going to california.
tuesday night, ivan messaged me. he was upset, we talked and talked, he said he missed me, that he was so sorry, that he wanted to see me before he left, that he wanted to lay in bed with me, again. i believed it all, and i went and got him at 3 in the morning. he came back, we laughed and laughed, and talked and talked. we had sex, and it was glorious, then came the emotions, he didn't want to leave, we wanted to run away, be together hand in hand into the sunset. we couldn't. we had no plan. i wanted to steal him away from the hurt, the pain of having to say goodbye. i wanted him to stay, but for once, i know he is coming back. he left his things here, things he wouldn't leave without, and a kiss still on my lips that he has to recieve before he goes. we are going to write, we are going to visit, and i'm jealous to think that maybe he will find better than me. he feels the same, he is jealous of matt. he knows me so well, and i hate it. i just wish he could stay. it's down to 7 days. one week, and i'm going to blow his mind.
we were so alike, we were bound to fight.
but, now.
we want to fight to be together.