised agencies & how to get signed, etc. I’ve, so far, found two really good agencies that cast for principle work, so I’m just hoping to get some work through these new temporary agencies. Once I get signed to a SAG-franchised agency, I’ll be exclusive to them; but for now, I can have & go through as many agencies as I want.(the non SAG-franchised agencies that is). So this is the acting thing I’m starting up again.
Between the acting & the music adventure, my time is just vanishing FAST!!! I can’t believe how time flies by while I’m researching good agencies & songwriting!!! 3 hours feels like 20 minutes to me anymore! Oh wells…Speaking of songwriting, I’ve been working on some new songs. The newest song is called “Sexy You”.(or “Sexy You, Sexy Me”)---I haven’t decided yet because I haven’t finalized the lyrics. It’s so very time-consuming to work on my music! People just don’t understand the time it takes to make a great song! I just hope that I can get this one finished soon because another song is already calling me to write it! I must type out more about sometime…I need to get it out of my head & down in text! Tori is sooo soo correct when she says that the songs already exist & that she’s just a medium that translates them sonically. I experience the exact same thing. Anyway, I’ll definitely type more out on the music schtuff later.
Sooo soo sooo, k, where were we?...Ah yes, the end of May. I worked the commercial & that’s when the acting bug got triggered again & I found some agencies to get my foot back in the door.
On June 1st I went with Rick to see the Fischerspooner. :sigh:, Now, I LOVE the FischerSpooner, BUT, this particular show just sucked…You see, they are experimenting right now & just “testing” things out to make a GRAND performance to tour with, in the fall. Because of this, I will forgive them this time! Hehh! I do love their new CD, but damn they definitely need a huge overhaul on their actual SHOW!!! Even Rick agreed that the performance lacked a lot of what “FischerSpooner” is.(whatever that is).
I’m just happy I got to see them actually?...No matter what, I will always support them & give them some love! I will definitely go to their Fall show to see the final results of their experiments; it should be great!
So, since June 1st, I’ve just been keeping myself busy with music, acting, running a billion errands with Rick, visiting Roger, talking/keeping in touch with family/friends, etc…the usual. Nothing too exciting, aside from the acting re-birth & the songwriting with my new instruments! WahOooOO!
Things are great! They really are…but on & off I get sorta down? I can’t figure this out, but I’ll type more on that later too. For now, I’m going to continue seeking casting notices through my new agencies(as well as waiting for calls, etc.), work more on my song’s, plant some flowers, & just go with the flow creating anything & everything that comes to mind! This including: acting, music, painting, drawing, photography, etc….ANYTHING & EVERYTHING! ;]
I will share what I can, periodically, but for right now I’ll stick with some pictures to go with the entry.
I will get the pics up very very SOON. I have to resize them & all that schtuff. ;]
Much Love(to anyone that even reads this stuff) & Many hugs!!!
& to myself: KEEP YOUR JOURNAL UPDATED r.xs!!!
xoxoxoxoxooxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxxooxoxxoxo’s
APRIL:
TORI AMOS! haha! That's pretty much all of April. I spent the WHOLE month following Tori on her 1st U.S. leg of her "Original Sinsuality" tour. For the shows I didn't make it to, I would wait & watch for the setlist to come in, song by song, on a friend's webpage. He would text msg. a friend, who would then post it for everyone. Not only did I do this, but in May, I also downloaded/made CD's of EVERY show from the 1st leg of the tour when I returned!!! Nuts???..., yes I know!!! hahaha
I also found MANY past Tori concerts to download & burn to DVD! This took up a lot of my time! You see, between the CD making & DVD making (as well as labels & typing up the setlists with all of this), I was just GONE!!! I taught myself all about .FLAC, .SHN, .OGG, .VOB, .IFO, .BUP, etc... files & how to go about converting them to burn & back up to CD.(& to play on my 'puter).
Backing up a tiny bit here; I met one of my best friend's, Jason-from Minneapolis, up in San Francisco to go see Tori together!!! It was soo nice to hang out in a different city with him AND my ex-boyfriend, Roger---who flew with me from L.A. Roger was so nice to pay for my plane ticket as my b-day gift!!! SO very nice of him!!! When we got into San Fran., we immediately went to meet Jason at the Hotel. We stayed right downtown, a couple of blocks from the venue!!! (Davies Symphony Hall);It was awesomeness!!! Anyway, we got all checked in & then decided to go walk around the Haight & Castro area's. We all did some shopping; I found some kick ass shoes I wanted to buy last fall from a store here, in L.A., but they were $250.00!!! @ the Melrose shopping area. These were on-sale for $60.00 so I snatched them up!!! I also got some really nice clothes, some YUMMY-SMELL-GOOD stuff for baths, & a few other things from various stores along Haight St. I will post some pics to accompany my updates. ;) This is going to be another :sigh: LONG one, but I NEED to catch up before I can move on & get my current thoughts typed out. SO ANYWAY, as I was saying, we went out for a bit to do some sight-seeing & shopping!
That night when we returned to the hotel room,around 7pm-ish?, we noticed there was trouble with the toilet!!! We called the downstairs & to make a LONG story short: After much patience & politeness, we finally asked them if there was another room available because the maintenance guy couldn't fix the toilet 100%; he told us it would take about 3-4 hours to be semi-dry; So the front desk manager told Roger over the phone that there weren't any other rooms open & that they were completely booked for the weekend!!! I then asked Roger to call back to see if they would kindly give us info. on other hotels in the area that might have another room. He decided to just go handle it face to face & that got us somewhere!!! They upgraded us to a much nicer room on the top floor, so that was nice!!! The next day was the day of the concert & I was excited to go to the meet & greet WITH Jason!!! Well, a few days prior---at last minute, Jason decided that he didn't want to do the meet & greet with me, to see Tori, so I was really disappointed over this because I knew that I wouldn't make it in time to the next day's meet & greet, in L.A.(I flew back home on the 25th to go see Tori with Rick---it was the last show of that leg's tour). I decided to walk over to the venue anyway to see if it was really crowded & if I was too late to go ahead & go alone!!! :-( Well, when I got there, I only saw 10 people. I knew 6 of the 10 people! haha So I said hello to Kate, & I didn't have an interest in saying hello to any of the other's because of past drama with them. Since there weren't many people there, I thought Jason might want to come hang out with me. I tell Kate good-bye, & kindly told her that I didn't want to do the meet & greet for my own reasons.(I didn't want to tell her that I didn't want to hang out with her because she was hanging around people I can't stand to be around---they have this certain mentality that is just INSANE!!!---but I don't have time to get into that right now!). I walked back over to the Hotel room to snatch Jason up before more people arrived for the meet & greet. WELL, :sigh: :sigh: :sigh:...Jason and I got into an argument because he didn't want to go. You see, I paid for his concert ticket for another EX-friend, originally. When I explained to Jason that I had an extra ticket, he was ALL FOR going to the meet & greet & just having an "ALL-TORI" DAY/NIGHT!!! Boy did THAT change FAST before we got into San Francisco!!! 3 days to be exact he-he-he!!!
It may seem childish to other's but come on!!! He's my BEST FRIEND that I've known since 1997!!! UGH! He KNOWS how important this was to me!!! ESPECIALLY after telling him that I gave Tori a VERY Special letter & bag of "Tori-Goodies" at the March 13th, Tower Records signing!!! I wanted THIS particular meet & greet in S.F. to be my last... I also wanted to go to see her reaction to my letter.(I got reactions in other ways---more on that to come...). So, we basically WASTED the whole fucking afternoon arguing!!! I finally put a stop to it & said, "FINE!!! We'll go back to Haight I guess, so I can buy that other pair of shoes I wanted!"----& that's what we did, as well as running back over to the Castro so that Roger could pick up a gift for a friend of his. When we returned from that, Jason and I started to get cleaned up & ready to go to the Tori concert. This was the ONLY time during the trip that I even felt a LITTLE bit like I was having a Tori "experience" in San Francisco! Damn this pissed me off!!! So, we smoke a lot of pot & I take an extra pill of mine to relax myself from the days arguing.(I had had a panic attack earlier that day from the fighting!)... When we got to the venue, I immediately ran into Sammy J!!! She lives down here in L.A. too, so it was so GREAT to see her! HAD I KNOWN that SHE was going to SF AND the Meet & Greet that day, then NONE of the arguing with Jason would have happened, etc. hahaha, so it was pretty fucked up that I ran into her! We talk a lot through email, but neither of us mentioned we were going to S.F. to see Tori! haha Well, the show started & that was it!!! I was "back" in my Tori world & forgot about everything that had happened that day(even though I was still pissed at Jason, I blocked it all out to enjoy the show!). I loved the show!!! It was like a mix of what I saw in '96 & '01!!! It was sooo good! The ONLY thing missing from this tour was the Harpsichord!!! Other than that, it was PERFECT!!! As I said though, I had already seen & heard the other shows, but this show had extra "magick" for some reason! The show ended & I tried to get backstage just to give her this last little note & bracelet I got in Hawai'i from a Shaman Woman. blah! I started talking to this woman & she said that I was breaking her heart & that she'd LOVE to do this for me this ONE time, BUT unfortunately, she wasn't holding any backstage meetings that night because she was going straight down to L.A. & that she did!!! :-( So I thought, o.k., well, I'll just give it to her after the L.A. show, the next night. The next day I return back to L.A. SOOO relieved to see Rick, my LOVE!!! He is always SOO FUCKING understanding & ALWAYS supportive of what I want to do!!! He knows & just has this TRUE understanding of how my back trouble, & anxiety disorder fuck with me a lot too, so this is an extra special reason as to why I LOVE him SOO much. Jason and Roger love me, yeah yeah yeah, BUT they just DON'T understand how much I needed ONE of them to be with me(***sammy j would've been fine too, but I didnt know she'd be going as I said); It's like, they don't understand how bad my anxiety can get *out of the blue*, so this is why I really wanted one of them to be with me at the Meet & Greet, but ohhhhhh no. Boo to them! So, as I was saying, it was so nice to come back home to find my love ready & willing to go along with anything I wanted to do on "Tori-Day" with him. ;] He is such a true gentleman!!! Oh really quick here; Before leaving to come back home to L.A., I told Jason that next time he is buying his own ticket & can do his own thang in SF if he wanted to meet up again because ALL of my extra future Tori tickets are going to my sister. She is also just as crazy about Tori still, so she will be the one I give future tix to when Rick can't join me. So Rick and I go to the L.A. show that night & it was even MORE magickal!!! I was lucky & got my tickets upgraded to front row back in March!!! So this was extra-super special!!! As Tori was playing, she looked up & recognized me(I've been following her since '93). She gave out a huuuuuge grin & then went str8 into "Cool On Your Island" & then "doughnut song"!!!! hehe, I thought this was cute since she KNOWS I have an obsession with PELE (her cd & the goddess PELE). We had eye contact off & on for the rest of the night. After the show I remembered what the woman told me what she told me in S.F. the night before, so I told Rick to wait a little bit to see if I could find the woman to try & get backstage. Of course I had forgotten the letter & bracelet in the car!!! OF COURSE!!! UGH! So Rick ran back to the car for me as fast as he could to grab my stuff to give to her & by the time he got back they had shut the doors. :sigh:...so I'm reallllly hoping that I can get this LAST letter & bracelet to her on the 2nd leg coming up this fall---then I'm DONE with meet & greets forever. I've met/talked with Tori 7 times since '96, so I'm more than happy with that. Some people have met her 1,000,000 times---but they are the greedy, shallow, etc. fans, in my opinion. At one point, all of "us" Tori fans were pretty much the "same"---back in the early 90's----then something changed in her fan base around 1998; it's like these stuck-up, CLUELESS people found her & thought it was "cool" to like her. hahahaha. Yeah, something like this. I mean, there were fans like this prior, but very few from my experience. Also, not ALL "new" fans from '98 to NOW are those things, but trust me, :sigh:...there are a lot. If you don't believe me, you can just go check out these SAD FREAKS in Tori's area of @forumz.com. Anyway, THOSE are the FREAKS(& not the good kind of freaks either), that feel they have to be first in line at EVERY meet & greet, signing, tv appearances, & just EVERYTHING!!! I feel I should let other's that haven't had the opportunity to meet Tori, to get their chance too; So this is why I just want to say "good-bye" for a while, even though I'll still go support her shows. April was a month filled with MANY surprises, much happiness & a couple of disappointments. Overall, though, I will always have beautiful memories of April 2005 because of her performances.
MAY:
The first 2 weeks of May were spent finishing up the CD's & DVD's for myself & friends! Again. let me stress TIME-CONSUMING here!!! I am SO glad to be down with all of those downloads, conversions, & labeling!!! I made a total of 80 audio cd's, 40 back-up cd's, & 80 DVD's!!! NOW things start getting even better!!!(I didn't think it was possible after April's touring!! ha!) I had decided to dip into my money to go buy myself a b-day gift from Guitar Center! I really wanted this "micro-KORG" mini-synth & vocoder that was on sale for $400.00!!! When I first saw these in 2000, they were $1,500!!! SOO, I went ahead & bought this! Then I got to thinking...":sigh:, I really should've spent the money on professional speakers, so maybe I can spend $150.00 more on myself & then quit spending money!". I went back to Guitar Center to find that they are $150.00 for EACH speaker, not for a pair as I thought before! hahaha---silly me! I'm new to this field though, so what did I know? I'm learning....I'm learning a lot! Anyway, so I came home depressed & had a long talk with my honey about how I needed professional equipment & a program to make professional music; but most importantly, at that point, professional speakers to HEAR fine detail of my music!!! Well, he felt bad because he's been trying to help me get this going since 2001!!! He said that he would help me get the speakers & an electric piano for my music room. (I already had my 76-key Roland Fantom---which came out in 2001---we got it a year ago on-sale for $1,300...) So we go to Guitar Center that night & my world was FILLED with HAPPINESS!!! At this very moment, I'm STILL overly-excited! Rick went behind my back, as I was smoking a cigarette outside on a break from looking at gear, & started negotiating with a salesman for EVERYTHING I told him I wanted & needed to get GREAT QUALITY recordings, etc. I had tears of happiness swell up in my eyes because I have never had someone do something THIS NICE in a LOOOOOOONG time!!! A VERY LONG time! So, I ended up getting:
1. a Roland Fantom X8!!!---My DREAM keyboard!!!(for $3,000)
2. 2 professional Mics I've wanted---One Condensor & One Dynamic
3. Mic Stands/clips
4. A new Mixer for all instruments
5. The M-Box with the program, Pro Tools
6. 2 PROFESSIONAL KRK Speakers
7. ALL cables I needed
8. A double-stack keyboard stand!!!
I could NOT believe this was happening!!! Rick told me that he was tired of seeing me struggle & getting frustrated not being able to create, so that is why he just threw in the towel & spent the money! He considered this my BIG b-day gift!!! LOL I was MORE than fine with that! hahah! I am fine with it being my b-day, yule, anniversary, etc...an ALL YEAR gift!!! hee! I'm still excited & can't believe I own all of this beautiful equipment!!! I have wanted this stuff for sooooo long but I could never keep money saved because something ALWAYS comes up, causing me to spend what money I had saved!!! So this was a very EXTRA-Special b-day for me! The thing is, it wasn't even my b-day! ha! This was early May. I spent the next 2 weeks working on getting it all set-up & reading some on the new keyboards & such. After this big surprise, things slowed down a bit again & I was able to contact my family as usual & catch up a little with everyone via phone.
Next, May 13th rolled around & I went to see ADULT.!!! I LOVE ADULT. even MORE NOW!!! I LOVE them soo much more performing on stage! I thought they were more popular for some reason & had imagined their show being like any other artist's but I was sooo wrong! When we got to the CLUB(ha!), I noticed that it was TINY!!! When we went in I was in SHOCK that ADULT. was basically playing at some "basic", one-level, neighborhood-bar-like,?...CLUB!!! It was soo awesome to not have security at the front doors cramming their fingers up our assholes for camera's, recorder's, gum, etc...In fact, we were allowed to take photo's, record, & video-record!!! I did NOT know this at the time & got pissed that I didn't find out earlier so that I could've brought our camcorder!!! I did, luckily, have my camera & audio-digital recorder in the car, so I ran back to the car to grab those things before they went on!!! When ADULT. started, I walked up to the stage & sat on the right(stage-left)edge of the stage itself!!! I got so wrapped up into their performance that I left Rick sitting at our booth/table with my recorder! haha! He says that it's ok though, that he had a great time just watching them from where he was...which made me feel much better. See, with my back disorder, I can't really stand up for a real long time or the pain starts, so that is why I stayed in "my" spot for the whole show! hehe! I can not WAIT for their return this fall!!! It was such a great show! I hope they continue the open-recording policy!!! If so, I'm definitely *THERE* to record! Unfortunately, I didn't get to talk with or meet Nicola or Adam after the show because Rick needed to get home to sleep. He had to work the next day!!! ADULT. didn't start until 11:20pm & ended at 12:30. The tickets said the show started at 8:00pm---but we didn't know there would be TWO acts before ADULT., so that is the ONLY reason why I left!! I hope they meet with fans again in the fall! If it's that small again, I'm sure they will...So yes, this was indeed a HUGE May highlight! I will share some photo's down below, as I said---you can see ALL of the photo's in my yahoo ADULT. photo album's! I sent some of them to ADULT.; they thanked me for sending them & said they would use & post them this summer!!! That's such an honor to me!!! I mean, I LOVE ADULT. as much, if not more, than Bjork!!! I don't think people "get" their work yet though, so it'll be a couple of more years before they are "found", I think? I HOPE!!! They deserve a lot of recognition, just as I said about Tori back in '93-'96 hehehe. So anyway, that was a GREAT night I'll ALWAYS remember!!!! Ok so then my b-day rolls around & Rick asked what I really wanted to do & I told him that all of this music stuff & the concerts was WAY MORE than enough sooo???nothing really? Just to relax?.. He insisted I choose something, so I decided to go spend some of the b-day money I had received from family/friends, on clothes. That is what I actually did for my b-day! haha, shopping! Ok Shopping & a b-day drink at the Abbey. It was GREAT though! I found a new designer I love & ended up spending MORE than my b-day money(which was $150.00 in b-day money!!!). The reason I spent some MORE on clothes is because this line of clothing I found feels like it was cut just for my body!!! It's sooooo cozy & yummy!!! Ok so there is more than 1 designer I've fallen in love with & have WAY over-spent on, but oh well! hehh! The names of some designer's I LOVE are: Glitterboy(the one I found ON my b-day & spent too much money on hehe), 4YOU(OH! this is the BEST!), Ben Ryan, Punto Blanco, Illig, Krush & sevenD, etc... Sooo, as you can see, I've collected a lot of new YUMMY clothes!!! I finally found some clothes that I feel GOOD wearing! It's amazing what a nice long bath & changing into a kick-ass outfit can do! I had "forgotten" this feeling!!! Well, not really, I just hadn't done that in a while! I've been in a clothing phase, though, since last December!!! I dunno what's up with it! It's as if I can't get enough clothes!!! I definitely started out buying/wanting some new clothes for my new headshots, but it changed into a SPREE!!! ha! So now that I've spent so much, I'm putting the credit card away for a while!!! This shopping was a lot of fun though, so I don't want to keep it away for a LONG time, just long enough for us to get caught up financially.
May also brought in some work for me. I was called to work in an "Orbit" commercial, so I took that offer up right away!!! This was a GREAT set with such loving people!!!
I am really hoping to get some more work like this throughout the summer. I have been doing research on good SAG-franchised agencies & how to get signed, etc. I’ve, so far, found two really good agencies that cast for principle work, so I’m just hoping to get some work through these new temporary agencies. Once I get signed to a SAG-franchised agency, I’ll be exclusive to them; but for now, I can have & go through as many agencies as I want.(the non SAG-franchised agencies that is). So this is the acting thing I’m starting up again.
Between the acting & the music adventure, my time is just vanishing FAST!!! I can’t believe how time flies by while I’m researching good agencies & songwriting!!! 3 hours feels like 20 minutes to me anymore! Oh wells…Speaking of songwriting, I’ve been working on some new songs. The newest song is called “Sexy You”.(or “Sexy You, Sexy Me”)---I haven’t decided yet because I haven’t finalized the lyrics. It’s so very time-consuming to work on my music! People just don’t understand the time it takes to make a great song! I just hope that I can get this one finished soon because another song is already calling me to write it! I must type out more about sometime…I need to get it out of my head & down in text! Tori is sooo soo correct when she says that the songs already exist & that she’s just a medium that translates them sonically. I experience the exact same thing. Anyway, I’ll definitely type more out on the music schtuff later.
Sooo soo sooo, k, where were we?...Ah yes, the end of May. I worked the commercial & that’s when the acting bug got triggered again & I found some agencies to get my foot back in the door.
On June 1st I went with Rick to see the Fischerspooner. :sigh:, Now, I LOVE the FischerSpooner, BUT, this particular show just sucked…You see, they are experimenting right now & just “testing” things out to make a GRAND performance to tour with, in the fall. Because of this, I will forgive them this time! Hehh! I do love their new CD, but damn they definitely need a huge overhaul on their actual SHOW!!! Even Rick agreed that the performance lacked a lot of what “FischerSpooner” is.(whatever that is).
I’m just happy I got to see them actually?...No matter what, I will always support them & give them some love! I will definitely go to their Fall show to see the final results of their experiments; it should be great!
So, since June 1st, I’ve just been keeping myself busy with music, acting, running a billion errands with Rick, visiting Roger, talking/keeping in touch with family/friends, etc…the usual. Nothing too exciting, aside from the acting re-birth & the songwriting with my new instruments! WahOooOO!
Things are great! They really are…but on & off I get sorta down? I can’t figure this out, but I’ll type more on that later too. For now, I’m going to continue seeking casting notices through my new agencies(as well as waiting for calls, etc.), work more on my song’s, plant some flowers, & just go with the flow creating anything & everything that comes to mind! This including: acting, music, painting, drawing, photography, etc….ANYTHING & EVERYTHING! ;]
I will share what I can, periodically, but for right now I’ll stick with some pictures to go with the entry.
I will get the pics up very very SOON. I have to resize them & all that schtuff. ;]
Much Love(to anyone that even reads this stuff) & Many hugs!!!
& to myself: KEEP YOUR JOURNAL UPDATED r.xs!!!
xoxoxoxoxooxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxxooxoxxoxo’s