'Twas the best of times, 'twas the worst of times
*sigh* Wow. What a crazy week or so. I lost all faith and severed all ties with someone who used to be my friend, I made two new ones (who are truly awesome people), I grew in power with my practice, I planted the seed of really being a leader, and I got a taste of being a father.
*lights cigarette* First things first. A couple friends of mine - Fred and Chrissy - were engaged for one, maybe two years. Then, one day, she decides that she should start dating other people and figure out who she is and what she wants. All that while, she wants Fred to wait for her to come back and she's lying to the friends she had about allegations of abuse and such. At the SPSA meeting I went to on Wednesday, I hear that she's sleeping with another guy; how droll. Later I find that she lied about the kind of person I am. Never do that, JFYI; to me, it is an unforgivable offense. Long story short, she lost all my trust, my friendship (you'd have to ask my friends what that's worth because I don't really know how good I am), and all sense of her being a good person. Now, I realize why I was resisting her when she tried healing me…
Now, my new ones. The first I met a while ago, but never got to know her till the night before (the SPSA meeting). Her name is Kadie. She may be shorter than most other people, but she's the biggest person I know with a heart to match. She's also one of few genuinely beautiful people I'm aware of - inside and out. Hers is the kind of story that will bring you to tears or nearly so, but she's so incredibly sweet that you wouldn't realize what kind of pain she hides (very well, might I add). She was told that I wouldn't so much as give her the time of day (knowing what kind of person she is, an arrest or even a lawsuit against Chrissy for slander is too kind a punishment for that) when the opposite is true; I love her to death. She's a wonderful person to be around and I'm so glad to have gotten to know her. Even with the most special place in my heart still belonging to my fiancé, Christiana. The other is Maircod (pronounced mah-red), an obviously Irish, clearly professed Wiccan with surprisingly Republican views (I only say that because the norm/stereotype is a more liberal viewpoint). I met her at a friend of Brittney's for whom she cleans and babysits (which will lead into the other part of my story, so bear with me). I was there to help clear away some of the brush that was cut down to make room for a more suitable garden and Maircod came by for extra help. There was little we didn't find in common with each other and we talked comfortably while we worked. I know I make friends easily, but this was ridiculous. She also came with us to the SPSA meeting later that night and a small gathering at Brit's apartment after that. It was such a good time that I hated having to leave. I haven't heard much from Maircod, but Kadie actually called me the next day and we've been talking pretty much the whole time; online and on the phone.
*chuckle* Next, my adventures in the father 'hood (bad pun, I know; sue me, if you feel that strongly about it). The children Brittney watches are Lily (5, I think) and her sister Naomi (3, nearly 4). After loading some lopped bushes, checking on a job prospect and getting lunch, I helped a little with the girls. I surprised myself with how well I handled myself and them while they played; it kinda made me feel like I was their dad and it was the coolest thing in the world. I'm not sure I'll ever be completely ready - if at all - to be a dad, but I know that I want to, especially with such an amazing woman that I'm promised to marry as their mother. Sure it's gonna be rough - changing diapers for one, ick - but I can't wait to see how much fun we'll have and how cool it'll be to see my own children grow up like I did. And, you never truly realize what you believe until you start teaching your kids.
Lastly, my practice. During a cleaning spree, we finally rid ourselves of an eyesore that would otherwise be known as a divider freeing up lots more space in the house. (more to come as the divider for the "office" will be moved once we clear space for it) That night, I chose to perform the LBRP in the new vacancy. I ran through all the motions for the pentacles to make sure I remembered and started in right after. As soon as I finished, the space felt clean; I touched the carpet soon after and I had the sensation of touching the coated concrete floor in the shop after just being mopped. Soon after, I noticed four presences in the house - one in each cardinal direction - that I recognized as the four Archangels named in the ritual. I can even sense them right now. Far earlier, I managed to pick up a copy of 'The Magick of Reiki' after being inspired by seeing one that Leah has. My amazement at the material led me to suggest a study group in the order on Reiki; to learn the mechanisms and essentials of it before learning from a master. It will be a very important step in my trek to become a true healer and I hope some of my group will acquire the same.
There you have it; that about sums up my week. *lights another cigarette, smiles warmly* I'm growing more than I ever have and it's better than I ever dreamed (even with being shit on by someone who I thought was a true friend). No matter how bleak my outlook used to be, I somehow knew that the best was yet to come. I was pleasantly surprised at how good it became and can't wait to see how it gets better.
The moon's gotta set sometime. Of course, so does the sun, so it isn't all bad.
~The moonlight shadow smiles as he fades before the morning light.
*lights cigarette* First things first. A couple friends of mine - Fred and Chrissy - were engaged for one, maybe two years. Then, one day, she decides that she should start dating other people and figure out who she is and what she wants. All that while, she wants Fred to wait for her to come back and she's lying to the friends she had about allegations of abuse and such. At the SPSA meeting I went to on Wednesday, I hear that she's sleeping with another guy; how droll. Later I find that she lied about the kind of person I am. Never do that, JFYI; to me, it is an unforgivable offense. Long story short, she lost all my trust, my friendship (you'd have to ask my friends what that's worth because I don't really know how good I am), and all sense of her being a good person. Now, I realize why I was resisting her when she tried healing me…
Now, my new ones. The first I met a while ago, but never got to know her till the night before (the SPSA meeting). Her name is Kadie. She may be shorter than most other people, but she's the biggest person I know with a heart to match. She's also one of few genuinely beautiful people I'm aware of - inside and out. Hers is the kind of story that will bring you to tears or nearly so, but she's so incredibly sweet that you wouldn't realize what kind of pain she hides (very well, might I add). She was told that I wouldn't so much as give her the time of day (knowing what kind of person she is, an arrest or even a lawsuit against Chrissy for slander is too kind a punishment for that) when the opposite is true; I love her to death. She's a wonderful person to be around and I'm so glad to have gotten to know her. Even with the most special place in my heart still belonging to my fiancé, Christiana. The other is Maircod (pronounced mah-red), an obviously Irish, clearly professed Wiccan with surprisingly Republican views (I only say that because the norm/stereotype is a more liberal viewpoint). I met her at a friend of Brittney's for whom she cleans and babysits (which will lead into the other part of my story, so bear with me). I was there to help clear away some of the brush that was cut down to make room for a more suitable garden and Maircod came by for extra help. There was little we didn't find in common with each other and we talked comfortably while we worked. I know I make friends easily, but this was ridiculous. She also came with us to the SPSA meeting later that night and a small gathering at Brit's apartment after that. It was such a good time that I hated having to leave. I haven't heard much from Maircod, but Kadie actually called me the next day and we've been talking pretty much the whole time; online and on the phone.
*chuckle* Next, my adventures in the father 'hood (bad pun, I know; sue me, if you feel that strongly about it). The children Brittney watches are Lily (5, I think) and her sister Naomi (3, nearly 4). After loading some lopped bushes, checking on a job prospect and getting lunch, I helped a little with the girls. I surprised myself with how well I handled myself and them while they played; it kinda made me feel like I was their dad and it was the coolest thing in the world. I'm not sure I'll ever be completely ready - if at all - to be a dad, but I know that I want to, especially with such an amazing woman that I'm promised to marry as their mother. Sure it's gonna be rough - changing diapers for one, ick - but I can't wait to see how much fun we'll have and how cool it'll be to see my own children grow up like I did. And, you never truly realize what you believe until you start teaching your kids.
Lastly, my practice. During a cleaning spree, we finally rid ourselves of an eyesore that would otherwise be known as a divider freeing up lots more space in the house. (more to come as the divider for the "office" will be moved once we clear space for it) That night, I chose to perform the LBRP in the new vacancy. I ran through all the motions for the pentacles to make sure I remembered and started in right after. As soon as I finished, the space felt clean; I touched the carpet soon after and I had the sensation of touching the coated concrete floor in the shop after just being mopped. Soon after, I noticed four presences in the house - one in each cardinal direction - that I recognized as the four Archangels named in the ritual. I can even sense them right now. Far earlier, I managed to pick up a copy of 'The Magick of Reiki' after being inspired by seeing one that Leah has. My amazement at the material led me to suggest a study group in the order on Reiki; to learn the mechanisms and essentials of it before learning from a master. It will be a very important step in my trek to become a true healer and I hope some of my group will acquire the same.
There you have it; that about sums up my week. *lights another cigarette, smiles warmly* I'm growing more than I ever have and it's better than I ever dreamed (even with being shit on by someone who I thought was a true friend). No matter how bleak my outlook used to be, I somehow knew that the best was yet to come. I was pleasantly surprised at how good it became and can't wait to see how it gets better.
The moon's gotta set sometime. Of course, so does the sun, so it isn't all bad.
~The moonlight shadow smiles as he fades before the morning light.