(no subject)
I have been studying so much for two weeks now. It feels like I wake up, study, go to class, study, eat dinner with Dad, study, talk to Robert before bed, and go to bed. I'm not even taking a full course load. I don't even have a job. I don't have a lot of friends in Turlock who could be distracting me.
I'm sick today. And there are several things going on that would normally depress me. But I'm not letting them get to me right now. Now I need to read and study and write and I'll let things weigh me down later. Except there really isn't a later, is there? I'm holding off on my stress and depression until being stressed and depressed won't adversely affect my life. That sounds like indefinite to me.
Just typed something about being responsible, but I erased it because there's only one person in the world who thinks I'm responsible and he's biased and in love with me.
When I am pessimistic I believe that I will always be screwing something up. When I am optimistic I think that's ok because nothing is ever ruined, no door closes but one opens, this is the land of opportunity and the world is what I make it.
I need shit to start going right.
...I need to make shit right.
I'm sick today. And there are several things going on that would normally depress me. But I'm not letting them get to me right now. Now I need to read and study and write and I'll let things weigh me down later. Except there really isn't a later, is there? I'm holding off on my stress and depression until being stressed and depressed won't adversely affect my life. That sounds like indefinite to me.
Just typed something about being responsible, but I erased it because there's only one person in the world who thinks I'm responsible and he's biased and in love with me.
When I am pessimistic I believe that I will always be screwing something up. When I am optimistic I think that's ok because nothing is ever ruined, no door closes but one opens, this is the land of opportunity and the world is what I make it.
I need shit to start going right.
...I need to make shit right.