(no subject)
I know I just posted an entry about 2 hours ago or so but the craziest stuff just happened since I wrote this. It's lengthy but incredibly worth it. Brace yourself.
So Ryan (roommate), Nate (kid down the hall), are looking for a spot to puff. We start walking around Burlington and finish it. We continue to walk around and some guy on a porch just screams across the street asking for a cigarette. So we decided it was alright and the guy just starts telling us stories. He has a bottle of bourbon and a hat that he stole from a homeless man. His name is Kayle and he begins to tell us about 15 stories. None of them are told from the prospective of a typical story. They all overlap and intertwine. Eventually they're all ended. It was masterful. All of these stories involve in being drunk on whiskey.
So, with that said, one of the many that stuck out was "The Couch", as he calls it. He's barefoot walking in the rain when a guy shouts across the way. He asks Kale if he would like to make $10 bucks. The guy agrees and is moving the couch. Pretty standard so far. Then, a swerve off the road into a cement wall. Kale says that he realizes that this guy is the man he's been tracking for 5 years. This guy apparently burned down Kale's woods when he was a kid. "A Fucking bastard", is how he describes the guy. So for starters, the probability of just randomly discovering this, is numerically head-spinning. I ask Kale what he did when he found out that he found the guy. He says, "I moved his couch...but then I drank his wine and pissed on his couch. My pants got stuck around my ankle and I pissed on myself." So that was one story. Then he tells us his affinity for psychedelic mushrooms. He says that his favorite trip was when he was in jail, on a lot of mushrooms. He sort of fell asleep at this point and then awoke, and said that he splashed water on his face and saw penguins with rakes in a castle. The castle was a tampon.
Okay, so onto the next story that I remember. Kayle is coming home drunk on whiskey. His dad starts giving him shit about it so Kale locks his dad out of the house. Then he passes out in his bed. He wakes up to an actual swat team over him. On the way out of the house he kicked his dad in the nuts and the swat team maced him in the eyes.
At this point, we all assume that this guy, Kale, lives here. It's just a random porch on some random street. People are passing in and out of the house and no one says anything. Then I ask him if he lives there and he says, "No, I'm homeless. I have no idea who lives here. I just started 'lamping here' with my bourbon." He usually sleeps on railroad tracks and is a graffitti artist. So as the stories are winding down, some girl who lives there says, "Hey, do any of you live here?" We say no and she says to Kayle, "Hey, you slept here last night to. Get the fuck out of here or I'm going to call the cops." We peaced with a good story to tell.
If you read all that, it was worth it.
So Ryan (roommate), Nate (kid down the hall), are looking for a spot to puff. We start walking around Burlington and finish it. We continue to walk around and some guy on a porch just screams across the street asking for a cigarette. So we decided it was alright and the guy just starts telling us stories. He has a bottle of bourbon and a hat that he stole from a homeless man. His name is Kayle and he begins to tell us about 15 stories. None of them are told from the prospective of a typical story. They all overlap and intertwine. Eventually they're all ended. It was masterful. All of these stories involve in being drunk on whiskey.
So, with that said, one of the many that stuck out was "The Couch", as he calls it. He's barefoot walking in the rain when a guy shouts across the way. He asks Kale if he would like to make $10 bucks. The guy agrees and is moving the couch. Pretty standard so far. Then, a swerve off the road into a cement wall. Kale says that he realizes that this guy is the man he's been tracking for 5 years. This guy apparently burned down Kale's woods when he was a kid. "A Fucking bastard", is how he describes the guy. So for starters, the probability of just randomly discovering this, is numerically head-spinning. I ask Kale what he did when he found out that he found the guy. He says, "I moved his couch...but then I drank his wine and pissed on his couch. My pants got stuck around my ankle and I pissed on myself." So that was one story. Then he tells us his affinity for psychedelic mushrooms. He says that his favorite trip was when he was in jail, on a lot of mushrooms. He sort of fell asleep at this point and then awoke, and said that he splashed water on his face and saw penguins with rakes in a castle. The castle was a tampon.
Okay, so onto the next story that I remember. Kayle is coming home drunk on whiskey. His dad starts giving him shit about it so Kale locks his dad out of the house. Then he passes out in his bed. He wakes up to an actual swat team over him. On the way out of the house he kicked his dad in the nuts and the swat team maced him in the eyes.
At this point, we all assume that this guy, Kale, lives here. It's just a random porch on some random street. People are passing in and out of the house and no one says anything. Then I ask him if he lives there and he says, "No, I'm homeless. I have no idea who lives here. I just started 'lamping here' with my bourbon." He usually sleeps on railroad tracks and is a graffitti artist. So as the stories are winding down, some girl who lives there says, "Hey, do any of you live here?" We say no and she says to Kayle, "Hey, you slept here last night to. Get the fuck out of here or I'm going to call the cops." We peaced with a good story to tell.
If you read all that, it was worth it.