(no subject)
i've just gotten over a very huge mountain, but now i'm stuck in mid-air,
i don't know whether now i will fall, or continue upwards.
maybe i'd rather fall and just get it over with. doing the right things in life should never be this hard.
why is it that when somebody hurts you, you automatically want to hurt yourself, not even just physically but by either listening to the most depressing music you can find, or binging and purging just for that release feeling,
or go over every happy memory you had with that person just to torture yourself. i don't get it.
at least being this upset makes me not even think about food.
and not being hungry is the greatest thing i could ever ask for.
i don't know whether now i will fall, or continue upwards.
maybe i'd rather fall and just get it over with. doing the right things in life should never be this hard.
why is it that when somebody hurts you, you automatically want to hurt yourself, not even just physically but by either listening to the most depressing music you can find, or binging and purging just for that release feeling,
or go over every happy memory you had with that person just to torture yourself. i don't get it.
at least being this upset makes me not even think about food.
and not being hungry is the greatest thing i could ever ask for.