insomnia is a bitch

[drinkmeemo]

who ever thought being in love could be so hard. i have tryed to keep my compsure, but i cant. i haven't sleeped in almost a week. every where i go i think about you. mainly its been your smile, the way you would look at me, the way you would smile when in eachothers arms. you have such a huge part in my mind set and all i can do is sit here and

Comments

[bitchin_babe]

the problem is i can't believe you and i can't trust you right now...stop pushing...its NOT helpin. and stop with the posts like this. you kno i will read them...and its not helping. its pushing me away more...i have like 3 guys psycho obessed about me (no joke)...and its pissing me off...and you're seemin to become one of them. its nice to know i am wanted but it isn't cool when i feel suffocated...so just chill like i've been tellin you to do. the calls comin in at 5.am aren't any help. you just piss me off cuz i'm asleep. i dont kno if u have ever noticed...i hate to woke up at night for a call unless i specificly ask for a call. I'm not in the mood to talk when i'm tired. infact i am quick to anger when i'm tired.

when i said i needed time I didn't mean two or three days. I meant something like a month or so. So please dont add on to my stress. i'm not saying to not call. Just think about when you are calling. And Then forget about the long 2 minute messages where you say just "i miss you..." and your just sobbin or something. yes it makes me sad.. to a point...but it stresses me out more. so just relax.

like u have said UR 18! you have so much time for your life. relax...take it slow. besides....(u've also said this one) i'm just 16! I dont know what I want. I donno what I really want to do with my life and who I want with me. (yes you have also said those words yourself).

[drinkmeemo]

no i haven't, and you have told me thies words...and i quote,"call me any time". so i did. what you fail to do is comunicate with me on thies main points. now for your shallowness... vary un-needed. thanx, but if i am such a burden then fuck it.

[bitchin_babe]

"no you haven't" what? true...i have said in the past...call me anytime. but come on. when u call like 4 times in a row. it's obvious...i'm not picking up. I've been so tired that I can't and don't hear it. and that night my phone wasn't right next to me. it woke up my sis and she woke me up and i just turned it on silent.
i'm not being shallow. how the fuck am i being shallow? by not wanting to be stressed out because of you crying on my voice mail? not wanting to be woken up when i am sleeping? By not wanting to go out with you and marry you and pretend everything is ok when it is not? I'm not happy. and you keep askin me to be happy with you by trying to make things work. I can't just put on a fake smile for you to make you happy because then, i'd be lying to the both of us. not cool. I just need my room too breathe. and just let me continue having it.

[drinkmeemo]

in reguards to your fan list, i am sorry i gave mine up for you. now i know it was a mistake. keep up the good work kiddo make your mama proud.

[bitchin_babe]

ok. don't know what u are talkin about...

[drinkmeemo]

you could have been a lil more sensitve about it. thats it.

[bitchin_babe]

sry. but what do u want me to do or say when ur crying and being emotional on my phone? i donno what to do. sry